My boyfriend slept with a stripper 3 days before we started dating... I can't get over it! Help!!!?
So here's the story... I met my boyfriend while he was in my hometown on a poker trip. I was his bartender and he asked me out. We have been together ever since. Well, the first night I met him, I overheard him on the phone with a friend telling them about some slut that he had slept with a few nights prior. I still went out with him anyway knowing this because #1) free basketball playoff ticket and #2) I knew I wouldn't sleep with him anyway so I figured what the hell. Well, as I said, we have been together ever since. I know that he loves me and all his friends and family tell me he has never even dated a girl long enough to be this serious and that they have never seen him so in love and happy. I am in love too, but the problem is that the conversation I overheard about him sleeping with someone never left my mind. I had asked him several times before to explain who the girl was and he would just reply with "I was drunk and don't really remember." So finally, after almost a year, I demanded he tell me the truth. He ended up telling me that he went to a strip club with his poker buddy and a stripper came home with them. Since his friend fell asleep, he drunkenly had sex with her. He says they never spoke again and he didn't give her money nor did he even get her number. Like I said, this incident happened a few days before I even met him. The problem is that my entire perception of my boyfriend has changed now. I broke up with him, but now don't know if I should take him back because I really do love him with all my heart and know he loves me. Does anyone else have a similar situation? Even though it happened before we met, I can't look at him the same and I can't look at myself the same. It makes me feel like less of a person that he would sleep with someone like that. Any advice would be much appreciated as I can't sleep or eat and am very upset over the whole thing. Will I get over it eventually? HELP!!! Thank you!
To some of the responses, I guess what I'm saying is that maybe it doesn't matter if she was a stripper or a waitress, but it's the fact that I feel he was on this trip to play poker and to get ***... and I just happened to not give him any!
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Listen would you be so upset if it had been a bartender he slept with? Strippers are human beings like the rest of us and just because this girl was a stripper doesn't mean she was a prostitute!!!
Your bf had a one night stand - like nearly everyone does at some stage in their lives. Have you ever had one?
You are being prejudice about that girl's occupation. Do you even know her story? Perhaps she was stripping to support a family? Maybe that was the first time she did soemthing like that and has never done it again!
What's more what your bf did before he met you is none of your business! Does he question you about your past "encounters"?
I think you are sabotaging your own happiness.
Put this behind you. Your bf just did what almost everyone does and he did nothing wrong. Most men would tell you to go screw yourself for making such a big deal of this and for questioning him about his past so he obviously loves you.
Do WHATEVER you need to do to get over this. Then call your bf and make-up with him.
Do not sit in judgement of others. I am sure you are no angel and have done things you wish you hadn't. Would you like your bf (or anyone else) to judge you for them?
- MichelleLv 44 years ago
Wow. So what she is gay. She has a vagina, she is a woman. Period. What is that supposed to do,take you off the trail..? She is a pro and is used to dealing with jealous girlfriends. She of course will lie because, read between the lines. She said she is about getting money. e gave her $200.00 dollars. Oh really? He has money to spend on other woman. Does he spend money on you like that? The truth hurts but he has found an interest. What matters now is what do you choose to do about it. He is crying because he is an actor and a drama king. Yes males can be dramatic, emotional and manipulative too. I would play dead to catch flies. What I mean by this is to shut it down. Do nt mention it. forgive him. Watch his face book, his phone etc, but do not let him know what you are are doing. "Keep an eye on what is going on. Dont let him know. Be quiet about it . Now if you catch him still cheating then , you do what is best .. Move on. It may hurt but in the long run, if this cheating is something that you don't welcome then unfortunately he is not for you. also keep in mind that those girls may not be "clean", have STD's etc. I mean you just don't know. I tis not a safe practice. He is not worth jeopardizing your health and life for.
- 1 decade ago
Are you a "Blond"? Do you truly believe that drunkenly, since his friend fell asleep, he has sexual relationship with the stripper. The stripper part is irrelevant. All the person had to be was female.... at lest I say that they had to be female, you did say he stated he was in a drunken state... For all he can remember, he may have slept with the friend that went to sleep. You can call me a stripper, sleep with me, and then feel as if you got the better of him. Just call....
- 1 decade ago
Weeeell, i dont really know if this is gonna help you or not, im 13 dont expect much. When you guys broke up, was he really trying to get you back? I had a situation with my dad, but not like this. I caught him watching porn in his room and i was really mad about it. Ofcourse, i havent confronted him about it. It really hurt me deeply and i never expected it would happen. I was so proud of my dad and i didnt think he would do such a thing. It was really awkward talking to him and really hard to stop thinking about it. Whenever he wants to be alone in his room all i think about is "yea.. go watch your porn" it never ever stops coming in my head. Just recently, i went for confession and i told the priest about my problem. He told me, that it was ok, he understood my pain. I was literally crying. He said that i shouldn't think of him as some stupid person who doesnt have any use to my life now and i shouldnt ignore him, cause it would hurt more. You dont know, maybe he was regretting the whole thing. O_O, i got it out. xD well, what i think is that you should try to listen to him. Just try asking him if he regrets it, or if he ever thought that it truly hurt you. If he really loves you, he will try anything just to get you back. If not, its worthless. Take time, and see if hes worth it. Ask him if he thought of it as a mistake or not. Its hard i know, till now im trying to fight my problem. Past is past, dont mess with it cause it will ruin the future. =) Hope i helped! (first question i answered)Source(s): My feelings. xD
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
In my experience, if you fall in love with someone, you have to accept they have a past. I have had 3 serious relationships, and although I have questioned them on their past, I haven't really taken any of it in. What really matters is the here and now. Most men have had one night stands and you have to accept it. If he really loves you, he won't do it again. And just because the girl is a stripper, it doesn't mean she is a slut or a lesser person.
My advice is if you really love him, tell him what you feel. Try to get back with him again, and forget the past!
By the way I once dated a guy, whose family told me he was besotted with me and he dumped me! It's a funny world ...
- leticiaLv 43 years ago
That's an interesting question!
- 1 decade ago
He loves you and you love him
He slept with her before he even met you
If he had asked you out then slept with her that would be different
But breaking up with someone because of their past is silly because they can't change whats in their past and either can you so you don't want someone to break your heart because you did something when u were young
- Anonymous1 decade ago
oh come on!!!! We 've all had drunken flings and done things we regret - you included Im sure.
So he slept with a stripper - big deal!!!! he said it was a mistake - there you go. You're making a far bigger mistake by letting the guy you love go - over something that happened in his past - before he even knew you!!!
- 1 decade ago
I understand it's always on your mind, but you can't hang him for something he did in the past. Like you said, it was BEFORE you. And how could your ENTIRE perception of him have changed if you knew about it from the VERY BEGINNING? I honestly think you're being unfair. You love him, he loves you... let it go. It's not like he cheated on you- now THAT, would be unforgivable.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
No one has a similar situation, because anyone dumb enough to stay with a guy like that has dies from being so stupid.Source(s): I was filming him and the stripper