I found a playboy magazine in my son's room... what should i do?
i was doing the laundry, went into his room and got his laundry basket and under the clothes,there was playboy!
should i tell him i found it, or should i just ignore it, forget about it?
he is 13, btw.
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Honestly, I'd let him keep the magazine. I'd rather my kid have porn than actually go out and have sex.
Make sure you talk to him about it though, he's at that age where he's going to start getting curious (obviously). Give him a talk about sex and all that good stuff.
- YetiLv 71 decade ago
Well, he's on the young side, but I'd ignore it.
The kid is going to need healthy boundaries when it comes to such things, and you can screw stuff up pretty bad right now if you start intruding or giving him guilt complexes or something. The kid's a warm-blooded American male and has a pulse. If you make a stink about that, he's just going to get even more curious and want to figure out what else is out there. I'd let it be. I'm sure a number of females might throw a fit, but every healthy male in their early to mid teens is one way or another going to have a Playboy or two stashed somewhere.
In addition, by ignoring it now, you'll likely be able to know in the future if he starts finding other stuff that's a lot worse. Make a fuss and he'll just find much better hiding places.
I'd figure out what your main concerns are and why on your own, and address them at another time and place. If you think he's seriously dating (or wants to), if he needs a generic birds and the bees talk, etc., you can bring those up without referencing the magazine. If he seems to start treating girls/women differently, hopefully you'll notice and can maybe understand a potential reason why and deal with it then. You might want to keep an eye out for how you think he may have gotten his hands on it, too. Though most kids can snag something from someone else's older brother, etc., etc., you don't want some lecherous adult/teacher somewhere being the one to give such things to him.
Anyway, I'd personally more-or-less ignore it for now, sit back, and essentially monitor the situation until you can figure out if there's any problem or simply something where you need to let a "healthy" boundary develop. I would try and make sure he doesn't go after harder stuff on the internet or start getting involved in (online) relations he shouldn't, however. Watch the internet use more than anything. Watch if there's any sudden change in who his friends are, his behavior, etc. I'd try to be a parent he can come to if/when he has questions or needs help more than anything else, and I do think that means sitting back and being quiet for now.
- 1 decade ago
If it bothers you throw it out, but don't make a big deal out of it. If his dad is in the picture have him have a talk with him..But have it be in the lines of "I unerstand your curious and those are some pretty girls< but you know, that's not what sex is all about..."
Do it nuturing, shaming him is the WORST thing you can do. THAT'S how sex addications and other perverted habits start-through shame.
Always reinforce that sex is healthy and natural but its more enjoyable, rewarding, more fun and actually will feel better when he is with someone he really knows and loves.
Also, on response to smiles, I agree there are a lot of areas in pornography that abuse women and are so awful. I wouldn't put the Playboy organization anywhere in there, and minus some scandles from the club iin the 70s due to bad managers of the clubs, former bunnies and playmates seem pretty OK. Playboy is actually run by a woman, Heff's oldest daughter is the CEO, and all the girls are treated very, very well.
Actually, if your son was reading something other then Playboy, I'd be concerned, PBs pics aren't over graphic or anyway degrading (I know this is in the eye of the beholder.) Usually its a pretty naked girl in a medow or bedroom, the most sexually out there thing is photos of multiple girls. They don't show penetration or abuse.
And, I'm not a teenage boy advocationg PB for boys, I'm a 33 yr old professional woman, who recently became a Playboy fan, with the avent of the show "the girls next door," its my one bad reality tv show addication. LOL
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Well, you could just throw it away, if you wanted to. Personally, I'd rather they looked at Playboy instead of all the junk on the internet -- at least there's no "action" going on, if you know what I mean.
If your family has deeply religious and/or philosophical aversions to this sort of thing, then by all means bring it up and simply say, "I'm sorry, but we don't allow this sort of thing in our home." No need to get hysterical about it -- there are very few 13 year olds who haven't at least glanced at porn. But how you handle it will set the stage for future talks about uncomfortable subjects.
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- JimLv 61 decade ago
What was it doing UNDER the clothing?
Where did he get it? From his dad?
I'd say, you should have left it in his room.
I'd say, don't say anything to him about it.
But maybe some time when you are having one of those mother-son talks, and punishment is not part of that talk nor the follow-up of it ... but just a nice talk ... and especially now that porn is so readily available on the Internet, maybe you should help him to know how degrading it is to humans and displeasing to He Who made the world and peopled it.
- 1 decade ago
all guys will read playboy eventually
dont be mad at him just make a joke and show him u found it
he isnt gonna stop reading them but at least you know that ur chill with each other
and if u dont flip he'll think ur cooler
13 year old guys are curious naturally
dont worry even if u scream at him about it now
he still is gonna figure it out
lol good luck
- My two centsLv 61 decade ago
Confront the issue, not him.
Have the "body is changing/ sex talk" with him. Mention how these magazines exist but how they do degrade women and don't promote healthy relationships.
He'll get what you're saying with out the embarrassment of knowing you found out he looked at this.
- 1 decade ago
I suppose be somewhat happy to know that maybe you will be a grandma in the future rather than ray and tray having to adopt. I'd ignore it. You dont want him to think you are spying on him.
- 1 decade ago
Ignore it, it would embarrass him if you called him out on it. But, if you have not already taught him the ins and outs of safe sex and how to protect himself you need to do so A.S.A.P. It is very important that he knows this information, especially if he is interested in sex, which obviously he is.
Good Luck! =D
- cute redheadLv 61 decade ago
Honestly I would throw it a way.
And sit your son down and talk to him.Or have his dad talk to him.I know it is normal for teens to be curious about sex and stuff but sex is something that 2 people should do when they are in love.
That's what my mom always did.My brothers would get in trouble for it.
And my grandma if she found it.She would say that stuff is ugly and go on about how god wouldn't want little boys to learn about stuff that way,