public speaking advice please (10pts best anwser)?

ok.... I HATE public speacking ONLY because my first speech was infront of 200+ people at the lovely age of 9. i wound up running of the stage crying.. i was wondering if anyone had advice to get over my fear..

AND plesae no rude comments..

6 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I can really relate to your situation because I used to have extreme fear of public speaking and stage fright cause by having to give a class presentation at school at the same age you were, 9 years old - my knees shook, I sweated like crazy and my voice was quavering. In the week prior to that report I was nervous as can be, dreading the report, and really a mess.

    The good news is there's definitely hope for you and I suggest that you take your time in building up your confidence. Start simply and easily by emulating speakers that you estimate have no stage fright or fear of public speaking. Emulating is easy, just "act like them" but don't over do it, you're not imitating, just emulating qualities they have like how they stand, how they gesture, how they move, how fast or slow they talk.

    Practice being able to defocus your eyes while speaking as this naturally triggers the autonomic portion of your nervous system which is responsible for creating relaxing feelings in your body. There is a short video of how to do this at Also, practice labeling your body sensations as excitement instead of nervousness - often the only difference between nervousness and excitement is what we tell ourselves our body sensations mean to us.

    It's true that your bad experience was due to putting too much emphasis on yourself and what people might think or feel about you and that puts too much pressure and worry on you. Do you have a strong religious or spiritual faith?--if so (and even if not), get yourself to feel connected and concerned for the well being of your audience because that takes the focus off of you; think of them as your friends, your brothers and sisters, as it were.

    If I - a nervous, shy, introverted kid - can overcome stage fright and fear of public speaking, so can you.

    One more thing: I strongly suggest you alter your relationship with your memory of that event because that can strongly and negatively influence you in the present and the future. Try revisiting that memory as if you are an objective observer - as if it's you visiting from the future - and try to have empathy and caring for that younger you; what would have made things turn out differently? What qualities and characteristics would you have had to possess then in order for that even to have had a positive outcome? Replay the event over and over in your mind but change the outcome to a more desirable outcome - no, you're not fooling yourself about what happened, you're just changing your relationship in the present to what happened in your past. Resist the temptation to relive the experience as if it was happening all over again, instead, see it from the outside with curiosity about what would have changed the situation to a more positive outcome. Imagine being able to speak in the future with that more positive outcome.

    Those are just a few things to get you going, feel free to look at the articles on conquering stage fright and fear of public speaking at and you'll find tons of great ways to deal with fear of public speaking - my personal favorite is "the hero process".

    Finally, accept that this happened and don't resist the facts. Change your relationship with that event, but also give yourself permission to have been a 9-year-old child who was overwhelmed - the only thing that means is that you're a normal human being with feelings.

    Let me know if I can be of further help, and I hope at least some of this helps!


    David Portney

    • Login to reply the answers
  • ya hi c let me say u some of ma experiences i hope it wil help u .no one is born talkin we all learn admittedly some better than others.first of all pratice makes one perfect so keep on preacticing try try again.And the next is prepare a list what to do like

    listen to yourself and work on the problems identifiedand main thing is avoid your wrong breathing and improve your voice and exercise for your voice tone .

    and i would like to give you the qualities of good speakers also and thery are

    a carrying voice

    a confident appearance

    a smile

    a sincere approach

    fine use of language

    self control

    an attention gaining manner

    clarity of speech

    a sense of audience reaction

    a ability to appeal audience

    keep introduction short and apt

    never apologise

    dont argue with any speaker

    judge the volume

    make intresting for your listeners.

    and so there your are a public speaker ready to speak in public!! youe dedicated work wil bring you always success all the best friend.

    Source(s): 4rm ma own experience i hav given tis iam a public speaker 1ly so dnt worry averything will be correct all de best frnd
    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Well, I'd say that if you're absolutely sure it's only because of that one incident you've either got the problem pretty well 90% licked already or you're wrong! :)

    David is right - what scares a kid, scares a kid. You're older, wiser and not the same person any more. Forgive yourself the bad experience and grow....

    There are a myriad of techniques for dealing with nerves when you perform (for example see this Youtube hint on using peripheral vision: or browse through our presentation skills blog for various bits and bobs:

    However, if you're after one particular "golden bullet" type comment, I'd say this: remember it's not about you! Unless you're Bill Clinton or someone of that level, no one comes to see you... they come to hear what you've got to say. The message is what's important, not you. Once you concentrate on designing your presentation with that in mind you're half way there.

    As many others have said, practice practice practice, but ignore suggestions to do it in front of a mirror (that just makes you stilted and self-conscious) and don't gradually go from one friend to lots of friends etc... presenting in front of people you know is not only more difficult for many people but it's also actually nothing like presenting in front of strangers! If you need to try it out, use Visualisation techniques to give yourself 'dummy runs' - it won't cure the problem but it will help.

    Finally, remember that you're *supposed* to be nervous. If you're not nervous, you'll be boring and anyone who tells you they're not boring and not nervous is... well let's say that in 10 years of training public speakers I've never met someone who *genuinely* wasn't nervous and who was *genuinely* a good speaker! :D

    The trick is not in removing the nerves but in using them!

    Cheers.... Simon - presentation skills training for groups; and - presentation skills training for individuals

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Practice a lot. By yourself in the mirror or with a friend. You should be able to recite your speech as comfortably and naturally as you can the ABC's. That way you won't have to worry about losing your place, looking down too much, the sound of your voice, etc.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    practice in front of your family then move on to your friends. Increase the number you speak to until finally you become less nervous. Also just think about how people give speeches everyday it's a natural process (:

    Source(s): past expireience's
    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Hmmm...try to picture the audience as one person. Or if you can't do that or if that doesn't help, don't think about what its going to be like. (I mean don't worry of what they think or anything) try to think of it from a different perspective. Depending on what your speech is about, think of it as your either making a difference, should be thankful, or think "Hey, if they are hear still, they like listening to me".

    I know a meg h. :) probably not you obviously but cool! :)

    • Login to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.