Must you love yourself before others can love you?

You know how the saying goes: You have to love yourself before others can love yourself.

Is it possible that someone else can love you before you love yourself?

Update:

oopsy, the second "youself" should've been "you."

16 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Anybody can love anybody, but It is clear you are talking about something else. Just because someone can love you does not mean that they want to have a relationship with you.

    Cheers!

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  • 1 decade ago

    To be loved is a wonderful thing. However, you must first love yourself. There is no way that you can receive love the way it is intended to be given if you do not love yourself. Loving yourself means taking care of your body, inside and out. It is a task to stay healthy with all of the temptation that is out there. In order to conquer this task we must really look at why we are doing it.

    Some of us indulge in unhealthy habits because it makes us feel good and others over indulge because there is a deep rooted issue within us that needs to be addressed. A lot of these deep rooted issues arise from our childhood experience. We do not realize how easily children are affected and influenced by the actions of others in early childhood. These events can rear their ugly head later on in adulthood through many different unhealthy activities.

    Now that we are adults it is up to us to evaluate ourselves in an effort to find that link. This may very painful and difficult, but it will be worth it. Once you have pinpointed the causes of your actions you can begin the journey of repairing yourself and making a better life for you and those you come in contact with. During this process you will have to face the dimensions of yourself that you may not be that fond of, but doing so will help you appreciate your entire existence.

    Find meaning in those areas that you look upon as negative, because the more you fight against them and bury them deep inside the more issues you will continue to have. Yes, you may say leave well enough alone because things seem to be working out well. However, at some point something will happen that will be a trigger and all these feelings and characteristics that you felt were not good or beneficial will be dredged up and it will be devastating to your entire being. Therefore, it is better to deal with the whole self on your terms.

    What I mean by on your terms is you can decide when you want to explore your entire being and how lone you want to take. It will not be as a result of something triggering you. You will be making a conscious effort to get know and love the entire existence of yourself.

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  • 1 decade ago

    That saying you must love yourself before others can love you. Only means that you have to have a level of self importance or you'll let people treat you any old kinda way. So do a degree yes, you have to love yourself, but there are times when someone else can see the beauty in you that you don't see yourself

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  • 1 decade ago

    when you were a new born baby your parents loved you.At that time you were too young to understand self love.More over some time self love implies pride and shelfishness which can't make you lovable to any one.Others love you when you love them without any selfish motive. If loving oneself means self confidence and becoming caring and sensitive to others feelings then it is a very significant condition for being loved by others.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Look at it from the other way round.

    If you met someone who had an obvious dislike for himself, could you love him? Not pity or empathise with him - but love him?

    A certain measure of self-regard or at least self-acceptance without being narcisstic is essential in any successful relationship.

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  • 1 decade ago

    i think the quote goes beyond just love. it includes self respect, self esteem. if you don't love yourself and respect yourself, then you will act in a negative way. it would be difficult for others to love you.

    children don't count. they are lovable just being kids. it is when they grow up to adults that it becomes difficult to love someone who has a negative view of themselves.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Someone else can fall in love with you, sure. Your parents love you before you even know you are a human being.

    But I believe you need to know more about yourself first, before you can express yourself to someone else. How can you communicate when you don't know what you want? ;) Peace

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Must a fish use his gills to breathe underwater? Well I believe you couldn't BE ALIVE without self-love. So almost everyone has the capacity to love others. Just some of us are too savy for that trap, ha ha.

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  • KJC
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    yes someone can love you without you loving yourself, but it is unlikely to turn out successfully or happily for both people. ultimately, you have to love yourself first in order to achieve a healthy happy relationship.

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  • E P
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Yes.

    I think that the motivation to love comes from the experience of being loved by another.

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