What happens every five minutes?
Lars Ulrich putting a hit out on a fifteen-year-old girl for downloading Master of Puppets.
Slayer being denied rehearsal space at Auschwitz.
Anthrax making another bad business decision that somehow includes surf shorts.
Dave Mustaine firing another band member in hopes of keep Megadeth “real”.
Lemmy from Motorhead doing two chicks at once and there being not a goddamned thing you can do about it.
Tool worshipping a weird alien demon creature with their drummer trapped in the 9th dimension just so they can make their next music video on MTV look cool… with body paint.
Kiss becoming that much closer to world domination.
Ozzy Osbourne making 1.21giga-dollars.
A member of Korn finding Jesus Christ…in the bottom of a bag of
Robert Plant and Jimmy Page swimming in pools of money.
Testament… What the **** ever happened to them?