I'm concerned that my son has a secret girlfriend?

My 17 year old son has been very secretive with me lately, recently he has started to refuse to go to church with the family and tonight when I was going through his room I found a magazine with naked men in it. He obviously has a girlfriend that he is hiding from me that brought that magazine into my home and I am afraid they are having intercourse and I am greatly concerned that he is going to get her pregnant.

What should I do about this?


He is not a homosexual, we have taught him from the bible and he has learned though our church that this is not in God's plan. I will not teach him about condoms, that is unacceptable, we have always taught him about abstinence and that is what God and his future wife expects from him.

I want to speak to our pastor about this but I am very afraid of what he would think we are teaching our son if he things we are allowing him to sneak a girl into his bedroom. That is clearly inappropriate and we are good parents, I am very afraid what he will think of us.

99 Answers

  • 6 years ago

    Hi Bethany, honey your son's gay whether you like it or not. Being homosexual is not a sin and if you were truly Christian you wouldn't be eating shellfish or wear clothing made from two different types of cloth. You should learn to be more open minded, you don't even know for sure that god even exists and yet you use him as an excuse to be close-minded and kind of stuck up if I'm honest. He has a magazine with naked men in it for gods sake take a hint also he is a 17 year old boy he has a lot of hormones running through him, he's probably also masturbating. As to what you should do about this: Let him know that you know but also you should let him know that it is okay to be homosexual. Boys are 4 times more likely to commit suicide than girls and if you don't accept your son the way he is then you are a horrible person because I'm sure the bible taught you to love your children. Unlike popular belief, you can't choose if you're gay or not, if you don't believe me then consider this: why would anyone choose to be shut out from your family and called a disgrace and be bullied on a daily basis?

  • matten
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Secret Girlfriend

  • 7 years ago

    I'm know I'm late on answering, but I really feel you need to read what I have to tell you.

    Think about the odds of your son's girlfriend buying let alone bringing a naked men's magazine - and then not take it with her. Wouldn't he have returned it immediately if it really was hers? He's in his teenage years and whether he follows a religion or not, he will be questioning his sexuality (right or wrong). He is learning about himself and is probably going through a difficult period where he is transitioning into a man.

    Give him time to find himself. It's okay for him to experience things until he discovers his likes and dislikes. If he truly isn't gay, he will find it out on his own. Despite your beliefs, you should still support him through all his choices and lifestyle.

  • 6 years ago

    Your Son Is Gay Because Why Would His So-Called Girlfriend Bring A Magazine Full Of Naked Men When She Can See Your Own Son Naked?

    Being Gay Is A Sin But If You Truly Love Your Son You Would Accept Him As He Is.

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  • edie
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Bethany, in the first place why were you going through your son's room. doesn't he deserve to have privacy in his space? then you say that you found a book with naked men, then why would you think he is sneaking girls in his room. usually a guy would have books of naked women for you to suspect that he is fooling around with a girl. some thing don't sound right with that. if you think your son is doing some thing off key and you want to talk to your pastor your pastor is not suppose to pass judgment on you. he is there to try to help you to figure things out. if he judges you then he is the wrong kind of pastor. another thing too if your son has a girlfriend he is at the age that he would be interested in girls and there is nothing wrong with him having a girlfriend. but if you have taught him against having sex before he gets married then he will be mindful of his teachings. just because he has stopped going to church don't mean that he has a girl friend. you need to try to talk to him and find out why he has stopped going to church before you accuse him or assume that he has a girl friend and mistrust him and thinking that he is going to get a girl pregnant. think it over you may be worried over nothing

  • 6 years ago

    He is gonna be 18 in less than a year so its his life. What is the problem with getting a girlfriend when you are 17. I am 14 and i had a girlfriend and my mom knows it too. My mom is also very controlling but not when it comes to relationships. I also dont go to church that often anymore. I used to go every week and now i just dont want to. I am not gay. I am 100% hetereosexual but i also dont go to church. Personally i also would never be gay but i dont care if other people are it. Its their life, not mine. And to the mag with naked guys, well it could have been a misunderstanding. Like sometimes i just grab a mag or something and put it in my room. If i see gay stuff, then yeah i will throw that **** away but you cant be so controlling especially with a 17 year old.

  • 6 years ago

    He could have a girlfriend so just ask him. And he probably knows how to put on a condom because he's a 17 year old boy and its not rocket science. And if he doesn't show him. If he is homosexual there is nothing wrong with it and you teach him that its okay not that god wouldn't like him that way.

  • 7 years ago

    A lot of people have commented on this all saying the same thing. I'm not going to do much different. So just ditto all that.

    But, the thing I find off about this is that you appear to be so strict. How on earth would he bring a girl in if you are so overbearing and controlling?

    In this day and age you won't need to teach him about condoms. Trust me, he already knows.

    Also, your teachings can only go so far. There is a whole world of people outside your front door, and any single one of them can make a life changing difference in your son's life.

    I'm sorry mom, your son is his own person and you have to accept it.

    Source(s): Everything
  • 7 years ago

    I don't think you know much about your son. No guy that has a girlfriend has a magazine of naked men in their bedroom. maybe he is gay and doesn't want to go to church because of this reason. you can preach what God wants from him but its his life and he will choose his own path. Speak to your son first before you go to your pastor. If I were your son I'd be very pissed the way you are handling this. SPEAK TO YOUR SON. Personally who are you to spread word about your sons business to everyone. Its not about them

  • 6 years ago

    1. going through your son's stuff

    2.thinking being gay is a sin

    3. thinking your son cant have a girlfriend

    this is a list of things you did wrong and were wrong for

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