I'm very depressed right now and have nobody to talk to. Will you listen?
Now I've become depressed and socially anxious. I have an extremely difficult time talking to people. Even if I somehow am able to get a conversation going, it doesn't last. I freeze up and people get sick of me. Nobody ever talks to me or asks me to do anything. I joined a club last year to try to get me around people more and it kind of worked. I met this girl who was in grade 12. She was a really nice person and just gave me a hug for no reason one day. She came back for another semester this year and gave me her e-mail. I found out that she had a lot of problems too, but that she was okay now. I really liked to listen to her talk about her problems with me and she even asked me to do the same. The problem is that I have trouble getting my feelings out. I've felt very afraid and insecure this entire time though. She just left school so now I have nobody to talk to. I think I've started to develop feelings for her. I don't know if this is real or just a crush, but I really care about her and I want her to be happy.
I think I'm ready to tell her all of my problems. My idea is that I would do it through writing. It's easier for me to express myself through writing than it is through verbal communication. This would at least give her more of an idea of who I really am. It's just been really hard for me. I've thought about suicide and hurting myself every day for the past few years. I can't stand being lonely, but it's hard to find good friends who really care. I'm sorry this is so long and I'm sorry if some of it isn't clear. I'm just feeling really upset today because I don't have anybody.