What do you think about this short story?

My teacher assigned us other people's stories and we have to write our opionions. What's your opinion...what would you rate it??


My heart was pounding out of my chest. I knew that today was the day. I was prepared for everything, but wasn’t ready for anything. As I got dropped off for school I waved goodbye to my mom and walked over to my friends, like I always did. School seemed to go by extra slowly, but when the bell rang I almost wanted it to go on longer. I was waiting for busses to be dismissed and the butterflies in my stomach were going crazy. I planned everything out, this wasn’t like a test that I would study for in homeroom and hope to pull off a “B” on. If I didn’t get a 100% on this then I would be caught and I would have to live 4 more years of torture. This wasn’t another cliché runaway that you see kids try to do in the movies and then they’d come home after an hour. No, this was something that I planned for at least 4 months and had everything worked out to a tee.

It was the last day before Christmas Break and my parents thought they I was going to be going to the Bahamas for a week with my friend, Savannah. I told them that there was no cellular connection there and that I would try to find a pay phone or something that I would be able to talk to them with and not to worry. Also, I tried to impound in their head not to try calling because there’s no connection, without it being obvious that I don’t want them to call. But just incase, I gave them fake phone numbers. I was carrying $4,000 cash and was hoping to find a job first thing when I got to New York. I broke my computer because I know that they can search through your history, and I didn’t want anyone to know what cities I was thinking about going to and what ideas I had in my head. Obviously, I had to get rid of my cell phone because they can track that. I had nothing, but necessities in my backpack and I was prepared and confident that I had a great chance of completely starting over.

My life wasn’t bad, but I didn’t like it here. I just imagined living my life like everyone else in my small town and realized how horrible it would be. It was almost scary how much everyone did everything the same. It was different faces, but the same life. If I didn’t get out of this town now, I wasn’t ever. The only people that would get out was the star football players, and for the past five years we haven’t had any star football players. I’ve always known that I’m not just another average teenage girl, and I’m happy about that. The kids here are robots. They’re programmed to think things about life, school, and how to act. I’m not happy here and no one understands that. I know I won’t miss anything when I leave. My friends are just people that you carry on conversations with, the teachers are just living computers, and the adults are like a gossip magazine, filled with lies. I don’t know how I’ve lived here for 14 years anyway.

As I was getting on to the bus that I know dropped off kids next to a local grocery store and strip mall, I sat down and was just starting to think about life. How mine was so boring compared to other kids my age. How my life was going to change so much in just a couple of days. When we came to the stop I got off and went directly to the hairstyle store, Super Styles, and knew exactly what style I was going for. I had short brown hair with ugly orange highlights. So the almost complete opposite would be long dirty blonde hair. I looked so different but actually okay. I didn’t want anyone to recognize me. If I’m going to start over that means new look, name, and thought of mind. I left and then got onto a real bus. It would take me to the city that never sleeps and I would finally start over new. When I got there it was like I was being reborn. It was a whole new scenery. It was a movie moment and I felt like the star. I would definitely find a way to work this out.

As days turned into to months into years my perspective changed on life. Maybe my parents lived there because it’s the easy way out. There’s no troubles or problems, but there’s also no happiness and liveliness, and I’ll take the problems that life throws at me with a smile on my face before I ever go back to that life. I’m finally living my life, and I will never let anyone tell me how ever again.

8 Answers

  • hobo
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Did you just post someone else's story on the internet? or is this your own? I wouldn't go around posting other people's stories on the internet. That's just not cool.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    On a scale of 1-10:

    7. It's pretty well-written. It's good.

  • 1 decade ago

    Unfortunately, for you and maybe even for us, the teacher didn't assign US other people's stories, so therefore we DON'T have to write our opinions.

    The teacher probably assigned this to you for a reason. Why post and ask other people to do your homework for you? You're worth more than a stranger's idiosyncratic response and besides this is your chance to voice YOUR opinion and rate it as YOU would.

  • 1 decade ago

    That was a great story, i would rate it a 5 :) ! keep up the good work.

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  • 1 decade ago

    It's kind of plain. Nothing exciting really happens. (and yea

    i know its a short story and all)

    The last paragraph killed it.

    Its too wordy, it doesn't explain

    WHY or HOW her perspective on life changed.

  • 4 years ago

    "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." - supposedly by Hemmingway.

  • 1 decade ago

    Awful.cliche.and extremely dumb.lot of work to go if you ever want to be decent.

  • 1 decade ago

    Pretty good, but wat is it for?? Maybe work on it a little bit more!

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