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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

What to do about my bartending wife?

Before you begin to think or believe this is a typical bartending question, please think again. It's not. And I need some serious insight in order to make my marriage last.

I met my wife two years ago--I am much older than she is and she is in college. I am crippled, live in a wheel chair, and have medical problems stemming from a lifelong battle with alcoholism and cholesterol. My wife is a trophy that I'm finding harder and harder to keep polished.

She now tends bar at one of the VFW bars in town. We live in Little Creek, Virginia. There are two places (other than Panama City where SDV training is taught) that base the Navy SEALs. Little Creek, Virginia, and San Diego, California. And this is where my problem lies. Everynight my wife leaves our house and goes to bartend at the "SEAL" VFW bar. The SEAL platoons who are not deployed have kind of "marked their territory" with this particular bar, and the other veterans (Army, Air Force...) go to other bars in the area. Folks--please read this part carefully--my wife rolled me out there to the bar one night (only once) and I noticed how the only SEALs that come are not married. They are all single. Also, I got a glimpse of how beautiful these men are (just being honest, not gay). These SEAL guys are not normal. They look like male fashion models who just happen to be war machines. They have scars (from the war) and tattoos but they are not trashy (don't smoke cigarrettes and don't drink too much). A few I talked to had college degrees, and the others without college degrees were likewise educated. Again, they own this bar basically. It's known as the "SEAL bar." But you haven't heard what the problem is yet:

My wife now works her normal shift and the late shift (10 to 2 am). She comes home with her makeup and lipstick and hair scattered, and sometimes when I roll fast enough and make it into the room she changes in, I notice she is not wearing panties. I haven't checked to see if doesn't go to work without panties, but she has always worn panties before. Also, she wears more makeup and perfume, and dresses up more before she goes to tend bar (she used to work at another bar and didn't get all dolled up like she does at the new bar).

I want someone (woman or man) to honestly tell me what is going on. I'm really not a great husband--I have mood swings because of all the pills I'm on--and I think she might be doing stuff with them. She sometimes doesn't get home until like three or four. And she and I never have sex (limited sex) anymore, but she doesn't complain either.

The bar has no supervision and, frankly, knowing how wild my wife used to be I could see stuff happening at the bar itself. These SEAL guys really stick together and I'm sure they are not offended by watching one of their platoon mates get some action, even right there at the bar. My wife has always been very open and she is not shy about her beautiful body.

Just shoot me straight, if you can. What's going on at that bar, or why is she getting home so late? I miss my wife.

11 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It sounds like you just answered this question yourself.

    I use to be a bartender before I got saved 2 years ago and became a Christian. I too was always very beautiful with a very nice body, especially in my 20's and 30's. I will tell you that the bars I worked at were not like you mentioned above, but those kinds of men still lingered in them. Good looking female bartenders ALWAYS have men trying to make a move for them. This is the reason many bar owners hire the good looking women because they bring in the crowd and make the money for the bar. Men tend to spend more money in bars than women do (reason to have a female bartender). I cannot count the many men who asked me out, made a move for me, tried to buy me drinks, even though they could clearly see the wedding ring on my finger and knew that I was married. The temptation is always there. It can be very easy for your wife to get taken by one of these guys especially if she is not happy at home. I too always dressed up really nice and paid special attention to my looks when working at the bar and that was because I was looking to make tips in which I made a lot of. I don't know your wife and cannot pass judgment as to why she dresses up more at this bar than at the other ones she worked at. You know her better than anyone. The best thing to do is to ask her directly if she is happy at home and if she still loves you and wants to be married to you. if she says yes to the questions, I would then ask her to seek work elsewhere and not in another bar. I stayed working at the bar with my husbands conscent. Also he would stop in and visit me and I had very good friends at the bar. It sounds like this is not the case with you and your wife.

  • 5 years ago

    1

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  • 1 decade ago

    I would have someone simply check out what she is doing and how she acts at the bar and where she goes after she leaves the bar prior to going home. Your wife is not in a good place to ward off temptations. You yourself agree your marriage is not too great. When that happens, people could wander. IF you get a sudden shock, you need to take care of you, better yourself, and do not hit rock bottom. My Ex cheated on me and I even gave here one chance. After playing me for a fool, the second time, I had to get out. I had every cruel intention (and fully capable of) to seek revenge on everyone involved who knew. I wanted to become violent, hit the bottle, quit working, and become a mess. With the help of God, and my family, I came out with my head up high. Once your freedoms are controlled by the law, it is the worst. Keep straight and no one will love you better than you and God. Luck

    If you lose someone, you may even come out winning. Message

    If this is fake, you are risking me seeking revenge on you so if it is, stop wasting people's time.

    Source(s): My Life
  • 1 decade ago

    ok.... I think you need to talk to her and ask her these questions... this is serious man!! I don't know you or your wife so I don't want to judge but you have to come to your senses.... there are all these SINGLE guys at that bar ummm... yea I would say she is not faithful.... But do not take my word i do not know you or your wife! there is a bar i go to and the bartenders there are single except one but let me tell you that does not stop her! do not stop your life for one women there are pletty more!! good luck

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    just dont listen to them ,do what you got to do if you love bartending then go for it ps there are always hiring bartenders in hollywood btw

  • 1 decade ago

    if this story is real im sorry but you keep saying she rolled you or if you roll fast enough...its funny, you should write a book if this is fake

  • :-)
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Listen to your gut instinct. You already know the answer.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You must be out of school again this week.

  • kim h
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You again?

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    This is a joke, right?

    Nobody can be this stupid.

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