Am I wrong for making my sons join the church choir ?

My sons have good singing voices and I made them join church choir, I found out today that when I drop them off they have been going to the playground til its over. They really want to play football, but I told them if they don't at least try choir for a month then they don't get to be on the football team. They are always singing around the house so I know they like to sing. Their excuse was that it's boring, their the only boys, and that its stupid. I just want them to give it a shot, I don't want them to have regrets when their older. I want them to try every opportunity that comes their way, especially when I know they could be good at it. I'm a single mom so its hard to always be the bad guy. What would u do, am I being hard on them ?

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  • <3
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If they don't want to do it why are you making them? I don't think you should make them be in a choir if they don't want to.

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  • Violet
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    If you make them join the choir when they obviously don't want to, it will take away their joy in singing. Music is not something that should be forced on kids. It is a way of expressing oneself, being creative, and having fun. If they ever have a desire to sing with a group, they will find one - whether it be a school choir, a community group, or just a garage band. If singing is something they want to pursue formally, they will let you know. If not, that's OK too. Music is a lifetime activity. They can take it up if and when they choose. For now, let them play football with the team and sing at home for their own enjoyment.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Perhaps if you told them they had to do something music-related, whether it's choir or a musical (which they'd likely find a lot less boring and a lot more fun) or taking music lessons for an instrument so they can sing along.

    Don't be afraid to insist on having some sort of music education in their lives, even if they hate it. Personally, I hated my piano lessons, but then in high school (a year or two after I stopped them) I discovered Coldplay, and got some of their sheet music, fell in love with it, and have now been playing piano for 13-14 years and decided all those lessons were worth it. Plus, I recently bought a guitar, and started playing that as well... and, regardless of your gender, playing a musical instrument or singing will greatly increase your ability to pick up the opposite sex, as I happily discovered =P

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  • 1 decade ago

    I very much doubt that they will look back with regret over singing in a choir ..If they are not going to stay it is actually dangerous for them to be wandering alone ..don't you think ..it sounds to me like you are trying too hard ,the boys want to play football ,let them..maybe later they will do something along the singing lines ...the choir is just not the right fit for them.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Yes. You are making them, so they are rebelling. Let them play football! They are BOYS. Boys don't DO Choir. Girls do. They SING what they like to sing, not choir music. Of course it's BORING. They are the only boys, and yes..it's stupid to be the only boys in a group full of women! They already have regrets. That wasn't an "Opportunity" that was a "Forced Opportunity". Let them enjoy their own hobbies not one they are forced into.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My older daughter has an amazing voice. But never ask her to sing on command. She will sing when she wants to and if she doesn't want to, she won't and nothing you can do will make her change her mind. Just ask her grandfather who has been begging her for years. She has been in numerous choirs and choruses and plays and finally decided one day she had enough.

    If a child does not want to do something, they will find every and any excuse to get out of it. And if they have regrets when they are older, well, that is for them to deal with and you can always say "I told you so."

    Making deals never works. Let them try out for football and save yourself a lot of anguish and aggravation. I learned that lesson the hard way.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Maybe you could suggest a different kind of group if they like singing, but making them join choir is definitely out of line. Say that you like to read, would you want your parents making you join a book club when you just like to do it for fun?

    Regrets when they are older for not joining a choir when they are kids? You make it sound like they are choosing to do drugs, they just think choir is stupid and they don't want to do it. What about that do you not get?

    You aren't wrong for suggesting it to them, or saying you'd love for them to be in it, but do you want your child to be a part of something that they don't care for?

    What is the point of making them try it out for a month, just so they can waste time after school for a whole month just so they can quit after that?

    Time is something you can never get back, if they already went for a couple days and didn't like it and skipped out to go to the playground, then that may be a hint that they don't want to be there.

    It isn't like school where they have to go to get an education, it is a hobby that you have to have interest in.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I LOVE singing but I HATE choirs and singing classes because 1 I hate being the oldest there 2, I don't like being seen singing and 3. I find it boring OH and 4, I hate when people tell me what to sing, my mom never FORCED me to choirs and such and I did them now I hate them..let your kids decide what they want to do with their gifts.

    Source(s): I'm 14
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  • 1 decade ago

    This is where an investment of the time you don't have is vital.

    They have to want it. That means you be more persuasive and less pushy. Nothing is more important than teachig your children the difference between right and wrong. One might call that THE unforgivable sin.

    But the teacher teaches when the student learns. And what they are learning now is to defy you by acting falsely. Time to back off the confrontation and figure some new angles.

    Suggestions--let them go to football if they agree to equal time with choir--let one go to football while the other goes to choir (and they have to figure out who does what--should be something stressful and learning for both).

    But what is happening right now is unacceptable and obviously they don't think you have the power to enforce your will. (And they are probably right)

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  • If they dont want to do it then dont make them do it. Let them play football if you dont then they are not gonna regret not singing in choir they will resent you for not letting them play football. I dont mean that to sound rude, thats just the truth.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    yes you are

    just because they can sing, doesnt mean theyl want to sing in a chior

    they wont regret not singing in the church chior. they will resent when there mother made them do something they hate insted of something they enjoy

    i dont think you should push them to do something they dont want to do

    your like a stage mum

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