boyfriend talking to the girl?

I have a boyfriend of 6 yrs who i live with and we have a 3 yr old son together(my 11 yr old daughter lives with us, as well) First and foremost, his family deems him a pathological liar...Last night i was on the laptop at MIDNITE and he was asleep and i heard his phone keep vibrating so i went over there to check and sure enough it was this girl...he has a new number now and he said she got it from his customers(I doubt that)I have had problems with this girl before and she came to my door and we talked and she assured me nothing was going on, strictly platonic..they have know each other for 9 years..I told her i feel uneasy and i do not wnat them to talk anymore..she agreed and he agreed...then i find out last night, they are still talking...i texted her back and told her she could have him in the a.m. cuz i will be breaking up with him..she texted me back and said pls dont he loves you, he cheerish the family and he would be devasted if you two were not together..i texted her back and said he does not love me, he is lieing to me..that is not love..she told me after 2 more texts that if i cant see it, then i am a demented co dependent *****..next text all men lie she said...i told my boyfriend that i feel very uneasy with their friendship and he said fine, she does not mean anything to me anyways...he has said that b4 and then they are talking again...I am 36 yr old and do not wnat to put up with these childidh lying games...he told me he lied to save my feelings because they do not talk that often and he did not want me to get sooo mad for really no reason...I have dealt with him going to jail twice for 60 days one time and a month, the other time over driving on a habitual license..I have put up with a lot and i am still dealing with this...even my dad and family says you cant have friends that the other does not approve of...you need to have the same friends and go out as a couple...please tell me what you think..i am so over this bullshit

Update:

i feel even more upset that she called me a co dependent *****...

14 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think you should break up with him, he's obviously lying to you. That can't be a good relationship if he lies to you just to save your feelings. Don't worry about what the girl said to you, a lot of times people call others what they really are.

    If he really loved you then he would have asked you to marry him. i mean 6 six years is a long time to just to be boyfriend and girlfriend.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think his families assessment of a pathological liar is correct, and after six years with him I'm sure you can confirm that also. I seriously doubt this other woman doesn't mean anything to him. Why would he keep in contact with her if she doesn't mean anything to him? He's a liar, and a very immature one too. I have doubts that will change.

    You seem to be a sensible, caring person. You've given your partner more than his fair share of chances to get his act together, and you're getting lies and cheating in return. You deserve more than you're receiving in this relationship....and so do the children.

    You have two choices #1 Continue in the relationship, which has no

    chance of ever becoming a happy positive environment for you or your children. #2 Terminate the relationship, and sever all ties with him, only

    allowing contact for child support and visitation.

    Your only 36 years old ( just a baby yet! kidding) there is plenty of time to find Mr. Right and get treated with the love, happiness and respect you deserve. You will be an even more loving, affection Mother

    when your treated that way, and your children deserve that, do it for them to.

    Good Luck

    God Bless

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  • 1 decade ago

    For what I have read, you really haven't asked a question. You are living with a man who is a known liar which you have had to bail out of jail twice and your only concern is that another woman called you co-dependant. You have issues that you must address. I would suggest that you take a good long look in the mirror and ask yourself is this the kind of life your want for your children.

    Source(s): **** MILDRED SENT ME HERE TO HELP YOU****
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hmm, I have to wonder if after 6 years you don't have enough evidence to support ending this relationship. If his family thinks he is a habitual liar, and you find that to be true, if he's going behind your back with 'her' and he's been breaking the law (he's a bit anti-social isn't he?). umm, I get the impression he's a real catch (for the cops), and this is not setting a healthy example for your children.

    You're a good looking lady and you are still young. You have way too many options than to be stuck in this mess. You deserve to be happy and your kids deserve some 'sanity' and stability in their lives.

    You know what to do.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well sorry to tell you dear but your family is wrong. You and your boyfriend are entitled to have personal friends in addition to your couple friends, there is no law that says when you are in a relationship that the only friends you can have are the ones your partner is friends with as well.

    Now your boyfriend is wrong for lying to you about his friendship, but that is the only thing I can see that you have the right to be mad over. Unless you have something else that you are not telling us, I am inclined to believe the other lady when she said it is platonic.

    You say that at 36 you don't want to "put up with these childish lying games" but dear you are playing childish games as well by going through your boyfriend's phone while he is sleeping and then on top of that you texted the girl which is something you had no business doing. Talk about games, well you my dear are playing your fair share of them.

    I can understand why he lied to you about talking to her. I would have done the same thing if you put the same orders to me that you did to him.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    well its tough, my wife of 5 yrs has been talking to a old HS friend, then one day she said she wanted a divorce, and well guess what now she is dating the guy she went to HS with. So you need to really find out whats going on, if this dont stop, sorry to say you need to move with your life, Iam 40 now and waiting for divorce papers and while she is out having fun with her old HS friend. So look what has happend to me even though your not married, same thing can happen to you, he can walk anytime or just go out and have his fun while your home.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think sometimes we feel stuck by love or the commitment to our children to have their father. This man is lying to you and his so called friend showed no respect to you or him or she would not have answered you or got involved. BTW I know of men who cheat on their wife's and their gf's tell the wife they r friends. I think you need to go to counseling with this man and on your own and work out what is true what is not and what you should do. Than remember you are a hot mama of 2 and any man should cherish you and treat you as you do him.

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  • 1 decade ago

    He hasn't been right to you for a long time. Guys can have female friends, but they don't hide them from their Sig O's! And, um, "co-dependent?" That would mean he is a "dependent." So, she is throwing out words that she can't even define since she cannot use them in correct context... Dump the guy, let him have his truck-stop waitress genius and you find a guy that would love you and your children and treat y'all right.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i cant believe you are putting up with this at 36!!! thats insane. u know what to do,leave the guy. hes worthless and just a cheater,if there was nothing going on then you guys shouldve dont double dates or he would have had her over for dinner with you home,but instead he sneaks behind your back. open your eyes and realize he dont care.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    feel reassured that her co-dependant line made no sense with the actual situation so clearly she is just a **** who tried to say somthing cleaver and failed xx

    as for whats going on, i wouldnt accept it, nor should you, he should respect your feelings as your partner

    im not meaning this in a bad way towards you but

    if he really loved you and cared about you his relationship with this other girl would be easily thrown out

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