Religion: christianity, jesus, Lord, God. ?

i am all the while a freethinker, and i find it very hard to accept a religion without doubting, and having complete faith in it. Most of the time, i would try to tell myself to believe fully in that particular religion but the very next day i'll question its 'credibility' and wonder if a religion i... show more i am all the while a freethinker, and i find it very hard to accept a religion without doubting, and having complete faith in it. Most of the time, i would try to tell myself to believe fully in that particular religion but the very next day i'll question its 'credibility' and wonder if a religion i even realistic. i mean, in daily life, we're learning 'logic' and scientific explanations about all kinds of phenomenons the fact that so many aspects of any kind of religion questions the laws of science, i really have no idea how to continue having trust in a religion.

like in Buddhism, you sort of trust in Buddha, and how after your life you go through reincarnation. But what goes on in my mind is that, reincarnation is something (in the religion at least) that happens after you die, and since you are not dead yet, how do you know for sure that you will reincarnate after you die? Nobody has ever told you "Hi, this is my second life, my previous body was born in the other end of the world." you've never heard of that, nor have you seen something to prove that reincarnation exists, so how do you believe in it?!

and then, coming back to what's been bothering me for a really long time now. Christianity. I've went to churches, youth groups, joined cell groups, sang hymns, said prayers, and tried to form a relationship with God. But i can't seem to be able to have complete faith in it, and i can't seem to have the heart to pray sincerely from the deepest part of my heart and say grace before meals and everything. The thing is, so many aspects of Christianity are what i think of as 'miracles', and honestly, i've never seen miracles happen, nor do i believe in it.
No offence to any christians or catholics or the religion itself. For instance, i really wonder how moses can part the sea. (im sorry if i make any mistakes!!!) i mean, its NOT POSSIBLE!!!!!!!! like, i dont know how to explain but... you learn in your science lessons that it's against the laws of physics, and you have honestly NEVER seen it happen, have you???? you have simply read it in books or heard people say it, but you could never know for sure that it did happen, could you!?!??! so how can you say that you believe something as vague as that??? it's almost like me believing in a stranger saying that the moon is made of cheese. And in christianity, you read in bible that after you die, you either go to heaven or hell. and you have to be saved in order to go to heaven. (or something like that right?) and the same question is, how do you know that you will go to heaven or hell or wherever? have you even taken a look at how 'heaven' is like? do you even know how hell is like?? do you know anyone that is staying in heaven right now? based on WHAT do you believe the existence of heaven or hell? so you tell me, based on the bible. but who wrote the bible? how do you know that god exists? have you seen god? who has seen god???? how did someone write about god when he has never seen god??? how do you know that jesus is like, the son of god??? how do you know that jesus died for our 'sins'? Have you seen jesus? For all you know, jesus could have been a normal human being tortured by other mean humans. you have never seen the first human that existed on earth, and all natural disasters happening right now can be explained by scientific explanations now. so if it's just God, then whats the point of studying all those craps? why not just tell the government to wipe out all those facts and explain everything through the bible????????? they sort of say that the earth is the only planet that has like, living organisms (or something like that!?), but the universe is as big as big can be, and NOBODY knows how many other planets that are supporting live (or humans?!) there are out there. so how can you say that god only created US??? cuz you never know!!!!!!!

christians belive the Scriptures, saying that Jesus was begotten of the Holy Spirit in a miraculous manner, born of Mary, a virgin, as no other man was ever born or can ever be born of woman, and that He is both the Son of God and God the Son. how is it even possible to be born in a 'miraculous manner' throught a virgin?

!?!?!??!?!??!!?

I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND, with so many doubts, how can i even trust in it?!
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