請提供好笑的英文笑話~

如題~請提供幾則好笑的英文笑話 不用附中文 謝謝!!

4 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    1. A student visits God and says "God, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" God says "No, ask me anything at all."

    So the student says "God, you've been around for a very long time,so, for you, how long is a thousand years?"

    God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes."

    The student then says "That's interesting God. And, for you,how much is a million dollars?"

    God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents."

    The student says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me five cents please?"

    God looks at the student, smiles, and says "Of course my son. Just wait five minutes!"

    2. Patient: Doctor, I feel so weak.

    Doctor: Okay, let me check.

    Patient: What's wrong with me?

    Doctor: You are physically exhausted. You need more nutrition.

    Patient: How can I get enough nutrition quickly? I am a very busy man.

    Doctor: Intravenous drip.

    Patient: How long would it take?

    Doctor: A couple of hours.

    Patient: (Points to the intravenous drip bottle) May I drink it? I can

    finish it in three minutes.

    3. A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That`s the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"

    Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

    "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.

    The man sympathized and said, "Why? he's a public servant! He shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

    "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!"

    "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

    找了這些,希望對你有幫助!!

    2009-01-22 20:44:36 補充:

    4. Harry did not stop his car at some traffic-lights when they were red,and he hit another car. Harry jumped out and went to it.There was an old man in the car.He was very frightened and said to Harry,''What are you doing?You nearly killed me.''

    2009-01-22 20:45:42 補充:

    ''Yes.''Harry answered,''I'm very sorry.''He took a bottle out of his car and said,''Drink some of this.Then you'll feel better.''He gave the man some whisky,and the man drank it,but then he shouted again,''You nearly killed me!''

    2009-01-22 20:45:54 補充:

    Harry gave him the bottle again,and the old man drank a lot of the whisky.Then he smiled and said to Harry,''Thank you.I feel much better now.But why aren't you drinking?''

    2009-01-22 20:46:15 補充:

    ''Oh,well,''Harry answered,''I don't want any whisky now.I'm going to sit here and wait for the police.''

    請自行接上 因這有字數限制

    Source(s): 網路找的..., 後來又找到的~, 後來又找到的~, 後來又找到的~, 後來又找到的~
  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    瞭解一次、多一次的保障。尋找八大行業工作。必須謹慎小心一點。

    小巴常說:保險跟冒險只差一個字,意義卻是大不同!

    一通電話、一次詢問。都是為自己的著想。

  • 1 decade ago

    1.There's a man who is an In-charge of a well-known company's factory in China, he needed to go to the US to reporting the project progress one day, and he went with a friend, Mr. A . They entered an airline lounge and heard there're two foreigners in the conversation, foreigner A said, "Are you kidding?" and foreigner B said, "No, I'm serious!" Then, the man asked Mr. A who is the one not good at English, "Would you tell what they are talking?". Mr. A answered, "One of both said, "Are you Keating?" and the other one said, "No, I'm Xeris!".

    One day, the man back to Taiwan and he asked his Chinese boss if he can take a vacation to overseas, and the boss replied, "Go ahead." Then, the man was so exciting and ran out from the boss's office. However, the boss said, "Wait a second! What I said is "Go a head" but "Go ahead"!"

    2.It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

    "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

    "That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

    "Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

    提供給你幾個英文笑話網址吧

    http://motranslator.mysinablog.com/

    http://www.chenhen.com/html/english/joke/2-jokes.h...

    有問題可以再問我喔!

    Source(s): 上述網址~
  • 1 decade ago

    這是聽我們英文老師說的@@

    上課上到一半我們英文老師突然對我們說

    同學你們知道嗎??老師常常去看((脫衣秀))!

    大家當場說老師好色唷...

    全班一陣混亂ˇˇ

    只見老師不慌不忙

    冷冷的回了一句

    我是說我常常去看Toy show(玩具展@@)=\\\=

    Source(s): 柯柯~~大家一起來分享笑話吧=\\\=
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