I can't stop liking this girl, no matter how much i have been hurt. Do I love her?

Started out I got dumped in when i was younger by a girl I really liked, not as much as this girl tho, not even close. Well she broke my heart. I got over it in a few days tho because it wasn't love. Then my father left that year. And never called me or talked to me. I havn't talked to him for 5 years. Not even a phone call on my birthday. Since then...i have been afraid to get attached to any girl, and friend, ANYONE. Any girl I ever got with..I broke up with because i didn't want to get my heart broken again. Losing my father, and not even getting a phone call, is the worst pain i ever felt in my life. Any girl I ever got with, i had to find something wrong with them..I had to...Then, I finally met this girl. She made me forget about my past, forget about EVERYTHING...i was 2 years older than her...and she wasnt aloud to date me. I waited almost 6 months...just to date her. Not even knowing, if I'd ever be aloud. But then the more I got attached, the more I didn't know if i wanted to be with her...And when we were finally aloud to date...I told her I just wanted to talk. I couldnt get attached and get my heart broken. She cried, and when I saw that first, that first single tear drop from her face. It was the most beautiful I ever seen her look. I knew right then and there, I was going to end up falling in love with this girl. I told her about my past, and i made her promise..promise me she wouldnt hurt me...promise. and she did, for 6 months. Then one day she dumped me, and flirted with another guy..on that same night...She started to ingore me...and said that it just happened....2 weeks later, jus so happened that the kids she flirted with...she was then "talking" with...my heart was broken into peices...again..again..the worst pain i ever felt...for 2 months after that...all we did was fight...i hurt her alot...but i dont think she realizes what she did to me..by doing that...the only reason i ever hurt her..is because what she did to me..and i never intionally meant to hurt her..ever...but as time went on...she said she wanted to be my friend..we were friends..then the next day she said she hated me and to never talk to her again..and i would just cry for days..this happened about 3 or 4 times..i would get my hopes up..and shed just bring me down again. Finally...i finally connect with her, and we both regret everything we did...and we were going to hang out one day...and her parents said she was never aloud to talk to me again:/...it was the worst pain i ever felt, worse than my father leaving, worse than her doing what she did...knowing she wanted to be my friend..maybe become somtehing more again..but she wasnt aloud. And this girl, she is something special..i know she never meant to her me..ever, she just didnt know what to do. everybody makes mistakes, and i know i have made some. but i learn from everyone...All i know is...when i look into her eyes, i forget my past, i forget the future...i think about NOW...if you could only see this girl, she might not be beauitful or perfect to other people...but to me...she is the most beatuiful girl on this planet...i truely think God put more time into her to make her special...and now, she isnt aloud to talk to me, idk what to do...i cant move on, i cant...i just cant..i think she loves me..i really think she does...do i love her...bcuz im still here...


2 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Hello, in response to your question, I don't think there is a direct answer love isn't absolute but is like a light and can shine bright or be dim. I think however after reading your question that you wanted someone to love after having nobody there for you and she was there. This does not mean that you love her but that you love having someone there for you and there is a difference. I think she is the wrong girl for you if she has found other guys and is only talking to you as a friend then it is time to move on and I know it won't be easy especially if you don't have a lot of friends or family to support you. Just go out in the world and don't stay inside crying because that will only cause you more pain. You need to go out there and meet new people and make some friends because you need to talk to other people otherwise you will lose your mind over her. She has moved on and doesn't love you and you are hanging on to something that doesn't exist. This does not mean that nobody loves you but that you have found out how much you love yourself. You are crying because you told her a lot of things about yourself and have let things off of your chest that were bothering you so she is like a journal to you and you don't want to lose the feelings. I'm sorry but this is not romantic love but the human desire to have someone to express yourself to and to be acknowledged. I am sorry to hear that your past has been so cruel to you but if it is one thing I learned in this life is that we choose our actions every moment so you can either wallow in self-pity or you can hold your head up high and say I can move on. Look yourself in the mirror and say that you will move on and that you deserve someone who will love you. Don't get your hopes up for no reason, I have been in your situation and I kept going back and forth trying to figure out if she loved me but the whole time I was lying to myself and she left. If you hang on to her then the pain will burden you more than it should, learn that what happened was good for you. Now you are free of your past and are a stronger person from it but she is no longer a part of your life. Everyday the night comes and takes the light away from us, but every morning the sun comes up, so no matter how far you fall down you have to believe in yourself and be ready to stand up. Good Luck and remember happiness is a choice not your circumstances.

    Listen to Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bobby McFerrin

  • 1 decade ago

    that is sooooo sweet that u love her sooo much even after all ahe has done 4 u. but i think u should find a new love and don't b afraid 2 love cause hey it might b a good thing after all :)

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