Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdolescent · 1 decade ago

Mum problems?(girls only)?

Im a 13 year old girI (oldest one in my siblings) and i never get along with my mum, no matter how hard i try, we never get along, we argue on simple topics, and if i try to end it, she goes on about it. She won't let me - shave my legs(i have got discusting hair, which itches a lot), she won't let me get a funky hairstyle, always tell me tie my hair up, won't let me have sleepovers with my friends or a "friends fun day"(like she won't let me go shopping with friends ), won't buy me cute and nice tees/pants for summer (i have only got winter clothes left), and many more things-

I get along with my dad though.

My mum also won't listen to what i wan't to tell her, if i try to explain a problem about friends or ask what she used to do as a teen, she won't listen and take it as a "stupid uncessesscary joke". When we went shopping, she kinda yelled out "what sort of gross scarf are you wearing in your neck ?" with a dirty look on her face, people heard my mum say that mum, i felt like crying, beacuse she upset me so much. I try my best to keep up with my grades (i get A's in every test at school, and also get a good result for my half/yearly report). And yet she always compares me with my friends and random people i have never heard of.She has never told me to try my best at school she only says "get the highest mark in your class", and if i don't, she really angry and feels sorry for herself, that i didn't come first in class, insted, she puts me down and makes me feel like im a loser.

My mum never told me about menstruation or body changes. And when my body did start to change i got really anxious, because she never told me what it is, fortunately, at school they tell us about sex education and body changes.When i got my first period, my mum was so shocked, that i got mine at the age of 12 (she got hers at 16)she told me to be ashmed of myself, but it wasn't my fault i got mine at that age, besides, my friends all got theres too at that age. It's difficult to talk to my mum about problmes and stuff, beacuse she never listens properly and doesn't tell me what to do. It makes me cry so much, that i can't even trust her anymore

P.S- sorry if it was long, also- no immature or stupid answers.

11 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I can totally understand where you're coming from - my mum is often very cranky, she feels that her stresses are in no way similar or even comparable to my own, and it makes me feel incapable as her daughter because of the way she reflects her anger on me.

    Feel assured that you are not alone in this - I feel your pain. I disagree with some of my mother's parenting techniques, and remember, in the future when you have children of your own, should you go down that path, to never EVER put them through the pain that you've been put through involuntarily now. Time, unfortunately, will not spin any faster. Occupy yourself with the things in your life that make you feel happy and capitalize on them, regardless on your mother's opinion. If you want - and this is a very direct way of addressing the issue - pull her aside and tell her all of this. If that is too hard, because I know I would find it incredibly difficult, write a letter and leave it in her room, describing all of this - often our feelings are more easily expressed when we can think the words out, rather than blurting it all out and perhaps saying something rash. Alternatively, answer this question and print it straight off, and leave it for her to read. Calmly explain to her that you mean nothing personally, but you are feeling very hurt and alone at this stage of your life and that you want nothing but for her to understand that what is going on right now is not okay with you. If you aren't comfortable with this approach either, tell your dad and ask for his help. He is equally your parent and he is one of your most valuable resources. But whatever your choice is, please don't leave this pain bottled up inside. I can relate exactly to how you feel, please email me if you need to vent or just want some encouragement because I'd love to help you. Your mum has done and said some awful things, and you need to do something about it. You definitely don't deserve a miserable teenagehood!

    Best of luck, you have my support :) *hug*

    Source(s): Life - my own.
    • Login to reply the answers
  • Lora
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Colour Grey Mum

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I can see what your going through, but you'll really just have to stick it out. You said you had a good relationship with your Dad? Talk to him about it, he could probably get you some new clothes and talk to your Mum.

    Good luck && feel free to email me!

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    If your parents are divorced then live with your dad.Try going shopping with your dad or ask your dad if you can go with your friends?I hope this helps good luck.And dont be ashamed of getting your period at twelve!Thats normal

    • Login to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'm sorry.

    Is there a question? All I can really tell you is to hang in there, and that this happens to like 90% of teenagers :/

    I have no idea why but it never fails.

    I would just say to maybe spend more time with your dad, make an effort to be around him and make a better relationship with him!

    • Login to reply the answers
  • hello
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    wow.your mum is a cranky lady.just talk this stuff with your dad.not about your period though.but tell him you wanna go out with your friends and maybe he will let you.or tell your mum shes being unresonable.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • C
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I'm sorry. Talk to your dad about it. Or you should stand up to her and tell her how you feel about this.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    im sorry to hear about this. if you REALLY cannot handle every day life with your mum, then i would consider adoption, you may not WANT to be adopted, but you have to take a step back and think "Do i really want someone in my life who tells me i should be ashamed of myself for getting my period which i cannot control"

    its YOUR life, not hers,

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'm sorry...your mom sounds so rude. Talk to your dad about it...that is my advice.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    talk to your dad about this....love you dont diserve a mum who put you down...you should be able to talk to her about anything and she sould always be there for you...try to seek a therapist for your mum...but other wise good luck!!!

    • Login to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.