Why do men choose abortion over keeping a baby?
I'm pregnant and he swears he loves me, but he sees abortion as the only solution. I want to have this baby like I want to have my life! I found out not long ago, but I already love him/her. And killing him/her would kill me. I would never get over it. Let alone being able to continue to love my boyfriend. Why do most men simply disconsider the possibility of rasing a child even if your financial situation is not the best. He just ignores the happiness I will feel when I'll keep this baby and my grief if I will have to kill him/her?
- 1 decade ago
A lot of women see abortion as "the only choice" as well.
It just depends on the mindset of the person. Some people just can't handle the huge change a baby would bring-- financially or emotionally.
However, men don't have to make the choice to kill a life growing inside them. They may feel more disconnected. Although, I know a lot of men who wouldn't be able to live with that decision either.
I'm sorry you're in a tough spot. It is hard when your partner has the opposite view of something so important to you. Do what is right for you and your baby, and if it doesn't work out with your boyfriend there is a man out there who will love both you & your child.
I wish you the best of luck!
- gilliegrrrlLv 61 decade ago
I suspect it's because he didn't plan to have a baby in the first place. It's obvious this wasn't a planned pregnancy; you feel he's "ignoring the happiness you will feel when you keep this baby"- have you stopped to consider his feelings? Maybe he never wanted kids in the first place, had you considered that? Maybe he doesn't feel ready or equipped to love a child or even at least support it for the next 18 years-as he'd be legally obligated to do.
This isn't all about you at this point-it's about him, and how the future would look for that baby as well. You should think long and carefully rather than making a decision based on emotion, there are two other lives involved, not just yours.
Whatever the decision is, if you two continue your relationship it may be wise to have a long talk about reliable methods of birth control as well. I'd make it a priority.
- hhLv 61 decade ago
i've heard somewhere that women become mothers when they become pregnant, and men become fathers when they meet the baby. he does not feel the attachment that you do and so he will likely not be able to understand where you are coming from. he may also feel like his reasons for abortion are better than your feelings, which is his opinion. i'm married and our finances are ok, not great, and i know if i got pregnant, my husband would freak out, though he would not suggest abortion. it's normal, but i don't think it's a good reason for abortion. there comes a point where you just have to be responsible and make sacrifices. when he finally meets the baby, he may change his entire outlook, especially if he really loves you.
*while i agree with the first post, he's more that "just your boyfriend" - he's now the father of the baby, and his blood is part of that, too.
- 1 decade ago
First it is not his choice. it is yours if you want to keep the baby. The father will have to financialy support the baby if he marries you or not.
It would be a good idea to discuse your options with your parents also or a counseler or clergy. Once again it is only your choice that counts. Don't let anyone talk you into having a abortion. I belive every child has the right to live and you could consider putting the baby up for adoption. Good luck to you and your baby.
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- CourtneyLv 45 years ago
men choose abortion keeping baby
- toastedalmonddLv 41 decade ago
Maybe some men don't understand the emotional attachment a female has to the child inside her. They don't have to go through it so they can't relate. He may just see it as an easy solution to an untimely circumstance and he hasn't envision how it CAN work out. He's probaby just scared. My boyfriend was scared sh!*less when we found out I was pregnant, but he never once thought of abortion. He thought he had no clue how to be a good dad since his was a poor example. But he turned out to be a pretty good dad, he loves his boy and our son lights up when his dada arrives.
Don't dump him just yet. If your boyfriend loves you and you guys communicate, hopefully soon he will no longer have that thought. If both of you have good family support things will work out just fine. He will see.
You take care of yourself and your growing baby.
- 1 decade ago
Please do not get an abortion especially if that baby of yours makes you happy. Men want abortions because they are cowards and do not want to accept the responsibility of raising their own child because they are still a kid themselves They do not want to accept responsibilty or you may not be the person that they want to have a baby with or it could just be that they have somebody on the side and if you are pregnant then it is eventually going to come up to his other girl i am so sorry that i had to put it like this girl but i watched my older sister go through something very similar to this and i hope you do not have to go through it too.Enjoy your baby he or she is just a gift from god you would not be pregnant if it were not your time to be
- Lexxie ALv 51 decade ago
Well, sounds like you need to end the relationship.
He doesn't want a child, you do and you are set on having one...if you stay together it will be absolutely disastrous. An unwanted baby is going to make him miserable for life, and ending the pregnancy to stay with this guy will make you miserable for life.
How old are you two? I don't blame him for not wanting to be a father, maybe he never wants to be one or maybe he feels he is not ready yet. I also cannot blame you for wanting to be a mother. You both need to respect each other and agree upon a solution.
- 1 decade ago
men feel like they will never be as strong as a women when it comes to having a child because men never really grow up. They do not understand how your feeling because the baby isn't growing inside them... they see the belly as a ticking time bomb of what is left of there youth and freedom!! Try talking to him about whats making him want the abortion, although he loves you he is scared , so talk to him and if he really loves u he will understand...Source(s): life expierances
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Not all men are like that. And if you want it, have it. But don't expect that he will stick around. You might be raising this child on your own.