小卉
Lv 4
小卉 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

徵求修改英文看圖寫作(2篇)

國一學生班際比賽練習用,此為看圖寫作,由於無法提供圖,還請大家就寫作本身提供修改意見,謝謝!

Today is Sunday, Sara and her sister Helen are at home. And their parents are going to the baseball game. Sara asks Helen can she take a bath and then they can go to the movie theater to see a movie. So Helen quickly takes a bath and they went out. But when they are in front of the theater they see many people have been bought the ticket right away.

So they wait a long time, and after a few minutes, a kind young man comes to them and said:” You can not buy the ticket? “And they said:”Yes.” And the kind man gives them two tickets for the movie. On the way home they see their parents, so they go home with their parents.

On the way home they talk to each other for their fun things. Today is a happy day for their family!

Yesterday was Mer-Chi’s birthday, so we went to his house to celebrate the party. When we stepped in his house we felt all different. Because his house was been arrange already, so everybody were very amazed. We had sung English songs, play games and cards, and eat birthday cake and much candies and cookies. We enjoyed in it very much.

Then his mother came in and says: “Hello everyone, do you want to see the photo for Mer-Chi?” and everyone say:”OK!!” So his mother went downstairs to took the photo albums for us to browse. When we browsed down and everyone was laughing.

When we want to go home we gave gifts to Mer-Chi. And we said to him:” Happy Birthday!!” He thought that today might be his best birthday.

4 Answers

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    茲建議如下:

    (1) Today is Sunday. Sara and her sister Helen are at home and their parents are going to the baseball game. Sara asks Helen if she can take a bath and then they can go to the movie theater to see a movie. So Helen quickly takes a bath and they go out. But when they are in front of arrive at the theater they see many people are lining up to buy their tickets right away.

    So they wait a long time, and after a few minutes, before a kind young man comes to them and says, "You haven't bough your tickets, have you?" They answer, "No." And the kind man gives them two tickets for the movie. On the way home After the movie they come across their parents, so they go home together.

    On the way home they talk to each other about their fun things. Today is a happy day for their family!

    註: 全篇採用現在式敘述, 就應持續到底.

    (2) Yesterday was Mer-Chi's birthday, so we went to his house to celebrate for him. When we stepped into his house we felt something different. Because His house had been arranged already, so everybody was very amazed. We sang English songs, played games and cards, and ate birthday cake plus much candy and cookies. We all enjoyed ourselves very much.

    Then his mother came in and said, "Hello everyone, do you want to see the Mer-Chi's photos?" and everyone answered:”OK!” So his mother went downstairs to take the photo albums for us to browse. When we browsed down and The photos were so interesting that everyone was laughing.

    When we wanted to go home we gave gifts to Mer-Chi and we said to him, "Happy Birthday!!" He thought that today this might be the best birthday he had ever celebrated.

    註: 全篇採過去式敘述, 要注意時態的一致.

    Source(s): 自己; 英文文法
  • 小卉
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    謝謝所有達人們的答覆,真的很難選,每人答的都很有參考價值.只能對其他給予指導者說抱歉.

  • 1 decade ago

    Today is Sunday, Sara and her sister Helen are at home. And their parents are going to watch the baseball game. Sara asked asks Helen " Why do not you can she take a bath and then we they can go to the movie theater to see a movie". So Helen quickly took takes a bath and they went out. But when they are in front of the theater they see many people are there and they aer in line to buy have been bought the tickets right away.

    So they were waiting in line for a long time, and after a A few minutes later, a kindly young man came comes to them and said:” You can not buy the ticket.? “And they said:”Yes.” And the kindly man gave gives them two free tickets for the movie. On the way home they met see their parents, then so they went back go home together with their parents.

    On the way home they were talking about to each other for their fun things. Today was is a happy day for their family!

    Yesterday was Mer-Chi’s birthday, so we went to his house to celebrate his/her birthday the party. When we went to stepped in his house we felt all different. Because his house was decorated by him/her been arrange already, so everybody felt that were very amazing. We had sung English songs, played games, and cards, and eat birthday cake, and much many candies and cookies. We enjoyed the party and had good time in it very much.

    Then his mother came in and said: “Hello everyone, do you want to see the photo for Mer-Chi?” and everyone said:”OK!!” So his mother went the downstairs to take took the photo albums showed for us to browse. When we were looking at the the photos browsed down and while everyone was laughing of loud.

    Before we leave When we want to go home we gave gifts to Mer-Chi. And we said to him:” Happy Birthday!!” He thought that Today might could be my his best birthday, He thought.

    藍色自請刪除

    橘色請加上

    提供參考!!

  • 1 decade ago

    Today is Sunday, Sara and her sister Helen are at home. And their parents are going to the baseball game. Sara asks Helen can she take a bath and then they can go to the movie theater to see a movie. So Helen quickly takes a bath and they went out. But when they are in front of the theater they see many people have been bought the ticket right away.

    So they wait a long time, and after a few minutes, a kind young man comes to them and (said):” You can not buy the ticket? “And they said:”Yes.” And the kind man gives them two tickets for the movie. On the way home they see their parents, so they go home with their parents.

    On the way home they talk to each other for their fun things. Today is a happy day for their family!

    said在這裡應該使用現在式,否則與前後時態不相連

    Yesterday was Mer-Chi’s birthday, so we went to his house to celebrate the party. When we stepped in his house we felt all different. Because his house was been arrange already, so everybody were very amazed. We had sung English songs, (play) games and cards, and (eat) birthday cake and much candies and cookies. We enjoyed in it very much.

    Then his mother came in and says: “Hello everyone, do you want to see the photo for Mer-Chi?” and everyone say:”OK!!” So his mother went downstairs to took the photo albums for us to browse. When we browsed down and everyone was laughing.

    When we want to go home we gave gifts to Mer-Chi. And we said to him:” Happy Birthday!!” He thought that today might be his best birthday.

    play, eat 在這要用過去完成式.

    We had sung English songs, play games and cards, and eat birthday cake and much candies and cookies.

    這句ㄉ "and" 太多了,會讓人覺得很冗長 枯燥乏味

    Source(s): 自己對英文文法的認知範圍內
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