Is it disrespectful to not move my wedding date?

Ok, I am 21 years old. I have been with my man for almost a year ( I know it seems sudden but read on). He has been my BEST FRIEND for 7 years now. We've been through thick and thin together. As friends, and as a lovers. We love together and do very well. He proposed to me this past weekend, on the night of my 21st birthday. Of course, I said yes.

Both of us LOVE halloween. And this year, 2009, halloween is on a saturday, which is perfect for my wedding day. Or how I have always dreamed it. So him and I have begun planning around that day. My grandmother, however, who is getting remarried for the 3rd time, has planned her wedding to be two weekends before mine. Several people in my family say that out of respect for her, I should move my date to another month.

I have never been married, DEf BOTH of our firsts, and the 31st is our dream date. What do I do?

17 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If the 31st is your dream date and you aren't relying on your grandmother to do any planning for your wedding - and she isn't relying on you - No Worries!

    Out of respect for your grandmother, you might say something like:

    "We're getting married on the 31st of October and would like your blessing."

    If she give it, great! Tell anyone in your family that gives you flack that your grandmother blessed the union! They will have nothing to say after that!

    If she doesn't give her blessing, tell her your disappointed but this is the date you dreamed of and it's very important to you. If the family keeps on you about it - tell them your wedding is a celebration of your friendship turned to love and not an invitation for drama.

    Best of luck!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Talk to your grandma. If she doesn't care, you shouldn't care- don't worry about your other nosy relatives that are starting trouble. But I caution you: if you get the slightest inkling that grandma is the one behind the rest of your family telling you to move the date, maybe you should. I know it sucks, but there's no reason to have your wedding turn into some kind of family feud- there will be enough stress as it is. This is a time in your life where you want to have your family's love and support so you can all celebrate together. If this means waiting until Oct. 30th, 2010 and having a Halloween-themed reception instead, so be it. Keeping the peace would be well worth the wait.

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  • 4 years ago

    Some guys really have a tough time making the transition from b/f to 'live-in b/f'. If it's his first time, you are definitely his 'guinea pig'. It takes a long time for many guys to get the idea that it's not just them anymore but you're part of the mix too now. It seems pretty selfish on his part, but it's not an unusual situation. While there aren't any easy answers to this, the only thing I can suggest is for you to go out and have your fun too, and not dwell so much on what he's doing when he does go out. He's not getting cold feet - he just isn't sure what his role is and that's something that he has to figure out if HE wants the relationship to work out. It's an adjustment period for both of you, and until you can find some balance, it's not always fun. What I've learned is that cohabiting in a relationship is what you make it. It's not the fairy tale we would all like to believe. If you become increasingly unhappy and feel that he's just not into it or into figuring out how to make it work - perhaps you'll have to rethink things ...

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  • Jo
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    you keep your date.......her wedding is not the same weekend, plan your wedding, have it when you want, people will get over it...congrats! one of my best friends was married on Halloween years and years ago, it was one of the most fun weddings I have ever been too.....just remember, it is your wedding, dont go all Halloween, put a little wedding not Halloween in there. Plus, if you were my granddaughter, I would tell you to have your wedding as planned.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I dont see why you need to change your date at all, your gran may be getting married again but thats 2 weeks before yours, leave things as they are you have your hearts set on the halloween date and your gran's wedding will obviously not be the biggie that yours will be so leave things as they are.

    Good luck.

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  • It is not disrespectful and I honestly don't know where your family members have gotten that idea....gram will have been married for 2 weeks before you tie the knot...her wedding day is one day only, and any day after that is fair game for you & your guy...she doesn;t get to extend the celebration after her wedding day is over (except privately, of course! lol).

    So unless they can come up with a d@mn good reason for it, and 'stealing her thunder', that stupid expression, does not apply because her thunder is over after the reception to her wedding ends and the guests go home, go ahead and have your wedding when you want...the date of your special day doesn't depend on when another's special day is.....

    Besides if Gram is like me she'll realize in the scheme of life, as nice as her third wedding will be, she's been there done that twice before...time to let you shine with your first trip to the altar...good luck.

    Source(s): 55 years of Life Experiences...and I married my hubby 4 weeks after my niece married...NO ONE CARED lol.....
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  • simple
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    i think you should stick with your date. either keep the date this year or get married the same date next year. there are too many people in the world for everyone to have their very own day. this year sounds like it will work out perfectly for you and i think you should go for it. they will all get over it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    there is no reason to move your date. do you know how many people all over the world are getting married in oct? you can't please everyone. plenty of people get married in the same month or within weeks of family members, it's not a matter of respect. except whoever suggested you move your date was being disrespectful to you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    No! I think that respecting you, your family should support the date that you've picked and know that it means something to you and that obv. youre not doing anything to offend or take the spotlight off of your grandmother. Your wedding is your day and it's not like its the same day or anything. It's your day, not theirs, do what you want!

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  • 1 decade ago

    No it's not rude at all. Your grandma gets that date she chose in October, not the entire month! Two weeks before your wedding is plenty of breathing room between both weddings.

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