zackary190 asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

What's wrong with my life?

Hi, my name is Zachary. I'm sixteen years old, and for awhile I've been depressed and stuck with asking myself the same question; what's wrong with my life?

I've been homeschooled since about the third grade, and not legally in a school, morely just my parents giving me the work that they write out.

Here's my problem: when I first started homeschool I thought it was alright, I did the work perfectly and swiftly. I've always been into video games, so that's what I did most of the time. Had about 5-6 good friends that I've talked to and still hung out with over the years of homeschool. Now, 7 years later, I find myself stuck with only one of the 6 friends that I had, and he's becoming like them (using me). So over the years I've had my friends it seems that over time they don't want to hang with me anymore, or do anything at all with me, and I got the idea they were avoiding me from the start, so I just decided to do my own thing and not bother them (video games).

My entire life I've played video games, and I started playing them competitively- I've had the highest rated teams in WoW/CS 1.6. I've always been a depressed person seeing as I'm always on my own, but the depression never really got to me until recently.

The things I used to do before in the games that I did perfectly, flawlessly, and better than any other I can't do as great anymore, my "skill" has diminished. One of the things that just depresses me and rips my heart out is the people who try to avoid me, and what depresses me even more is not knowing why. I'm not an annoying person or anything, and alot of people consider me humorous. Why should I even get out of bed? my friends avoid me, they steal from me, and I've started to suck at everything I do. I can't find one good reason to even live right now. I remember when I use to be a happy cheerful person, but now I become angered and depressed real easy. Sometimes I wonder if I should call my real father and ask him if I was a mistake. My mother always asks me if I'm depressed about something and I tell her no, but I know she's only going to give me an answer to give me confidence, but it won't be the truth.

Update:

Checking if this is the reply because it's taking me forever to find it.

Update 2:

Ugh, there's no reply or quote button on the page. How do I reply to my own question? haha

14 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well Zack,

    One of hardships of growing up is loosing interest in things that use to be fun. I viewed playing FF 7,8,9 as the most enjoyable time in my life for a long time, but as I grew I lost interest in video games. I still wish I could put one in and play it with the same level of excitement I had when I was younger, but I can't. I had to find other things to do as hobbies. I got into building models, reading, writing. I still play strategy games, Civilization, Empire Earth, War craft three. I also find joy in chess. My friends from when I was young lost interest in me as well. I found out later that they lost interest in each other as time when on. It's a fact of life. I think you have been alone to long in your room. You have built your entire ego around video games. If you think about life, their are very few people that can say they have been the best at anything. You really need to meet people. Have you thought about getting a job at game stop, or a grocery store. The time out in public and being around co workers will be good for you. You need to begin to cast off the person you think you are. This may sound extreme, but I would say, Sell of it! Trust me, it will not be a life long obsession. You need to work out, get a job, save for a car. Try to find a way to network with people. Tell your parents you want to finish school in public, and not at home. Re organize your life.

    Water that sits still rots........

    Source(s): 10 years ahead of ya kid!
  • 1 decade ago

    Guess yahoo answers aren't like forums so I created another account. Anyway-

    My mother took me out of public school because she was afraid of my real father (like he's a threat...) and does not agree with the school system. I have ADD and ADHD, but that doesn't matter too much.

    Yeah, I've had my attempts at getting into public school, me and my parents talked about it not too long ago. My step father seemed a bit over optimistic about it, my mother wasn't too interested. She said she'd give it a try, 2 months later I bring up the subject and she's like "uhh no" lol.

    My step father is a firefighter, so he isn't around alot to make decisions, he's a really cool person though. I really, really, really hate my mother. She's the most irrational/argumental person I've ever seen and probably hate her more than anybody I know right now.

    I'm probably never going to speak to my family about how I feel because I'm tired of being in their presence all day every day. My mother always asks if I want to participate in any activity she's doing like going to the flee market or something, but she's the last person I'd do anything with. And no, I'm an atheist.

    I have thought of getting a job though, and as usual my mother procrastinates about taking me to get my license. I've read up and done the course and everything, she's just too lazy about it. So once I obtain that I guess I'll search for a job.

    I'm also curious to know if this depression is the reason I'm having such poor gameplay.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It is hard being a teenager. I suggest you get away from your computer and get rid of the friends that you feel are using you. Enrol in a school where you don't know anyone and try and make friends there. If that doesnt work focus on your studies it will give you purpose. Go to uni or tafe after take an interest in some subjects be passionate about what you do.

    Tell your mum you are depressed because you want to experience what going to school is like and that you dont want to be homeschooled anymore. Tell her you want to leave the friends you have behind and make new friends.

    If you are really bold ask your mum if you can speak to a psychologist they can really help you when you feel this way.

    absolutely nothing is wrong with your life i am in a similar situation and i feel normal - just a bit anti-social - buit i know i am not the only one out there and neither are you.

    HAVE HOPE. HOPE IS ALL YOU NEED!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    that’s tough…you must feel so alone right now…but know that you WILL get through this…have you ever talked to your mother and brother and told them how you really felt? It might not instantly change things but at least you’ll feel better that you let it all out…and I don’t know if you’re Christian or anything but I’ve experienced that it really helps to pray too…and maybe you should also try to get out and try meeting new people (the right kind).Depression usually comes from fear and inaction and the only way to overcome it is to break your personal barriers.There's no point in having the image of yourself as being a desperate, lonely loser.

    Go see some live music, go see some stand-up comedy, go to a sports bar and watch the game, start going to a rock climbing gym, take some classes, if you're in college then join some associations and clubs, walk around interesting neighborhoods, go to any interesting local events advertised in the paper.Also just being in situations where there are people around, even if you're not interacting with them all that much, gives you some of the feelings of having a social life. Through doing all these activities there are plenty of chances to actually meet people too of course.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You should definately find something more productive than video games. I know, I used to be addicted to games, though not ones like WoW - and it is never satisfying, just playing on and on until you get sick of it (or everyone else does).

    I bet you're a clever person who could find another skill. Or maybe you should take charge of your own education and look more into things that interest you. Are you planning on going to college?

    As for the friends, people come and go all the time - and people with few friends can easily find themselves without any for a while. You also have to question how much you want friends.

    --edit--

    Much easier question. YA functions on a question and answer level - you can't reply to answers, you can "answer" a question and you can "additional details" your own question, but you cannot edit or delete these (many people just refer to others by name).

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    nicely there's a distinction between questioning approximately it and definitely thinking it. I admit I certainly have concept approximately it.. yet I on no account ever might. in my view I see it as between the main selfish issues a guy or woman can do. you won't think of it now.. however the reality of the difficulty is that no count in case you pick to have self assurance it or no longer.. you're significant interior the international. you have a objective. purely considering the fact which you do no longer understand precisely what it particularly is does no longer propose which you haven't any longer have been given one. You impression people and lives.. whether you do no longer observe.. i'm particular they do. existence is stressful. It does no longer be worth it if it wasn't. Yeah.. existence sucks now besides the undeniable fact that it particularly is going to no longer suck perpetually. you won't have self assurance it besides the undeniable fact that it certainly gets extra valuable. interior the top yet it particularly is all as much as you or whoever else desires to try this. in basic terms you are able to come to a style.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Try and get into public school, or join an extra curricular activity like a sport, or someting outside of school.

    The worst feeling is to feel alone, and if you can't attend public school, or join an extra curricular activity, start hanging out with cousins, or other relatives your age.

    If that fails, ( they live too far ) You can always get a job, and make friends with co-workers, and at the same time have something to do and get payed :)

    As for the VG's, go buy call of duty, You can chat with people ,& even I absolutely LOVE it, it's a great way to kill time and get you in a better mood :)

  • 1 decade ago

    Bro, all I can tell you is it is not your fault.

    You have basically been hardwired with anti-socialism you just need to get out, discover things, and learn new experiences.

    Try getting a job and meeting new people, the more you make yourself a recluse the more depressed you become.

    If you would have been in school, you would have already had most the experiences an average teen your age has had. Such as: being bullied, having more friends, meeting new people ETC.

    Just try and have these experiences on your own.

    If you let these things drag you down THEY WILL and that IS ALL THAT WILL HAPPEN

    Source(s): I was the same way when I was your age. I still get depressed from time to time(But that is just life).
  • 1 decade ago

    When feeling depressed, it is a good idea to try to find a way to do things for *other* people. Thinking of others, doing something for them, will help get you out of the cycle of depression as it gets you thinking beyond yourself.

    Since you like video games, maybe try to find a program where you can teach video games to younger/less experienced players. Or find people who are lonely that you can visit (like in a nursing home) or write them letters or something. Or find a charity that you can get involved with. Anything that gets you thinking about other people can help a lot...

    As for your parents, your mom can't help you if you won't talk to her honestly. Tell her the truth. And if you think she's not telling you the truth, then tell her that you need to hear the truth, that you're willing to hear it even if it's hard, that you are old enough and need to know the truth to hlep you understand your own life.

    As for your "real" father, you might need to rethink the idea of "real." A biological father is not the same as a "real" father. A "real" father is one who sticks around and does the job of fathering, who's there when he's needed, who helps raise his children, support them, discipline them, hang out with them, etc. If you have to call him--if he's not there in your life, it doesn't sound like he's a "real" father.

    Growing up, friends sometimes discover that they have different priorities, different values in life. If your friends aren't on the same road as you, you might want to figure out a way to find a new set of friends. Find an organization or activity to get involved in that will help you meet some new people who are more likely to share your goals and values.

    No one is a mistake. Doesn't matter what the biological parents think. Most aren't planning to have children at the moment that they are making them. But that doesn't mean that anyone is a "mistake." I have faith that there is a meaning to everyone's life. You have to decide whether you want to let your whole life revolve around what your biological dad did or didn't do, or whether you want to move past that and be your own man. Prove to him that you aren't a mistake and make him sorry that he's missing out on being in your life by making something valuable of yourself. "The best revenge is living well."

    ------

    Yes, depression can make it hard to do anything well. Certainly it could affect your game play.

    If she won't take you to get your license, figure out a way to do it yourself. Walk there or ride a bike or take a bus, whatever you have to do to take the test for your learner's permit. Then you can work on getting the actual license. Find a friend who'll let you use his car to practice and take the test. Or get a job that you can walk to and once you have enough money, call a driving school and pay them to let you use their car to take the test. Just figure out a way to do it, and you'll find that having a plan and working to carry it out will go a long way to ridding you of your depression.

  • 1 decade ago

    hi Zachary - my first question to you would be: do you know why your mother has chosen to homeschool you all these years? is it due to religious reasons? if not, is it due to a neurological disorder (such as asperger's or ADD)?....

    i have a son who has a neurological disorder. although *extremely* intelligent, he started suffering greatly due to the social stresses of school in grade 4...by grade 5, he became so ill (severe headaches and not able to sleep), that he didn't even go to school - therefore, i ended up homeschooling him through grades 6-8....those were some lonely years - he eventually lost all of the friends he had - luckily, however, he did have a cousin (3yrs older), who was his only "friend" that entire time...

    this past summer, my son surprised me when he said he wanted to "try" high school....i wasn't against it, but i was concerned for him, due to his past experiences....but boy, was i ever wrong...he not only ended up getting excellent grades, but shockingly, he was also *accepted* by his peers. kids in middle school are usually difficult to deal with no matter what...however, high school can be very different...and, for my son, it has proven to be the answer to his depression...he finally has a social life - a life outside of the house - although everything's not perfect, no one's life is....yet, he's very happy as compared to how he was just a year ago, and is eagerly looking forward to each day.

    he also started playing (electric) guitar, and has become quite good at it over the years - something that he can entertain himself with, as well as be proud of.

    feel free to email me or him if you want to talk (i'll make sure he gets the info).

    hang in there.

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