What is your funny quote?

What is your funny quote? Can you please tell me? If you have the funniest quote, you'll have 10 points!

43 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Nick Jonas

    "Yo, That's Illogical! I Can't Have It!"

    Mine

    How Do You Kill Ablonde Quickly?

    You Tell Her That There's A Scratch And Sniff At The Bottom Of A Pool!

    And IDK But Much More That I Can't Really Think Of Rite Now.

    Source(s): Sure Hope I Helped!!! Even Though I Have OJD And CWS I Still Help Out!!!
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  • 1 decade ago

    i have a few for you [:

    We all can't be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the sides and clap as they go by.

    Don't follow in my footsteps, because I run into a lot of walls.

    This isn't burger king, you can't have it your way.

    McDonald’s announced they will be adding 25 percent more beef to their hamburgers. As a result, McDonald’s hamburgers will now feature 25 percent beef.”

    A new study by the American Medical Association shows that having sex does not trigger a heart attack — it’s getting caught having sex that triggers the heart attack.”

    Men are like outhosues. All the good ones are taken and all the bad ones are full of crap

    Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

    hope these helped [:

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  • boy(to girl):why do you wear bras? You have nothing to put in them

    girl(to boy): why do you wear pants? You have nothing to put in them.

    this is one I found:

    Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. Variation(mine): All the good men are taken, gay, or fictional characters.

    I'm such a ****ing rockstar, and you love it

    Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

    I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

    "Damin Bloody Wolfblade."

    "Ah, still using my name as a curse, eh?"

    "You sold my soul to the God of Theives without even asking me. Damn right I'm mad."

    ~conversation between Damin Wolfblade and Starros, Warrior by Jennifer Fallon

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    “The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...

    ...and you finish off as an orgasm.”

    -George Carlin

    Source(s): That's my quote right there <3
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

    If at first you don't succeed then skydiving is definitely not for you

    When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

    I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places

    A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Girls are like phones. They love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

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  • 1 decade ago

    I have 3 quotes

    "only a fool tests the depth of the water with two feet"

    "nobody dies a virgin,life screws us all"

    And (my favorite)For when you get called a *****"a ***** is a dog,a dog barks, bark is on trees,trees are nature,and nature is beautiful, so thanks for the compliment"

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  • 1 decade ago

    it cant rain everyday, but if it does u make sure 2 not 4 get ur umbrella or ul b soaked..

    i never got it .. it something my grandmother used to say

    or

    u made ur bed now u lie in it

    like u made that choice now u live wit the consequenses

    Source(s): my life :)
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  • 1 decade ago

    "Life sucks and then you die. I should be so lucky."

    "You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie?Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool."

    "Hey, do you know what you call a blonde with a brain?"then continued

    A golden retriever."

    "S'not so hard to erase a blonde's memory,Just blow in her ear."

    "Have you heard this one, Psycho? How do a blonde's brain cells die?"

    "Have you heard this one, Psycho? How do a blonde's brain cells die?"

    She didn't say anything.

    "Well?" I asked. "Do you know the punch line or not?"

    She looked pointedly at the TV and ignored me.

    "Has she heard it?" I asked Edward.

    There was no humor on his tense face – he didn't move his eyes from Bella. But he said, "No."

    "Awesome. So you'll enjoy this, bloodsucker – a blonde's brain cells die alone."

    All from Jacob Black in Breaking Dawn...

    Hillarious

    Hates Rosalie, the Blondie, so he does this :)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Life is a highway, because it is so easy to get stuck behind semi trucks and morons.

    That describes the way I feel about life at the moment.

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