Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

I ended up loosing my virginity on a one night stand? Do you think I was used or do you think he cared?

I met this guy and we went on a date and went to a party together. I ended up spending the night at his place and having sex with him. This TOTALLY shocked me since im 19 and was a virgin before that night. I just got out of a HORRIBLE relationship a week before i slept with this guy, so i wasnt thinking clearly. He didnt know i was a virgin until he had trouble and when i told him he stopped and was VERY shocked. He then continued for a bit, but didnt seem as confident and seemed very awkward. He didnt even end up finishing up the job, he stopped and said he was "tired" and then took me in his arms and cuddled with me, and was really sweet.

Anyways I didnt let myself get too attached because I know what guys are all about. But the next morning he was sweeter than EVER to me. He treated me like gold. He took me out for breakfast and was super attentive to me. He also asked about my Ex boyfriend and seemed jealous. When we'd kiss the next day, he'd kiss me stop and then look into my eyes. When things would get heavy he'd stop, and instead of trying to have sex with me again, he'd just take me and cuddle with me while holding my hand. Then when i said i'd take the bus home, he told me he wouldnt let me take the bus home, and he'd pay one of his friends to drive me home. My mom ended up calling me and assisted she'd pick me up. He then wanted to meet my mom. When my mom got to his place, he told me to say goodbye inside because he didnt want my mom seeing that. When he met my mom he seemed VERY nervous.

2 days later he called me. He asked me right away what my mom had to say about him. He said he thought she didnt like him. He then asked me if she knew that he slept together. I told him that she did and that she cried a bit, and then almost did too. He also said "i never see you around at school where are your classes?". He then told me about this girl in one of his classes gave him this number for this apartment that was available for rent near our school. He then said that after she gave him the number she kinda seemed to want to give him her number too, but he didnt want anything else from her, he just wanted that apartment available for rent number and thats it. I (trying to act like i didnt care) said "aw why not, shes not your type" and he went "no shes not my type, i dont go for druggies". We talked for about an hour and then he said "well i better go make something to eat, then ill probably work out for a bit, and then later on tonight, ill probably end up calling you again". so i just said "okay" and then he said "is that cool?" and i said in a kinda non caring way "yeah".

He never called me back.

When i saw him at school a couple days later i said "hey" and then he responded with "wusssuppp" and i got scared that he wouldnt stop to talk to me so i without thinking rejected him and gave him a DIRY look and turned away. When i saw him a couple days later he avoided me and just kinda looked at the ground. I then from the corner of my eye saw him look over his shoulder and quickly look at me

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Okay. I can't really say because I didn't get enough info from that (yeah it was alot!) but still not enough, for me, atleast! Anyway, I don't know how you feel about losing it to him, are you remorseful? Did you love him?/were you saving it for someone special? All that info is missing. So- first I wanna say, beware. Guys are slicker than they think they are. By his reaction to you telling him you're a virgin means A- you guys didnt know enough about each other to even be having sex B- he feels SOME KIND OF WAY about having sex with a virgin (idk what way, but SOME way) C- guys lie about "not finishing" and want the girl to think they didn't ejaculate because they know they didn't/wont make the girl climax and it makes them look bad.

    As far as the next morning, its actually quite easy for a guy to try and make a girl feel special (especially knowing they just took their virginity and how vulnerable a girl is to their 1st) he did want to make you feel good.

    When he asked you to kiss him bye inside and NOT in front of mom, that's a lil strange to me, is this guy alot older than you? Yeah, most guys are scared of meeting mom, only if they are bad news and don't expect to be with you long.

    He seems sweet AT TIMES, but thats not enough. You deserve WAY better, but yes its too late. Try not to develop that virgin-who-just-lost-it kind of attraction to him. That's what some guys hate doing virgins for, that attachment they tend to have afterwards.

    Listen, I'm gonna be 20 in february, I'm not way older, there's a chance you're older than me. I don't think he was worth it. (not saying i think first times are sacred nor am I judging you at all) I just think you lost it in a bad situation, I did too. Worse, actually! And after all the boy-mistakes I made for 4 years, I can kinda give advice. My boyfriend is 26 and he wouldnt have sex with me until we were something official. If a guy likes you, he'll treat you like sex is the last (ok, maybe 2nd last, men are still men!) thing he wants from you

    You shouldnt look into him further, he sounds like potential heartache!

    Source(s): Been there, kind of...
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  • 1 decade ago

    wow.

    "I didnt let myself get too attached because I know what guys are all about" that is an ignorant statement. Girls are just as much horny as guys so don't try to hide it.

    See those are the cons of having sex at your age with just anybody like that. Stop following the world.

    Anyways, to answer your question. At first i believe he was going to use you. Then you told him you were a virgin so he cared more for you, seeing that you were more delicate than that wtv. wooow anyways all I have to say is think about what you're doing. You seem to be just strolling through life like its a jolly ride and it's not. This is what happens. Later on when you might get a husband and u tell him yeah i had sex and it was the worst ever, he might feel bad seeing that he wanted to reserve his virginity-loss for that one special girl .

    Anyways, then again people these days do nothing but love the world and the movies and music videos displaying images of women who have no respect for themselves or their bodies and just show what they got. I actually think he did care near the end though.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    ok, I'm going to be blunt here so be warned.

    first off, i am 19 and coming from a girl someone your same age, you as well as i know that it was just a one night stand and nothing more. If he really liked you he would of respected you and asked you on a date, but he didn't. Unfortunately a lot of dudes are kind of like actors they will do, say, or act any way you want them to as long as they think they can sleep with you. These guys especially take advantage of girls that are virgins. Also college is a breading ground for guys like that so be aware next time.

    your 19 now, your an adult. this is like high school drama taken to an unsafe level.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I think your not really ready to be in a relationship. I think he tried to be nice to you, but you act silly about the situation. Men can be pigs he actually sound a bit decent maybe because you acted like you didn't care about the situation he just act in the same manner.

    I know you are hurt about your brake up but next time talk to some one about how your feeling before you do some thing as silly as sleeping with some one you don't know or care about. I don't think he used you! I think you both used each other, because he could have slept with you and dump you like trash the minute he had sex with you, he could have even force himself on you, because you allowed him to, but he handle you with care men don't care about one night stand.

    I am not saying you should go start a relationship with him, all I am saying is may be you should just be honest and tell the guy the truth. Then move on with your life. Next time just be careful it could have been worst.

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  • 1 decade ago

    One night stands doesnt mean he cares, it simply means he doesnt give a FUC* about you, from the looks of it, you were probably used. When men get what they want, yeah maybe a couple of days after he may still keep in contact with you, and hug and kiss you, but deep inside he already knew what he wanted and what he was after. I think you should try talk to him about the situation and see what he has to say about it. Of course he is gonna lie, but just see what excuse he will give you. Dont worry about it, Just Take One For The Team, dont worry we have all been there sometime in our lives.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I think he's got a bit intimidated by the thinking that he was the one that took your virginity... so at first, he wanted to make you feel that he wants to take responsibility for that..I still think he did care.. but the thing is there's actually nothing between both of you too, isn't it? do you have any feeling to him?

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  • Dani
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    It's late ......that's a lot of reading...I basically skimmed it. ....but a one night stand? Yeah he cares. He cares that now he gets to tell his friends he bagged a virgin. Men think with the head in their pants, not the one on their shoulders. If he cared, it wouldn't have been a one night stand.

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  • Max
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    It sounds to me like he is a good person and that he really cares for you. I think that you should not let him get away.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Wooowwww...

    It was guilt that made him care.

    Forget him.

    Trust me on this. Look for ways of improving ur life for the better.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds like he does care but he doesn`t think you do. You should just tell him otherwise nothing will come of it.

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