What does it mean when white people tell me stuff like this? What are they trying to say?

I've had white people tell me it should be easy for me to get into programs because I'm an African-American female. These are people that are supposed to like me. I feel insulted. It's almost like they're telling me I'm dumb but it's okay, society will take care of me. I feel really disrespected by society. I'm also a senior, chem major on the Dean's List so it's not like I need someone to feel sorry for me or put me down. They're making it seem like I should be a charity case when in reality black women are extremely disrespected.

16 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Wow, I am shocked at some of the things people say here. I am an educated, black woman and I have seen in the classrooms the things people say. One woman said in class. "the only reason I got into Rutgers was because I put I am black on my application (she is Moroccan and Italian)," so what does that say about me? If you look at a white person on campus, they got there on merit, but if you look at a black person, that's affirmative action at work!? That's horrible!! And as far as looking for it or attracting it (I've seen and read the secret) that's not true. I was the last person to say racism exists, until I attended a white dominated university. I've seen what a 3.8 Newark high school GPA equals in a university. I've had to study longer and harder than other people just to get on the level I should have been when I graduated. I don't want to rant, but racism exist, I wish i didn't, but the truth is, it does. As far as affirmative action, I don't look at it as a handout, but it is giving minorities (including white woman, remember the 75 cents to the dollar problem?) equal opportunity, However, it shouldn't be looked at as the only means for minorities to succeed, most of us who do succeed work really hard, just like everyone else. (obviously there is a lot more to the subject, I can't possibly put the reasoning on here, it would take FOREVER!) I personally don't like when people say things like what they've said to you but I just take the positions in the programs and let my work speak for itself. From one Dean's List, Black, female to another, congrats and keep doing what you've been doing. Good Luck!

    Source(s): life experience and a college education : )
  • 1 decade ago

    Some of these people may be recognizing the truth about the programs rather than making any judgments about you. And honestly if a program would help me get ahead I'd go for it and forget what other people say.

    Get your training and let the world see how smart you are. Those who matter already know.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm only answering because I saw the pattern in your speech I was looking for. Your last sentence where you said "in reality black women are extremely disrespected."

    Because that is what YOU believe, it comes to be. You are attracting that disrespect into your life. YOU are the creator of your experience. You are probably young and what I am about to tell you you may scoff at. My 22 year old son tells me about the tinfoil hats and aliens, but since I have started learning about this, I am noticing more and more it is truth.

    See if you can get a movie called "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne from your library. Watch this movie. There is a man on there, his name is Rev. Michael Beckwith. Pay attention to what he says, he is a powerful speaker and you can look him up. Also, the movie was edited into a second version, they deleted Esther and Jerry Hicks from the first one. If you get a chance to read any books by Esther or Jerry Hicks, please do so. This stuff seems like mumbo-jumbo but it's truth...try it for a week. Put out how you want to be treated...and feel like it is already happening. When you wake up in the morning, say to yourself, it's a glorious day and I will have perfection all day long. My day will expand with abundance of good things. Do this for a week and do not think ANY negative thoughts.

    You may get scared and feel like you can't keep negativity out, but you can. You control your destiny. When you feel affronted by someone that is negative, when you feel depressed, sad, angry, etc, that is all negativity and when you are sending out negativity into the world it comes back to you. Another way you can control this is to look at "right now" Usually when you look at the current moment and don't worry about the past or future, your world wont look so bad. I got that from Eckhard Tolle "The Power of Now"

    PS: I'm a 38 year old white woman. My favorite TV personality is Neicy Nash. I wish I could be like her-I wish I could just hang out with her and be her best friend-her personality transcends color and I think she is very beautiful and she isn't a supermodel either. Not all people put down black people, please stop thinking that, you may be pushing away a good friend in the process. I love the fact that a black man is Finally in the White House...shouldn't THAT tell you something about this day and age????? The slave days are over girl...but you still live there in your mind, please look up what I told you and try for a week to be positive.

    EDIT: I added some books to the sources

    Source(s): I read alot. More people to look for: Deepak Chopra, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Bob Proctor and anyone else on the movie "The Secret", You can probably download audio of some of these people for free or watch them on youtube.com, Gregg Braden (the divine matrix excellent book), Eckhard Tolle, Jose Silva, Wallace Wattles (The Science of Getting Rich), James Allen (As a Man thinketh), Charles F. Haanel (Master Key System), Napoleon Hill (Think and Grow Rich), Esther & Jerry Hicks (Ask & It Is Given) These "Rich" Books are not just about money.
  • 1 decade ago

    It's a commonly held opinion in much of white society that things like affirmative action benefeit black people and other minorities. Although it is patronizing for them to mention it, I personally would assume that they think that they're being helpful and supportive by pointing out or reminding you that you could use your racial status as a way to bolster your opinion, not understanding that you'd prefer to get into programs or jobs based on the merit of your skills, abilities, and achievements.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Thats prob because they know how smart you are. They are not tyring to make you feel bad in anyway. I am also an African-American female. You are right about be being disrespected.

  • 1 decade ago

    It is easier for you as a black female to get into programs because of Affirmative Action policies. These programs take black females first even before our veterans. which is illegal. You are suffering the backlash of affirmative action.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    While some may mean well and think they are helping you, others may be insulting as well. Your own achievement is awesome, and no wonder you are insulted at the thought of needing special programs.

    I wouldn't read too much into it as maybe they don't know any better.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    There are affirmative action programs that give priorities and preferences to people based on race. There are opportunists who rely on these programs rather than work hard to make their skills competitive so they can honestly earn a "spot". (I can immediately think of at least one that I have had to work with.)

    If you want respect, decline all racial and gender preferences and demand to be evaluated solely on your ability. Put it in writing on your program applications and restate it in interviews. When people make such remarks to you, tell them politely that you have formally declined preferential treatment and will be competing based on merit alone.

  • 1 decade ago

    It's only a fact. I live in Ontario, Canada. Good luck to white female who wants to become a teacher.

    They are looking for "minorities" and males.

    They want to try to make teachers be more multicultural and not so stereotypical of being all women.

    It's just a fact that it will be easier for you to get into certain programs because you are an African-American women.

  • 1 decade ago

    I have had white men tell me the same thing. They don't think it's fair (jealous) that anti-discrimination laws are in effect, or that colleges and companies respect this.

    If they could walk a mile in my shoes, lol...

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