Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Why is it assumed that fathers want custody in order to avoid paying child support?

I came across this claim, again, in a recently posted question:

"My ex-husband and I have one daughter together and he is fighting for custody so he doesn't have to pay child support."

Any attorney representing a father would have told him that according to the Federal Office of Child Support Enforcement, less than 15% of non-custodial mothers are ordered to pay child support, of which only 5% ever pay it.

Just who will be providing for the support of the child while in the custody of the father? Further, up to 10% of custodial fathers are still ordered to pay child support. Only custodial mothers are guaranteed a child support order, so wouldn't that say that mothers are the ones wanting custody because they get child support?

I know this will raise some hackles, but the facts are the facts. Personal, I go for no child support paid to either parent and the children getting joint physical custody of the parents.

14 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I kept the kids and declined support from her but it wasn't to avoid paying.

    You're right.

    It takes two and they both have to put up 100%, 100% of the time.

    Source(s): ~The Fat Man
  • 1 decade ago

    The way I see it....most guys that have to pay support, get raked over the coals.....drastically. If there were a reasonable amount being paid, and not an amount putting the father in dire straights, things would be better.

    I currently have custody of my son, and the mother pays nothing. BUT, if she were to get the child in custody, there is no doubt I would have to file for bankruptcy. You tell me.

  • 5 years ago

    She should see if she can have the child support lessened because she's not working, is the first thing. However, if you have a marriage date and are really going to get married, then I don't think it's wrong of you not to pay for her other kid right now. When you actually ARE married, however, then I do think it's wrong. Being married doesn't involve "his" and "her" bank accounts like that. You take on each other's joys and skills, but also each other's obligations. I mean, she's a stay-at-home mom right now because she is raising YOUR 6-month-old kid, and she doesn't have the money because she's a stay-at-home mom. Marriage tangles lives, the good parts and the bad. Um, I think you need to accept that if you marry this lady she has every right to expect that you'll share in her responsibilities. Think of it this way: if you buy a house with her after you're married, and you lose your job, it would be completely crazy for her to expect you to make half the mortgage payment each month. Your debts are hers, and you guys are a team who support each other and think in terms of "ours" instead of "yours" and "mine." So I think she's right that you have to share this responsibility, too, even though it seems screwy (I mean, I do see your point, after all). But only after you're married, not yet. I think you can do so now as a good gesture because you love this woman and the child support is a hardship for her at the moment, with a new child and all, but I don't think you necessarily have to pay it. Oh, also? If you haven't set a marriage date and you guys happen to be in that category of "forever engaged," well, then you should be upfront about that. She has a right to expect that the man she is going to spend her life with is going to be willing to make it formal and help with her debts as well as share in her joys.

  • 1 decade ago

    Been a single parent for over 11 years now..I have financially paid out far more monies over the last 11 years than I ever recieved in child support..I made much less than the other party but still did more for my children in a the long run..custodial parents pay much higher amount of taking care of the children than those who pay child support..end of discussion. One has to add up, housing supplies..special events..educational..basically children are very expensive to raise today..child support only covers a percentage of actually cost.

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  • Tink
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    If you read the petitions that have been filed in the last 8 years since my divorce, every one of them filed by my ex was about his not paying child support. There was nothing filed about getting the kids unless he included not paying any support in his motions. The situation is different for everyone. You can't label every case the same.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Just because you know that doesn't mean some men with bad motives do. When a man has had no interaction with the child, a CS issue is filed and suddenly he files for custody, it's pretty obvious what his motives are.

    You don't hesitate to call out evil moms. Don't be blind to dads who have evil motives.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Historically custody has been given to the mother unless the father made a strong case for custody. Your question appears to assume that this is a larger belief than it may be. A single case does not a trend make.


  • 1 decade ago

    I agree with you. I don't think fathers get a fair deal when it comes to most child custody cases. Sure, there are dead beat dads out there...but there are a lot of dead beat moms, too. For some reason, nobody ever wants to talk about them.

  • 1 decade ago

    I agree 100%. Fathers get the short end of the stick in a lot of situations. Judges afraid of taking a child from their mother, but have no problem taking them from the father.

  • Teenie
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You wouldn't think that if you were able to bear children yourself.Our only concern is for our children not the money like you seem to think it is. My Ex gave me 20 dollars a week for child support that's all he could afford so that was fine by me. We kept the courts out of it and handled it ourselves.You sir definitely have a big problem with women.

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