Anonymous asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles ยท 1 decade ago

How Men Amuse themselves in Tescos....?

Afternoon joke for you all...........:)


Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor

gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'


Make sure you read the whole thing :)

24 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    If you bring this type of humour with you every time you visit-you will always hve friends and strangers absolutely tickled pink.

    I really thought that is in the top 10 I've ever read.

    Come back soon- PLEASE.

    Source(s): sTILL SMILING!
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago



    i love the 13 & 14 , some husband:)

  • 1 decade ago

    Much more fun than the men in my Sainsburys, perhaps I should change to Tescos

  • 4 years ago

    Well this i the 1st time I've seen this and its funny as f... I would love to know this guy he sounds like a right loon ha ha Thanks for this 1, I'm emailing it to my mates now to share the giggles

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  • hahahaha.Number 10 and 12 were very funny

  • 1 decade ago

    i love it especially number 10 and 12 to!!

  • 1 decade ago

    Love that!I found it really funny.I liked number 2 best

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I've read this joke many times & it never fails to amuse

    I could see peter griffin doing this

  • 1 decade ago

    Lol. Hilarious!

  • 1 decade ago

    what a legend! Was this guy Chuck Norris by any chance?

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