Henry 007 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

Check grammar please and talk

Check my grammar please and talk about it, I think it should be about

English learning, I post it again because it's been removed before.

I wasn't sure at that moment, and I shut the curtains before went to

bed, the next morning, they was absolute open for no reason, it was

not horrible,

and It was midnight my housemate has seen a woman with very long

gray hair and unclear face, and she kept on looking at him for a

couple of minutes when he was lying on the bed but not really asleep, he was bloody scared, and meanwhile he couldn't move, he couldn't

move anything, later on, a sudden, she flew away from the window

like smoke. and things like that.

what about yours?

The house where we lived was built about 100 years ago and quite

Victorian

okay the house is located in Charton where is a small town in London

Update:

It was named have you seen a phost? by the way

Update 2:

Yes I mean ghost, what about yours? Have you seen a ghost?

talk about your experience.

Update 3:

Yes, that was my real experience, I have posted it before but it was took away,

so I think it should be involved in English learning , ridiculous...lol

Update 4:

by the way, we say "keep on", "a sudden or suddenly", and

thank you anyway for that, cheers mate

1 Answer

Rating
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    我把我改過的地方都用紅字粗體標出來↓藍色means要去掉

    I wasn't sure at that moment, and I shut the curtains before went to

    bed.

    這裡用句點完結一個句子。

    The next morning, they were absolutely open for no reason.

    they是兩個,過去式加were,這裡要用副詞absolutely。

    It was not horrible, and it was midnight.

    句點。

    My housemate had seen a woman with very long gray hair and unclear face.

    過去式用had,這句在這裡完結。

    She kept [on] looking at him for a couple of minutes when he was lying on the bed but not really asleep.

    on省略,but not really asleep 這句有點奇怪但其實文法並沒有錯。

    He was bloody scared, and at meanwhile he couldn't move.

    要加at,這句在這裡結束。

    He couldn't move anything.

    句點。

    Later on, [a sudden,] she flew away from the window like smoke suddenly. [and things like that.]

    suddenly 放到結尾比較好,也建議你把and things like that拿掉,雖然文法沒錯但怪怪的。

    what about yours?

    The house where we lived was built about 100 years ago and quite

    Victorian.

    句點。

    okay the house is located in Charton which is a small town in London. 這裡用which 比較恰當。

    It was named have you seen a phost? by the way

    這句文法太怪了0.0 我看不懂,還有你是要說ghost吧呵呵呵

    可能沒有改的很完整,但希望有幫到你喔=)

    2009-03-01 09:37:49 補充:

    yea i knew that you meant ghost, but still don't quite get the last sentence with a strange grammar 0.0

    nah never did, but i think i believe in that lol

    is it your experience above? or it's just an essay?

    2009-03-01 13:14:30 補充:

    No, although "keep on" means "繼續" in chinese as well, we don't use that awkwardly here in englih. Just say "keep looking at him", it's better.

    2009-03-01 13:14:41 補充:

    you can check the link below

    http://www.google.com/search?hl=zh-TW&q=keep+on+lo...

    http://www.google.com/search?q=keep+looking+at&hl=...

    not one really use "keep on looking at", but "keep looking at"

    2009-03-01 13:14:48 補充:

    And yea sure you can use "a sudden" as well, it's just awkward if you use it here although the grammar is not incorrect.

    cheers budi!

    2009-03-02 12:13:25 補充:

    [*corrected: no one really use "keep on looking at", but "keep looking at"]

    Source(s): mE+
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