Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

Why do women think men are suppose to be mind readers?

My girlfriend posted this question today and from the responses not many other women agreed with her.

This was the text of her question.

"Who else lives with a man that acts like you dont exist? I have been home sick for two days now and I am literally taking care of myself. He hasn't offered to buy me soup, ask me if I'm ok....nothing. Does anyone else have this problem? He says he cares but I just don't believe that. It's like he is too caught up in his own agenda to worry about anyone else. He's job searching but he could at least ask if I'm ok. Im coughing, having chills, took myself to the doctor. Not that I wanted him to take me to the doctor but when I walk in from the doctor's, he doesn't look at me. I didn't go to work today so of course he knows I'm not going. I am out until Monday and I feel like this is going to be to hellish days just being home with him. It's like he is upset that Im sick or something and should just suck it up and go to work anyway. What kind of man am I with!!??"

I've told her over and over and over again that I can't read her mind that that if there's something she wants she needs to learn to open her mouth and ask. I could understand more if we were young but we're both in out late 30's. By now she should know better. She thinks that a man should be so in tune with his woman until she shouldn't have to ask. Something should pop into his head, "I think my girl is thirsty, let me go get her something to drink." Or, "she's not feeling well, I'll fix her some soup." My mind is focused right now on trying to find a job so I'm sorry if she's not the center of my world right now. She'll probably delete this forum soon because I know her. When she posts something like this and gets a bunch of negative responses she tends to delete it. What do you guys think? Is she looking for too much in a relationship or and I just an uncaring boyfriend?

Many of those who responded were women and most of them came down on her. She thinks I'm suppose to be a mind reader then when I don't or can't her feelings are hurt.

Update:

I'm sorry she has a cold but I have the same cold. I've been under the weather all week too but that hasn't stopped me from keeping the house clean, cooking dinner every night or running the kids around to where they need to be. Plus, on top of that, looking for work.

10 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    shes a a valid point or two. but so do you.

    your job searching SHOULD be your priority. but not to the exclusion of her altogether. a ltl acknowledgement when she came home from the doctor...if u get up to get something 4 yourself, ask her if she needs anything.

    by the same token, you are NOT a mind reader, she is NOT a child. she should have the common sense to ASK 4 something if she needs it-NOT go on the computer to validate her feelings.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You could at least ask how she is feeling. Are you out and about searching for a job all 24 hours of the day?? I doubt it...so...be nice. Offer her some soup, even if you get her some take out soup, or happen to pick up a can at the grocery store....anything to show you care. If you were the sick one you better believe she would do everything in her power to make you feel better! You may both be in you 30's and have had previous relationships, but its not about her NOT wanting to ask for something, its about you showing affection when you ask her how she's feeling, or if she'd like something. Its just common courtesy to the one you love. Try it, you may be surprised at how much the bit-ching will decrease!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Why can't men be more sensitive to women's needs? If a man sees that his wife is sick, he should do the right thing and ask her if she needs anything. He should do something to make her feel better. If I'm like, "I'm thirsty." The nice thing for my husband to do would be to ask if he can get me anything. I can say Yes, or No. Most men are just self centered pigs, though. So it's not a surprise to me that you are giving her grief by being completely insensitive. It's just the way you robots are made.

    I know if my husband was sick, I'd go get him medicine, some vitamins, Ginger ale, offer to do things for him. Why? Because I care for him, his health is important to me, I love him, and I want to nurture him. Why can't men do this for women? Simple. They are mostly just animals that care more about getting off over a woman in porn, or getting off over some super cool move a man throwing a pig skin around just maneuvered. Whatever.

  • 1 decade ago

    Nurturing comes easily to most women, it's second nature for us to think about other people. The whole concept of "women's intuition," right? We could argue that it's biological, after all, since babies can't talk and women are the caregivers who need to be able to "read minds," or we could argue it's environmental and women are raised to be more in touch with feelings and body language. Or we could talk about how men's and women's brains work differently and men tend to be more focused, while women are better at multi-tasking.

    But, I don't think it's terribly out of the realm of reality to expect a human being to be a little thoughtful and try to help another human being. You don't have to "read her mind," to be able to say, "Honey, is there anything I can get for you? Medicine, water, soup?" You're a grown adult, you're not the one who's sick and who's body/mind is compromised, and you know perfectly well what people need when they're sick, right? Granted, you don't know EXACTLY what SHE might need each second of the day, but it's not hard to guess, or to ask, is it?

    I'm not blaming you, please don't think that (I live with a husband who is as singularly minded as you say you are, and he was NOT a joy to have around when I was pregnant with our children). LOL On her side of things, she needs to learn how to ask for help when she needs it. Women are sometimes not very good at that, for some reason. Whether for self-esteem reasons, or biology or what, I don't know.

    Hope this helps!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    This is one you will not win. I will say that you both are a little right and wrong as well.

    She is sick and wants to know you at least give a rats patoot. Make a little effort.

    At the same time if you do not enter the room every 15 minutes on the dot to check on her she should be forgiving as well.

  • 1 decade ago

    I have no idea. I agree, if you want something that you aren't getting then ASK for it. It's no less appreciated because you have to ask for it.

    if she had been stuck in bed and throwing up and couldn't move and you live with her then I would have agreed with her that you were a bit dense or self absorbed to not ask her if she needed anything but my advice would have been the same. "If you want something and you aren't getting it then ASK for it"

    you have one of those women who thinks you should be a mind reader. Remind her that you aren't and if she wants something from you that she needs to ask for it.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You're a dumbass if you can't sense something is wrong with her, if she's upset, or otherwise just needs your attention.

    Either way, you should probably watch more Judge Judy.

  • 1 decade ago

    Communication is key. Also, pick your battles and don't hit below the belt. Sounds to me like you both need to drop it...

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    ohh yehh

    they think we shud do everything that there thinking

    which is most times the exact opposite way they act

    women are strange :S

    some1 should publish a book.... preferabble with pictures

    about how women work

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I saw this question earlier and didn't think it warranted an answer, sounded like she was being a baby.

    Source(s): not all women think men should be mind readers, but apparently yours does.
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