Anonymous
Anonymous asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

請幫改我的英文自傳

最近要找工作 自己寫了一份英文自傳

寫完覺得有點怪怪的 不知道文法那邊出問題

或者還要加那些比較好

麻煩英文高手幫我看一下 謝謝

最好的贈20點 謝謝

To whom it may concern:

My name is XXX, the age of 29, my star sign is Libra. There are 3 people in my family, mother, younger brother and I, we lead a very harmonious family life. I graduated from chili college. My major is Secretariat and Commercial Document Management.

I had already worked in the same firm more than 8 years, after I graduated. The first of this year i quit my job and went to Australia for 7 months, studied English and enjoyed my life in Melbourne, I did not feel regret, even i know the job is very difficult to find after i back Taiwan, and i think i can get a good job in the future.

In my spare time, I like to read books. I think reading could enlarge my knowledge. I also like to travel and watch movies, and now i am studying in language school and try to get a high score about Toeic.

I believe my skills, experiences and abilities fit the description of the person you are seeking. I would welcome the opportunity to hearing from you. Thank you very much.

Sincerely,

4 Answers

Rating
  • ted
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    To whom it may concern:

    My name is XXX, aged 29. (不用說星座老闆部會管這個)(不適當) My family consists of three people: my mother, younger brother and I. We lead a very harmonious family life. I graduated from Chili College. I majored in Secretariat and Commercial Document Management.

    I had already worked in the same firm for more than 8 years since I graduated. At the beginning of this year, I quit my job and went to Australia for 7 months to study English. I enjoyed my stay in Melbourne, where I did not feel regret. Even though I knew it was very difficult to find a job after I came back to Taiwan, I believed I can still get a good job in the future.

    I like to read during my spare time. I agree reading can enhance my knowledge base. I also like to travel and watch movies. At the current stage, I am studying at a language school and trying to achieve a high score for Toeic.

    I have confidence in my skills, experiences and abilities will fit the description of an ideal employee you are seeking. I greatly look forward to hearing from you.

    Sincerely,

    這樣改應該沒文法錯誤.有些東西我改了讓語意通順.還有有些沒必要講的不用講.要述說重點才是道.

    祝成功~

    2008-12-30 16:09:43 補充:

    我建議省掉"We lead a very harmonious family life"

    2008-12-30 16:12:59 補充:

    樓上大大的quitted錯了

    Source(s): 出國5年的經驗, me, me
  • Elisa
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    #2's correct is accurate with only one grammar error.

    I have confidence "that" my skills, experiences and abilities will fit the description of an ideal employee you are seeking.

    confidence that + Noun Clause

    confidenece in + Noun.

    2009-01-02 22:19:25 補充:

    or

    confidence in + Phrase.

    For example:

    I have confidence in his ability to become the President.

  • 1 decade ago

    To whom it may concern:

    My name is XXX, the age of 29. There are 3 people as the family members, my mother, younger brother and I. I graduated from Chili College. My major is Secretariat and Commercial Document Management.

    After I graduating, I had already worked in the same field more than 8 years. I have quitted my job due to I went to Australia for 7 months. I decided to go there for studying English and I did have a wonderful time in Melbourne. However, I did not feel regret. Even I know the job might be very difficult to find after I went back to Taiwan, but I have faith that I can get a good job in the future.

    I like reading books during my spare time. I think reading could enlarge the knowledge. I also like traveling and seeing movies. Now, I am studying in a language school and trying to get a high score for TOEIC.

    Regarding to my skills, experiences and abilities will fit the description of your required. I truly hope I will have this opportunity to get this job. Hope to hear from you soon. Thank you very much.

    Sincerely,

  • pearl
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    提供你參考,相信會對你有幫助(內有面試秘訣文章):

    http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/jw!w6gPRaOCFQVCeNg8iHiY...

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