.
Lv 6
. asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 1 decade ago

What do you think about feminists who make homemakers and mothers out to be bad people?

I can't stand this radical type of feminism that makes women who want to be stay at home mothers and homemakers out to be bad people. I'm tired of these crazy women saying that it's pathetic that I want to be a mother above anything else, and that I'm stupid because my goal in life isn't to make thousands of dollars a year and have a "rewarding" professional career of my own. I'm a traditionalist, and I believe the man should be the head of the household and the main breadwinner.

Does anyone else hold this view anymore? Or am I the only one who would like to hold on to this way of life?

Thanks. And please, no rude answers. You're entitled to your opinions but you don't have to be jerks about it.

Update:

I definitely feel that stay at home mother's should have an alternative career to fall back on. That's why I'm going to college now so I will have a degree if I ever need to use it. I'll most likely never live the SAHM lifestyle because of the economy though. It's a shame.

Update 2:

I would not be a leech off my husband, seeing that when we marry I will hold a master's degree.

That being said, if it was possible for me to have children and not have to work, of course I would do that. That doesn't make me completely dependent on him. That just means I contribute to the household in a way besides invovling money.

Update 3:

Note the use of "radical type of feminism"

Update 4:

I have met more than my share of radical feminists in my lifetime, and I do not need to give you their names and phone numbers to make you satisified. I certainly didn't google this, or use radical feminism as a scapegoat. I wouldn't have brought this up if it hadn't been an issue in my own life.

22 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I have no respect for them whatsoever. And evidently feminists have a problem with men being the head of the household (they will paint father heads as abusers where they can) but have no problem advocating the opposite.

    Source(s): Anti-feminist
  • 1 decade ago

    I think its very wrong for any feminist to say another woman (or man's) choice of lifestyle is wrong. I can't stand the radical feminists who claim that traditional women are "bad" or "wrong" or "pathetic." I think those feminists do a great disservice to the idea of feminism and give regular, level-headed feminists a bad name.

    Personally, I'm a feminist who does want a rewarding professional career. I'm not traditional nor do I think the man should be the head of the household. However, I fully recognize that MY choice of lifestyle is not everyone's choice. If a woman wants to be a stay-at-home-mother, that is her choice and I wish her the best. Its not an easy job and it takes a strong individual to do it.

    However, I do think I should note that while I am very open to personal choice, you should be as well. I do not make the same choices as you but that doesn't mean I'm any less of an individual or woman. I have nothing against you holding to that way of life, as you put it, but I would hope and expect that you would have nothing against me for NOT holding to that way of life.

    I think we should all be tolerant of others personal choices and not be judgmental or condescending.

  • 1 decade ago

    There's nothing wrong with your decision. It is just sometimes you never know what will happen in your marriage. How if your husband really sick and disabled, and he can not make anymore money? How if he suddenly died? Or how if he leave you? And you don't know anything about working, or don't have any work experience?

    I think women in this century has to balance their motherhood-family life with career. You CAN be a good mother and wife and having a career on the same time.

  • Scatta
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I don't understand any of these people who think they know how other people should lead their lives. Any other people. What are they omniscient? Good grief I wish people would just stop with the trying to control everyone else and imposing their opinions on how others should or should not live. If someone wants to stay home and take care of their kids, awesome. If they want to be a construction worker, awesome. If they want to hire a nanny, awesome. If they want to be a biologist in the Antarctic, fantastic. We need more people who contribute to the knowledge base and workforce and caretaking of children, we certainly don't need everyone telling everyone else what to do with their lives. It's a complete lack of respect to judge other people's lives.

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  • 1 decade ago

    May I ask who this radical feminist was that said this to you?

    (And please don't dig one up, I'd like to see where you got this impression from before doing a google search)

    I'm guessing, but could be wrong, that this is merely your perception of radical feminism and not actually anything you've experienced, read, etc, first hand.

    In fact, it's entirely possible that your perception did not come from radical (or otherwise) feminists affirmative statements about this issue at all, rather, you probably heard some anti-feminist idiot claiming that this is what feminists (radical or otherwise) believe.

    It's not.

    Granted, there may very well be a few fringe radical fems who have said something to this effect, but I guarantee the number is decidedly smaller than the number of people who believe that this is what feminists (radical even) believe. But because that number is so small, it's why I have a very hard time believing that you've met one, and even if you had, that small number also makes me wonder why their extremely minority view holds any impact on your life what so ever.

    Source(s): Is there any safer scapegoat for self-doubt regarding lifestyle than Radical feminists? If there is, I haven't seen it. And which dogma would that be Cassius? How convenient. I wonder if these people who you claim to have experienced this with were wearing their radical feminist name tags. We get them free with membership y'know, along with mock penises. Be aware you are guilty of your own accusation. Find me one, just one, even on google (good luck) who says SAHM's are "bad people" "pathetic" "Stupid". Otherwise, stop exaggerating and own up to the fact that your ideas are coming from nowhere but thin air.
  • 1 decade ago

    It doesn't make any sense if these types of people are really about a woman's right to choose. If I choose to be super traditional and have the 3 kids and a golden retriever in my white picket back yard, why does that make me a bad person? If I choose to focus on a career and marry late in life and not have any children, it doesn't make any better than I am. The right to choose your path is supposed to be what feminism is all about, options. Unless you choose their options, however, you aren't serving any purpose and must be repressed.

  • Lúta
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I'm more of a traditionalist too but I'd like to be able to support myself if something happens to my husband. My neighbour growing up had to do odd jobs because she didn't have an education and her husband left her for another woman. She struggled to make ends meet and was reduced to selling her house. I don't want to be in a situation like that. I want to have a career that I can fall back on if something happens.

  • 1 decade ago

    Yea, I definitely see a lot of anti-feminists do this, bitching about lazy women who leech off of men and get alimony, etc. Feminists who dislike it mostly dislike it because of bad experiences with their overdependent mothers, so they assume all SAHM are helpless like that, when really its not true.

    Anyway, it's fine to be a homemaker and I know a few people who want to be homemakers, none who think men are the "head of the household" though, aka in charge of all decisions. Most homemaking women I know are heads of the household and have authority just as much as men. But either way I suppose.

  • 1 decade ago

    that was a whole lot to read, and i did not read the whole thing, so excuse my answer for not being as thorough as you would've liked.

    i just think that any feminist who judges and ridicules women based on their decisions (to marry, stay at home, raise children, etc.) aren't helping feminism in any way.

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't like it one bit.

    I'm a feminist who stayed home with her kids, so if it's against some kind of feminist code that I was a SAHM, then I wouldn't even want to be a part of it!!!

    It was MY choice, they are MY children and I refuse to make apologies for MY life..

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It's ridiculous...just as I think the idea of traditional homemakers laying guilt trips or putting down career women is ridiculous, too.

    A lot of that "feminists hate homemakers" propoganda actually started in the late 1970s from Phyllis Schalafly and others in the "Stop ERA" movement. Back then, that group was determined to keep the Equal Rights Amendment from passing..and they would stop at nothing to obtain their goals. They just loved to make outrageous claims about how "feminists were destroying America" and how the ERA would force women to go to into combat and we'd have unisex bathrooms ... and they'd go on and on about how allegedly feminists put down SAHMS and of course when all this stuff got out in the media, some women got very insulted...and ever since then the media in general and women's magazines in particular will drag out that dead horse and beat it over and over again. Why do they do that? Because it WORKS...nothing like a little drama and pseudo-controversy to boost ratings and sell magazines

    It shocks me to see that even after 30 years, this whole "mommy wars" crap in the media is still going on...the funny thing here is 20 years down the road, most people look back and ask themselves "why did that matter so much? was it really worth arguing and defending?"

    Besides, MEN never have to justify their life choices...why should women? People who do stuff like that are really just insecure about their own positions or they feel the need to validate their choices with others...and there are insecure, emotionally immature people in both the feminists and traditionalist camps. One is as as bad as the other.

    In reality, no one, feminist or otherwise, should be making important and highly personal life decisions based on whatever the "trend" is reported in some magazine or due to some sort of peer pressure from friends or aquaintences.

    There are feminists who are also full-time homemakers. There are plenty of "traditional" conservative women who hold down full time careers and even choose not to marry and have children.

    A TRUE feminist (not just some egghead hiding in academia or a talking head claiming to be a feminist) believes that each woman has the right to determine her life's path for herself, and if she wants to be a full time homemaker, fine. If she wants a career rather than being a wife and mother, that's fine, too... and if she, like most people do in reality, wants to combine the two, well, that's great as well...and even if she wants to say forget the husband and just be a single mom, that's her choice...no one elses!

    A TRUE "traditionalist" (and not just some loudmouthed radio pundit or a politician spouting "family values" to garner votes) knows that some women (and men) cannot and indeed SHOULD NOT marry! If the sanctity of marriage and upholding of family values is to be kept, then marriage and childrearing and parenting shouldn't be foisted on those who do not have the desire or the aptitiude to do it well. There's nothing worse than a unwilling or embittered or allegedly 'trapped' SAHM who blames husbands or children for her own inertia.

    EDIT

    Besides, we all go through different stages in lives...and at different ages. I'm in my late 40s, and there are women I know who, like me, were SAHMs in their youth but picked up their careers later and are now grandparents. Yet, there are also those in my age range who put aside marriage and having children until later in life. Some of those women are now mothers of young children. We don't judge each other for our choices....there's no need to do that.

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