The Handler asked in PetsReptiles · 1 decade ago

I was bitten by a turtle when I was a young lad, should I still drink orange juice?

I need to know ya'll. I love to drink that dang OJ. It be tasting very good to me.

24 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    ... You can get salmonella from turtles, butt drinking OJ doesn't make it better... Clearly you lived through you attack... drink up! or don't?

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  • 3 years ago

    You have to melt an iguana s feces first, as the nutrients provide for an antidote to the turtle s venom. Also, a life hack among the internet is saying you should drink oompa loompa blood. DO NOT DO THIS! Since the oompa loompas work at Willy Wonka s factory, they are exposed to chemicals and adapt to their surroundings. Their blood is poisonous unless you sacrifice a live goat to Satan, but obviously you shouldn t do that. It will stain your new carpet your uncle from Mongolia bought you. Instead, take a coconut and find the exact turtle which bit you, and shove its kidney in the coconut, and make a nice cocktail. You will also have to add Beyonce s eyeballs and a dash of grass from your Swedish neighbor (there s at least one in every package of Fruit Loops!) to the drink. Then you can drink orange juice.

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  • 6 years ago

    The link between you and the turtle is now solid. you see, when the turtle bit you, it placed half of it's heart in you, and now half of your heart is in the turtles chest. The only way you can ever drink the good ol' juice is to hunt that exact turtle down, inject it with soy sauce, and fill it's anus with oompa loompa blood. The turtle will then release the two halves of the heart, but they will immediately teleport into a baby's eye. You spend the rest of your life hunting down that baby, and if ever you find it, you must tickle the baby's left index finger. It will crush one of the two heart halves. At this point you must pray to Baphomet that it crushes the turtle's half. If you pray hard enough, he will grant your wish, posses the baby, and crush the turtle half. You must then go back and release the turtle in a pond, where it's magical power is rendered useless. You may then, my friend, drink the orange juice

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  • chau
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    Young Lad

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  • 3 years ago

    Kiss My *** And You Can Drink It with iguana feces If you want a better way kill an oompa loompa and do the honeybadger mating call. Then steal the semen of the honeybadger and use it to drown a velocity raptor.Then drink its blood from it lung. Now you can drink oj normally.

    P.S. You Need To Do The Second Way Everytime Before You Drink

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  • 4 years ago

    Absolutely not! Any citrus juice you drink will put you right back in that turtle's SRS (shell radar system)... do you really want to risk being the target of his wrath over a few ounces of OJ?

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  • 1 decade ago

    I don't understand how begin bitten by a turtle keeps you from drinking orange juice. You may not want to drink any kind of alcohol though. One less alcohol related incident to worry about.

    Source(s): DUH
  • 3 years ago

    Yes but first you must **** the iguana with a alligator condom skin then eat 12 packs of sugar free gummy bears drive to your friends house and destroy his plumbing then you take your puppy s red rocket and shove it up your *** then you have to find the turtle and **** it till it dies then you have to eat its head and **** back in place. then you should be able to drink the OJ normally.

    • Mason3 years agoReport

      i tried it didn't work, but i decided to stick the red rocket in my friends *** and it worked perfectly.

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  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    sure mate

  • 5 years ago

    This happened to my friend when he was 6. I have seen him drink OJ just fine since unless it doesn't have pulp. If there is no pulp the doctor said he would most likely become a velociraptor

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  • 3 years ago

    no. if you drink dat dank OJ your heart will spontaneously combust in your chest, then you will melt like sugar in a thunder storm. you must first... drink a 60/40 split apple juice and mountain dew mixture out of an iguanas anus directly after its death, because we all know when you die... you poop... then u get dat dank OJ

    • Grace1 year agoReport

      Stop messing with him!

      Really, the affects are quite severe. Turtle saliva has a type of ribose that could potentially change your epigeneics. If citric acid is consumed while this is in your smooth or cardiac cells, it could result in uncontrolled splitting of cells (Aka a tumor)

      R u ok? :/

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