Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

Tips for handling extreme stress.. plz advice?

Hi.. I'm 14 years old and I'm a freshmen in my high school.. I transfered to a different school about 3 days ago cause we move. when I got to my new school, it was cool.. but then my best friend died on my 2nd day at my new school... I felt so angry... I couldn't protect him.. I keep getting terrible headaches, and I feel like I want to thrown up.. Plz I have no idea what to do... he is my best friend and I love him like a brother... I've never felt anything like this before.

any advice would help

10 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I would look for advice on grief and dealing with death. You can see if there are any support groups near you, or online, for grief. You can also try books (sorry I don't have any to recomend). As for just simple ways to help you feel better when you feel like you are loosing it: Take a bubble bath. Blow bubbles. Listen to music. 1) Exercise *

    2) Putting on fake tattoos

    3) Drawing on yourself in red marker (make sure it's washable!) *

    4) Scribbling on sheets an sheets of paper *

    5) Writing (poetry, stories, journal, etc.) *

    6) Cuddling with a stuffed toy *

    7) Being with other people *

    8) Watching a favorite TV show (preferably a comedy) *

    9) Posting on web boards, and answering others' posts *

    10) Thinking about how you DON'T want scars for the summer *

    11) Painting your nails

    12) Going to see a movie

    13) Eating something ridiculously sweet (or any favorite food) *

    14) Doing school work

    15) Surf the net *

    16) Go into chat rooms to talk *

    17) Call a friend and ask for company *

    18) Playing a musical instrument

    19) Singing

    20) Looking up at the sky (night is especially beautiful) *

    21) Making your own list of things to do instead of SI *

    22) Punching a punching bag (with gloves on)

    23) Snapping a rubber band on your wrist *

    24) Cover yourself with band-aids where you want to cut

    25) Mix warm water and red food colouring, and put in on your skin (feels and looks like blood)

    26) Letting yourself cry (can be very difficult for some) *

    27) Sleep (only if you are tired) *

    28) A hot shower, or relaxing bath (no razors in the tub, though) *

    29) Play with a pet * (very helpful)

    30) Detangling yarn or necklaces

    31) Re-organizing your room

    32) Cleaning (hmmm...I very rarely use this one!)

    33) Having a pillowfight with the wall (yes, neighbours may think you are crazy, but that's ok) *

    34) Knitting or sewing

    35) Reading a good book

    36) Dressing up very glamorous (make sure no one can walk in on you, though)

    37) Colouring your hair

    38) Listening to music (not angry music though-that can trigger) *

    39) Watching a candle burn (no playing with the flames!) *

    40) Finding someone else you can help out *

    41) Meditate *

    42) Watching a scary (but not bloody) movie. *

    43) Work on a website

    44) Have a vivid fantasy love affair with a celebrity( it works for some...)

    45) Go somewhere very public *

    46) Bake

    47) Alphabetize your CD's

    48) Chewing leather (especially if you SI by biting)

    49) Buy a home Henna tatoo kit (peels off the next day-similar to skin picking)

    50) Painting or drawing *

    51) Ripping paper into itty-bitty pieces *

    52) Hugs-(this one is very nice...) *

    53) Writting letters or email *

    54) Talk to yourself (or if that feels weird, buy a small tape recorder-I then feel like someone is listening)

    55) Stroke nice fabrics

    56) Hug a pillow *

    57) Hyperfocus on something like a rock, hand, etc.

    58) fingerpaint

    59) Scream (I LOOOVE this one-just make sure no one is home) *

    60) Dance

    61) Make hot chocolate (mmmmm....)

    62) Pop bubble wrap *

    63) Play with modelling clay or Play-Dough

    64) Count to one hundred

    65) Build a pillow fort

    66) Pop balloons *

    67) Hug yourself

    68) Make things out of duct tape

    69) Reading things in a different language

    70) Going for a nice, long drive

    71) Complete something you've been putting off *

    72) Drinking absurd amounts of tea

    73) Breaking plastic plates

    74) Tearing up socks

    75) Throwing socks against the wall

    76) Archery

    77) Rock climbing

    78) Take up a new hobby

    79) Organise bills and such

    80) Cook a meal

    81) Go out for ice cream

    82) Buy a stuffed animal..uum yeah...

    83) Look at pretty things-like flowers or artwork

    84) Create Something

    85) Pray

    86) Trow socks against the wall again

    87) Make a list of blessings in your life

    88) Read the Bible

    89) Go to a friend's house

    90) Take up fencing

    91) Watch an old, happy movie

    92) Call a Help hotline or your Therapist * (thats what gave me the curage to tell my mom that i cut)

    93) Talk to someone close to you that knows *

    94) Throw a temper-tantrum

    95) Hit things-other than yourself

    96) Ride a bicycle *

    97) Polish silver or jewellery

    98) Gardening or watering house plants

    99) Memorizing German poetry (silly, but works!)

    100) CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!

    101) Feed the ducks or birds or squirrels, etc.

    102) Draw on the walls

    103) Play with facepaint

    104) Do very Glamerous make-up

    105) Colour with crayons

    106) Memorise a novel or play or song

    107) Put on boots and STAMP

    108) Stretch

    109) Find butterflies

    110) Watch fish

    111) Come up with baby names (even if you're not pregnant)

    112) Make mashed potatoes

    113) Make a tape of your favorite songs

    114) Name all of your stuffed animals

    115) Go SHOPPING!!!!

    116) Get into your PJ's and just veg.

    117) Buy cheap teddy bears and take out anger on them instead of self.

    118) Throw everything (except glass)

    119) Go to a loud concert

    120) Play the 15 minute game (say you can't cut for 15 minutes, and when the time is up,

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    See a counsellor. It's easier to work through things if you can bounce it off someone else. Ask your doctor about this. Get more sleep. You can handle things better when you're rested. Walk. It may get rid of some of the tension you might have inside. Learn something new. A new hobby or an activity where you're focussed on something out there in the diverse world we live in. Find a relaxation technique that suits you. Do it regularly even after you start to feel like it's unnecessary.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well I can't say I've experienced that but I've gone through a lot. I'm sorry for your loss... Stress can be fought mentally and physically.

    Mentally: you need to keep your mind occupied find things that you enjoy doing, hobbies, going out with other friends or even with your family if your close... Obviously there is no way to completely take your mind off of it. And these things probably won't be as much fun but it's not health to sit and dwell on a situation that you couldn't control.

    Physically: your body if taken care of correctly can create chemicals that combat stress... You need to do three main things...

    1. Eating right: you need to eat right. Since your young you don't need to go over board but try eating minimal amounts of junk food and focusing on your fruits, vegies and proteins (lean meats are good)...

    2. Exercise: Exercising lets you release some stressful energy and it releases endorphins into your body, which makes you feel good. It's also just plain good for you to exercise regularly.

    3. Sleep: make sure to get enough sleep. Everyone is different. But the average is around 8 hours. You know what you need, your body tells you.

    I found that working out at the gym and eating healthy made me feel lots better, and ironically it gives you more energy. And as a result of working out a lot (about 4-5 times a week) you get much better sleep.

    Also one more thing... Idk if youre considering or not but dont get sucked up into using drugs to take your mind of things. It wont make anything better. I just thought I'd throw that out there just in case...

    Well give that a shot and see how you feel. Sorry about your friend, I hope things get better for you... And don't worry, they will.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My day sucked too, which can't compare to your week obviously, though. I take it the old school way with my two best friends Ben and Jerry. Talk to your school counseror and take a break. Deep breaths and rest will help too. I'm not a pshchiatrist, but a teen girl like you. It gets bad, but it gets better too. Look forward to the good and remember you have people who care about you. I wish you the best!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Of course you miss him. And this is not extreme stress, but rather part of the grieving process.

    So sorry you lost your best friend. This is what losing someone you love can feel like.

    You don't say how your friend died, but you do state "I feel so angry.....I couldn't protect him". Was it your assignment to take care of him and to protect him?

    Anger is part of the grieving process, and you have to know that what you are feeling may not feel good, but it is absolutely necessary in order to be at peace. And it is absolutely unproductive to feel guilty about anything. Angry, yes........

    Your buddy was so lucky to have had a friend that cared about him so much....and this, you can be thankful for. He knew that you loved him like a brother.

  • 1 decade ago

    well no matter what..its gonna take some time to get over his death..and im sorry to hear bout it..ive had friends die i know how you just have to remember the good times you had..and know that he's at a better place..and he wouldnt want you staying upset like this..find things to do..if you already dont play a sport..try gettin out and try doing something..even go for a long walk..and music helped me..and your gonna find new friends that will always be thre for matter what..take life step by will get better..i promise.everyting will be alrite..

    hope i could help some..if theres anyting else you

    hope all is well.

  • 1 decade ago

    Take a deep breath....

    make sure you are getting at least 7 hours of sleep each night and eat healthy/exercise, take a nice long shower, and trust me as time goes on you will feel much better. Good luck and remember we are all in this together.

    oh and btw thinking about what you reallly like helps keep you motivated too!

    Source(s): My heart goes out to you...i am very sorry for your loss
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I am so sorry for your loss. It would definitely help you to talk with a greif counsoler. Putting it all down on paper really helps me. Write it out, cry, get it all out there. Then allow yourself time to grieve. Don't try to surpress the horrible feelings, deal with them. If you try to surpress the feeling they will only come back later to bother you. When I have had to deal with a horrible loss, it also helps me to pamper myself. I take a bubble bath, paint my nails, put a mud mask on my face, get pretty. Then I put on my favorite fleece pink pajamas and make some hot chocolate. I sit on the couch with a box of kleenex and watch some funny movies, try not to cry anymore. It makes me feel better if only for a few hours. I also try to have a close friend there with me.

  • beagle
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Just remember it was not your fault or the fault of your parents i understand how you feel i have lost so many people that i love they were all like mothers to me 3 of my friends died of cancer. 3 died of heart attacks one was only in her 40s she was one of my best friends and anther one was my mother-in law so much like my mother she was way to young i am so sorry for your loss i know how hard it is to loose a friend and i really dont know what i would have done with out knowing jesus i am a christian and so were they so i believe they are happy and in a much better place if you dont know the lord find a pastor in a church in your area to talk to please .

  • 1 decade ago

    oh boy./ consider seeing a psychiatrist? if not then maintain your normal habits, you can't keep feeling angry, wait for it to pass

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