Having lost a child to death, I disagree with those who say there is "closure'..or that we know where our dead children are. We only know where their remains are.
A dead child could be anywhere and their actual presence and fate is unknown. There is no closure. Everyday is another day without my child.
There is a good organization called "Compassionate Friends" for parents of dead children of any age.
I would give anything for my dead child to live again.
ETA: if you have the option to KEEP your child do it! Do not relinquish. GEt your baby back if you can! But if you cannot, then look to the future. Adoption is not death.
Not being able to determine whether our children are alive or dead is torture.We worry about them, we have no control over what happens to them,and that is why we fear for their safety. So, if you can keep your baby, do it.
Adoption is less hurtful than death, in my opinion. There is always hope that you will see your child again. Prepare for that day. Be the best person you can be. Write letters for your child and save them. Save other meaningful things for your child that you can share with him/her one day.
Time will pass. don't let this destroy you. You need to be there for you child.