I wouldnt call my inlaws "dad" b/c they arent. And perhaps she thought by saying "dad" it would sound weird, seeings how they aren't close now. Maybe that was her way of waving the white flag. An Olive branch of peace..? Perhaps now Dad can send a note asking how the grandkids have been. He doesnt have to ask about her or his son, who apparently doesnt want to speak to Dad. Maybe after that, they can build something, maybe not. But, the grandkids shouldn't be shorted a grandfather, and maybe, just maybe she realizes that. Please give her credit. She didnt have to send the card, mail it out, etc. She DID put forth some effort to do it. Maybe her husband doesnt know?? And it sounds like she does have other things to do than be mean to your dad... like raise kids. Please give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you should write her saying dad got the card, and you ALL would like to know about the kids?? Maybe that's good middle ground. That way he's not asking, but you ALL are. Maybe send some pics of grandpa, or some pics of the family farm, or hometown, or other pics that the kids may want when they are older. Maybe some of granpa. Do you have any old ones you can get reproduced? Its worth a try. Give someone more than they expect and you will always have a happy person. You will be surprised with what you get back. God bless you and your family.
I have a family just like it!