Remaining part of my answer.?

Assalaam-o-Aliekum,

last week I answered this question http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApOFa... Characters exceeded the limit & last portion of my answer didnt appear there.

I got few msg of those who appreciated & wanted to read it completely , So i m putting it here for them.

if you are reading it first time then plz send your views about my thoughts , did I highlighted Muslimahs problems correctly?

Allah Hafiz

Here You go:

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SOME THING ABOUT REVERTED WOMENs. ( its not related with above answer but to American reverted Muslimahs)

After to revert in Islam mostly Masjids Immediately offers them proposals (mostly proposals are overseas ) so these Muslimahs do accept a proposal after to aviod Age, Race, color, language,Culture ,status difference & dont give periority that is he living in US legally or not?

The Majority of InterNational students or illegal immigrants get marry with converted muslimah JUST for US Citizenship while the purpose of Mostly frustrated Married/single ARABS & Some Desi AMERICAN CITIZENS is to play with them like a toy after to achieve their purpose they all dump them as we through a tissue/toilet paper after to use.

Why Converted Muslimahs are HOT FOVORITE for them?

Reason #1) They dont demond Dowery , Even in one dollar they get ready for Nikah after to hear a fake story from Half Imams about the Dowery of Fatimah (R.A) Bint-e-Mohammad (SAW).

Reason # 2 )Mojority of them obey their mean husbands & silently bear all abuse victims , their husbands want them to obey more than Allah (swt) for this they give an example that :- If its was not SHIRK then Allah would order to wife to do SAJDAH to her husband.

Reason # 3 ) Mostly Muslim Men Say : This is in the Quran, THAT MEN are ALLOWED TO BEAT WIVES , TO MARRY WITH 4 WOMEN at same time . Unfortunately converted muslimah accepts all these things.

These type of men who say above things always feel that their wives are property, like livestock. The object is to control the stock and use it as they wish , for this they do wrong Explaination of Quran + Hadith & misuse islam for thier own personal benefits .

When A converted Muslimah does'nt see a hope & lost her patience then she use Divorce As LAST OPTION but she does'nt raise her voice against these abuse victims.

AMERICAN WOMEN ARE INDEPENDENT but WHY CAN'T THESE WOMEN SPEAK UP after reverting to ISLAM against abuse victims. Few below general reasons could be in mostly cases.

I: Most families become mean when the woman reverts to Islam. After marriage, when she faces bad behaviour that is unexpected for her then She doesn't find any help in the Muslim Community. She can't go back to her own, non-muslim family because they do not support her decision to revert to Islam. They laugh at the traitor who is now asking for their help.

II:. She doesn't try to get any legal help because she doesn't want to soil the image of Islam in a non-muslim society just because of the behaviour of one man.

III: Muslimahs are not aware from those rights which Islam has given to a women.

Only Islam gives a lot of rights to women . If women were aware of these rights and asked their men for these rights then the men would pack up and leave the home.If muslimah cant demond her rights but surely she can stop her man from abuse, bcoz of her silence following problems are happening . Do you think that these women are the responsible for following problems?

1) After a divorce/in her presence ,When an abusive man gets married again, he become mean to his new wife bc the submissive behaviour of 1st wife given him courage.

2) Those who wish to be muslimah when they see a convtered abused muslimah in neighbourhood or in family then they become afraid to accept Islam.

3) Some good Muslim men get seduced when they see a Muslimah who bear all abuse silently,so they also become mean to their wives and they use the converted woman as an example for her wife .They say: if a converted muslimah obey her husband happily then why not you? ( Its happening I know personally)

I personally know those muslimahs who left Islam after abuse victims, those who goes to churches for Help bc masjids dont hv sources to support them , many are going to lose Islam : ( I hv researched & found a very simple solution to solve all matters of Muslimahs but dont hv next hour to share it here.

I wish I could stand all Mean Man in one line to fire them Pakistani Atom bomb bc there is no hope to make them correct bc Men's nature cant be changed ..(I think here im getting very emotional I must post this answer with this Message before I get more emotional).

VALUE OF A WOMEN IN ISLAM:

This couldn't be said more beautifully....

Be careful not to make a Women cry because ALLAH counts her tears.

A Women came o

Update:

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VALUE OF A WOMEN IN ISLAM:

This couldn't be said more beautifully....

Be careful not to make a Women cry because ALLAH counts her tears.

A Women came out of a man's rib not from his feet to be Walked on,

nor from his head to be superior over,

But From his side to be equal,

Under the arm to be protected and next to the heart to be loved!

Pass this to all beautiful women that u know and to men too so they know the value of a women.

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Attention ==>I know, many born muslimahs also facing abuse victims & all US citizen or born muslim men are not good & practising muslim.

But Here I just Highlighted THOSE American reverted Muslimahs who are suffering & I critisized Only Those Overseas Men who play with them.

More than 80 % revered women are suffering in USA after marriage : (

24 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
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    بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

    Walikumasslam Bill,

    Jazakallah Khairun for this great imformation.I have had an abusive islamic marriage which was arranged by the masjid with a weak arab -An abuser is surely a weak man.You had correctly pointed the problems .Yes, I completely agree with you. I know of three women who left Islam because of the issues you raised here.It's wonderful to see that you're very concerned because not every men out there would be as concerned as you are.Your fiancée is lucky to have met you.I read your profile; it says that you are engaged..Insh Allah all sisters in Islam will read and learn things from it,Thanks for enlightening us on this I'll spread your message.May Allah grant you jannaat Please tell us about the solution.You have raised the issues correctly; I hope that you have a good idea of how to solve the problems of Muslimahs.

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  • 1 decade ago

    waliakum salaam Bill

    This really touched my heart because I have had FOUR abusive Islamic marriages in the past.After I reverted to Islam, Imam pushed me to get married with a forty six years old Somalian when I was twenty one. This man did not want kids because he already had eight kids in Somalia. He was mentally and emotionally abusive towards me,After being granted permanent stay, he began to beat me which is why I got divorced from him..

    My 2nd husband was saudi he needed a home and I felt sorry for him he was nice until we were married and he suddenly became horrible.I had to get permission from him to go out .I was basically his slave when he went to the bathroom he took me with him to wash him. After the birth of my son he became more violent and he began to threaten to kill me. I had not planned on leaving I had no option but to leave. he used me for immigration.

    My 3rd marriage was bad from the begining.He had a problem in the brain he was a reverted American Muslim too,He used to beat my two years old son just for picking up a toy or laughing.He used me to get all of my salary and used me for a free babysitter and maid to clean house. Me and my son were suffering so I divorced him.

    The fourth one also used me for immigration he was an arab.After this divorce, I have decided not to get married again because of my marriages my son suffered a lot and now he needs my love and care.

    Yes,you are right that a man's nature can't be changed.

    What's the easy solution in your mind?

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    You have raised issues correctly and I would love for you to share a solution to the problems of Muslimahs.Believe me more than 80% women are suffering and they need help.

    May Allah Bless You in all you do.

    Source(s): In my own experiences after nine years of married life
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  • Sadia
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Salam bro,

    Like the others said, you really have touched on a lot of good issues here. Bu it's not only reverted Muslims that suffer, it can happen to Muslim women who are born Muslim, i know ppl who have suffered.

    It's really sad because it is so unislamic but i suppose this is one way of testing ppl by Allah. I think also, some of it may be cultural. Unfortunately in many places in the world culture clashes with Islam and ppl struggle to separate the two. I guess the only way to stop this sort of thing is by educating ppl and raising awareness.

    Islam is a beautiful religion and it's about time that ppl really took Allah's words serioulsy and act accordingly.

    Thanks again for raising these issues

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    wa alaikum salaam Bill,

    It is heart breaking that things like this happen within our ummah. May Allah(swt) please help these poor sisters who have been vistimized and brainwashed by these predators. Also, may Allah(swt) heal the disease that runs in the hearts of men who do such horrible things, AMEEN.

    With that being said...

    I myself am a revert, and I am happily engaged to a wonderful brother. I am by no means saying that I am an expert in the field of marriage (seeing as I am not married yet...but soon insh'Allah!), and perhaps my situation is unique, but I have never been approached for marriage by a brother in the masjid I attend, nor have I been set up with anyone through the imam. I met my future spouse myself (in a halal way, of course). Sisters, especially revert sisters, should not feel that they need to marry just any man that gets pushed in front of her, either by the imam, or her family, simply to get approval. Perhaps these women got married because they felt the need to "prove" that they are "good muslims"...which is absolutely ridiculous. Any environment in which a revert feels the need to prove herself/himself Islamically is NOT an Islamic one. May I remind people that "there is no compulsion in religion"? Islam has to come from within you.

    I think it is partially the fault of the Islamic community the woman is in, and the fault of the abusive husband. It is the fault of the Islamic community in these situations for the following reasons:

    1. Not providing the woman with a safe environment where she feels like she can go to get support and advice. If we don't provide a safe, loving, supportive Islamic environment for women who are victims of spousal abuse, ultimately these women are going to turn elsewhere for support. We need to take care of our sisters, people!!

    2. They put this poor woman in this situation in the first place. In my humble opinion, neither the members of the masjid, not the imam should be pressuring the woman to marry right away. Seriously, wait until the sister mentions that she is looking for a husband...THEN approach her.

    3. It is also the community's fault for not condemning spousal abuse...which, might I add, is AGAINST Islam. If nobody speaks out about these injustices, and nobody is willing to DO anything about it, it is almost like we are saying that we are okay with the abusive husband's behavior towards his wife.

    It is the abusive husband's fault because:

    1. He is taking advantage of his wife's innocence, and is exploiting the fact that she is new to Islam. Basically, they are perverting the religion in order to justify their own means. This is sick...absolutely SICK.

    2. He is NOT following the Qur'an and sunnah, and therefore, is NOT fulfilling his duty as a Muslim man. Shame on him.

    Situations like these are rare; however, we should make it so that stuff like this NEVER happens.

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  • 1 decade ago

    As a British revert I was never offered any such proposal ever. I am a married woman now but it had nothing to do with any Masjid interfering. I did get a dowry and would never stand for a man abusing me. My father did not abuse me, my mother did not abuse me and in no way would i ever marry or stay married to a man who abused me. I am a strong woman and in Islam and in my country I know my rights.

    Abuse goes on in all nations in all races and religions. If a man is an abuser its not about faith its about him needing control. My husband always says "what kind of man needs to beat a woman?" A weak man that's for sure. The beating described in the Quran for anyone who knows it in context and correct meaning does not mean you have permission to beat your wife but when all other avenue's are exhausted as a symbol to show her how far she has taken you, you may beat her with a stick no bigger than a TOOTH PICK and my not strike her face or hard enough to leave a mark. Now that is a pretty long avenue of all other steps before you come to this and even if a husband did go this far, a tooth pick I mean come on people put things in perspective.

    My family are 100% behind my reversion and support me totally, they are Protestant/ Christian and my faith has never been an issue for them.

    Sorry but I have no personal experience myself of any reverts I know who have gone through what you describe. I am a strong woman I know my faith and I know my rights. I would suggest anyone reverting to Islam gets to know there rights with regards marriage, dowery, and the love, kindness, support and protection a husband within Islam is to provide.

    I am in no way blind to say abuse does not happen in Islam it does but its not Islam that teaches it and I have a Catholic cousin who's husband beat her black and blue should I blame Catholisism or the abusive husband? I know who I blame.

    I pray Insha Allah any woman oppressed or abused gets help but I dont connect the two sorry. I know nothing personally but strong women in Islam who are all well aware of there rights.

    Peace to you, Eid Mubarak.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hi

    1st : I'm soo srry cause of that reason you know

    2nd : I would like to thank you cause you sympathatic with women i don't know why ) and that's good thing not all men could be like this ..

    3rd :( i'm just 15 years old and i don't know much info about marrige ..in my country girls get marrige at 25 ) all info you listed here right one great and it's the truth soo all women should be carefull by there chooses ..

    if i were that women ( reverted to islam ) i would not get marry before i got job or sth i could live from .. cause men are not trustworthy ( whtever they are muslims or not )

    ok my friend Bill i would call my friend she's older than me and i think she will give great opione she i open-minded more than me in these suit ...

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  • 1 decade ago

    sallaam brother

    this was very moving

    i was in a ten year marriage and althoufgh he was never physically abusive to me but he was very much so mentally and emotionally abusive now to some ppl that may be nothign but until you actually go through it and watch your children change characters and you ypurself change as a person you cant say anything

    my husband was also from "back home" but it is true once he was granted permanant stay he did change i also thpought he is my husband and i have to make it work no matter whatr as if it was not shirk i would do sajdah to him so i became very submissive and basically did what i was told

    islam does not say that we are not equal

    husband and wife are equal but in different ways they both have very different roles but with the same amount of responsibilities

    islam does not say that women are not allowed to express thier views or opinions and that they must do as their husbanmd says or els..

    as a woman i used to think what is it that i am doing wrong islamically that my mariage is fasiling i am not praying enpugh am i not conversing with him am i not lookin gafter himn and his kids but its not about that it is not alwys the womans fault it the way the cookie crumbles sometimes we have to fall very deep down before we can get up and reach the sky

    Source(s): me and life
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  • 1 decade ago

    I think what you are doing, what you are raising awareness of, is GREAT! But the thing is, in the US, it isn't just Islam women who are going through all that pain and abuse. It happens CONSTANTLY, and the abuse in general needs to stop. My mom was a victim of a very abusive husband. She has never told me WHY she stayed with him, but I know that for her, she was 18, and she was raising a kid, and had nowhere else to go. She moved with him across the country, ended up having another kid with him, and was still too scared to leave him. She eventually took a stand for herself and left him, but stuff like that happens all the time and the women are just too scared to leave.

    I think what you are doing is great, and I really hope that you do your best to do more than just post this. You could make a difference with this.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Brother,,In islam the sin of abusing is same as suffering it.Allah has not bound you to be in a bitter relation with any abusive man,,,she should leave him and live happy she deserves happy life rather than life of suffering...

    I know its hard to suffer ,I know what the experience would be but emotional and practical life are different.......

    Ans if any man leaves his wife in ignorance after abusing ,,there is a hadith saying"the earth and sky get afraid of the punishment he will go through but being injust in giving divorce"

    Imagine earth and sky who suffer so much gets afraid.....I think that man is a big looser here and in the aakhirah....

    Living life with patience and self respect is what every woman should do......rather than converting from islam.

    Conversion should be done by looking at the best examples of islam :like wifes of prophet(pbuh)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think you got a lot of stuff wrong in your answer and a small number of things right.

    The Muslimah you describe in the second part of your answer, point II, she's been brain-washed and is telling lies for the religion, but it's not really for the religion, it's for the abuser, that's how severly brain-washed she is. A woman like that is living Islam more like a cult than a religion and she needs to be de-programmed as they do with people who get brain-washed into cults. The idea that non-Muslims believe Islam is full of perfect people and she will tarnish the image of Islam if she exposes her abuser is of course a crock of **** that her abuser brain-washed her into believing. She is in desperate need of escape from the abusive situation. He'll eventually kill her and call it justified.

    I don't care if her abuser is the Imam himself, he's brain-washed her and she needs to get out.

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