I've done a lot of asking with the people in my life who are associated with adoption. My best friend placed a child and feels one way about it, my mother-in-law placed a child, and is in reunion with my brother-in-law who was placed. I've spoken in length both before and after my son was born on his first mom's feelings, things she might have done differently, and I've observed what has happened that she doesn't talk about. I have a network of people in various group about adoption, that I might ask an opinion on before I answer a question. I'd also discussed adoption with a few friends who had been placed, both when they were teens, and as adults, after their own kids were born.
I've put some of their answers to the questions that are on here, that I've actually asked them about their feelings on those questions. Anytime I answer those questions, I refer to them as, "My MIL says" so I am not acting like I'm in their shoes.
I also believe that there are people here who have very strong opinions and who hate adoption. I sympathize with them, and I try to understand their feelings, but at the same time, I know that there are many people who belong to each part of the triad who are not represented here. Believe it or not, there are actually happy adoptees out there, as well as unhappy. There's wonderful, totally selfless AP's out there, and there are some AP's that even I want to B@#$ slap because of their idiotic ways they try to pass an adopted child off as their own, and really screw with the child's head.
There are also some people who answer questions here that have been many parts of the adoption triad. They might be AP's who had placed a child themselves as a teen, who are also adoptees. They've experienced every part of the triad. Rare, but they do exist.
Adoptive mom who'd like to adopt again one day