Im so scared about my wedding! Its traditional punjabi and I have no idea what to expect! HELP!!!?

My bf proposed recently and Im so happy, but its just occurred to me that his family and him expect there to be a fullscale Sihk punjabi wedding back in india (he's indian, Im australian).

We're young, and we cant afford to have a wedding here in aus and another in india. The flights and gifts for everyone will send us broke even if his family payed for the actual wedding.

I always had this dream for a simple, elegant small scale wedding. Im not big on being the centre of attention so much, and I always imagined just close friends and family, and a really beautiful, personal ceremony. I come from a pretty modern kind of family too, and Im not overly fussed with tradition, and I am not especially religious.

But in India his family is big, and well known so the wedding could easily be 300+ people, it will be like 5 days of celebration, lots of religion, lots of ancient traditions and nothing 'understated' about it.

And worst of all, these people are all strangers to me! Iv never met them because Iv never been to india to visit any of them before. Iv been studying. Maybe my mother and little sister will fly to india to be there, but my friends are students or just starting work, and the rest of my family probably dont have the financial means to fly across the world for a week. Im going to be basically alone. Traditionally I wont be with my fiance before the ceremony, and we definately wont be alone together at all with so many people around.

What the hell am I suppose to do? Im petrified of being alone and in india with strangers. I dont spek the language and I really dont understand lots of the traditions. Im so stressed Im going to offend someone accidently.

How am I going to enjoy my wedding at all? And how can my dream wedding compete with thousands of years tradition and the expectation of an entire family...and culture???

3 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    take a deep breath and talk to your fiance - I think traditionally the brides family pays for a lot of the wedding/celebration expenses, but given that your family doesn't live in India and the large celebration is most important to his family then perhaps they are planning to cover most of the costs - you should be clear about that. Especially since, given that they seem so well connected, the guest list could quite easily exceed 300. (my friend just got married in September - they ended up with well over 400...and she thought it was going to be small)

    does he have a sister you can talk to...or a female cousin?

    it would help greatly if they could talk you through what happens

    there are also a couple of websites that do a good job of explaining the different steps....do a google search for Sikh wedding

    definitely have at least your mom go with you - otherwise you may end up feeling lost

    finally - your dream wedding doesn't have to compete - it will be the one YOU remember forever - and it will be nice later to be able to tell your children how you honored your own dreams and your husbands tradition

    congratulations and good luck

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    dont bother - nobody in India expects you to know much.

    the flight cost for u and your small family is not that much, for an important event as a wedding. Either you dont think its a priority, OR - if you really cannot afford that then you must categorise every other priority based on the financial position

    you can do what you imagine in a wedding in Australia and since there will be 2 weddings you can discuss the costs in advance with yoir husband and make your budget. Unless you want a lavish australian white christian wedding and expect your husband to pay half and then say that - oh i cant contribute for a lavish indian brown sikh wedding

    so what if your alone with strangers in india - just follow simple rules and smile at everyone - and then come back to whetre you belong - Australia

  • 4 years ago

    sounds like fun! i love casual beach weddings! hippies: always reminds me of beaded necklaces and flowers in the hair and bell bottom jeans with sandals! youngsters with faces painted! the new 'baby doll' style tops are really just an updated hippie style so you could outfit your kids easily! flowers? daisies! lots of daisies! how about a bonfire complete with hot dogs, marshmallows and pop/beer? sitting around the fire with guitars and song! everything just laid back and casual! have a wonderful wedding!

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