I'm back with my (still married) x boyfriend but I think I made a big mistake or am I just being negative?

Ready for a short novel…. I met Gabriel in 1999 and we were together for 2 years. We both worked a lot and he lived 45 min away so we couldn't see each other everyday. But I was so in love with him and so was he that we made it work. I ended up finding out he was married and I cut him off completely, he... show more Ready for a short novel….

I met Gabriel in 1999 and we were together for 2 years. We both worked a lot and he lived 45 min away so we couldn't see each other everyday. But I was so in love with him and so was he that we made it work. I ended up finding out he was married and I cut him off completely, he tried calling me many times and I would hear his voice and hang up (yes his wife called me so he knew that I knew) he would leave messages to explain and that he was staying because of his kids (3 of them and she was with him since high school) It would kill me to hear him cry and tell me that he loved me and he wanted to see me to explain. I was dying (i thought) I was miserable, I wouldn't eat (lost 20lbs ;) and I thought it was the end of the world. I moved on and I have been in many relationships and they just don't make me happy and i'm so picky because Gabriel was one of those opens the car door for you, brings you flowers and was beyond a gentlemen the kind of man you can bring home... BUT he was married. Anyway 8 years have gone by and recently found my cell online (because I own my own business) so he text me since the break up I moved 20 min closer to where he lives. I didn't want to talk to him but I told him off and said everything a man would never want to hear (since I didn't do it 8 years ago) so we start talking and he told me things are different now I divorced (i will call her Mimi.. lol) Mimi 2 years ago and I never stopped loving you. He said he dated and couldn't feel what he felt with me and tried to find me but I had moved 3 different times. So since I love the net I looked him up in the court website in his city and there is nothing saying he is even legally separated. So I blow up again and tell him that the foundation of any type of relationship is built on trust. He swears that he will never lie to me again but he thought is he told me he was still married I wouldn't give him the time of day and that he wasn't divorced yet but has been separated for 2 years and lives alone. His mother just got an illness last month and isn't able to stay alone so Gabriel and his younger brother got a place together to help take care of his sick mother. I met his brother and his mother and friends and they all are so nice to me and the remarks they make shows me they don't like Gabriel's wife. He is responsible and gives her $1500 a month for his kids but is always asking for more. He gave me her phone number to call her and ask her how long ago they separated so I knew he was telling the truth (but I didn't) his mother told me ;) My best friend is also a lawyer so Gabriel said that he wants me to take care of the divorce but my friend will, just to prove that it’s getting done. We were supposed to go out Thursday night but I had a meeting with a client late and another after that came up (i'm in the wedding biz) so night appointments are normal since I meet with the bride, groom and sometimes their parents. I tried calling in between clients because he left me a voicemail (but work is first) and he didn't answer, but his message said, if we can't see eachother tonight i'll see you tomorrow and Saturday, I love you" ok so I call him when i'm done with my client no answer, I call in the morning (since he's off) and he always answers or sends a text and nothing. Ok now I think something happened by 5pm today I start calling hospitals and nothing. Maybe he got mad because I couldn’t call him and he’s paying back lol I don’t know that’s why I’m here. So I try calling at 6pm and i get the voicemail and then he calls back, but it wasn't him it was his younger brother (29) and he told me I seen your messages and I didn't want you to worry, but he found out by one of their mutual friends that a bunch of his friends took off to TJ (excuse me on a Thursday night hmmmmmm) and he was supposed to back tonight but now the friend says they are coming back on saturday. His brother and I talked for a bit because when I am not around he can't stop at one drink, but never does that with me. Now I am so mad because I had other plans and cancelled to spend time with him and he pulls this crap... the brother was mad because they were supposed to do something this afternoon too. Is the brother covering for him or not and why the hell did he do this out of the blue when everything has been going great, am I being dramatic (he knows I am because he gave me reason to be) Now I don't want to talk to him or see him because i'm all worried and he went to TJ to party with friend. (I can't sleep i'm so mad as you can tell) What should I do... no matter what happened he has to know he can't do this or i'm done. It's easier when you are on the outside looking in....your help will be appreciated and thank you in advance :)
Update: I told him actions speak louder than words. But for everyone that is reading, I have NOT slept with him nor has he tried. He has been separated for over 2 years and has a place with his brother along with his mother, I have gone to his place many times and his mother calls me on occasion, so it's not that, I... show more I told him actions speak louder than words. But for everyone that is reading, I have NOT slept with him nor has he tried. He has been separated for over 2 years and has a place with his brother along with his mother, I have gone to his place many times and his mother calls me on occasion, so it's not that, I just wanted to clear that up. And he is meeting with the attorney on Wednesday for the divorce.
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