My ex partner opposing moving me moving abroad with our child even though he signed away contact over two year?

My ex left me and my daughter when she was 18th months old he had never bonded with her and always told me he never wanted her he only had her to shut me up so I would let him get on with his own life! Six months later I met my now husband who is the most amazing man in the world my ex found out about this and caused us so much grief he didn’t want us but nobody else could have us either. he took me to court to get a parental responsibility order and a contact order even though I had never stopped any contact when he could be bothered which was hardly ever. The courts ordered a interim contact order and during this time he treated my daughter really bad some contacts he would see her other times he would say he busy or unwell but still go and play golf! He played with her mind emotionally telling her things like I was going to leave her, my new partner and my son were paedophiles in front off me, he tried to turn my daughter against us he would put it in her head that her brother had kicked her down the stairs then he would have social services at my door he told me at court that he was going to make sure that my daughter was taken away from me and put in foster care! Every time I took my daughter for contact he would start shouting and verbally abusing me in front of our child to the extent my child was fearful of him and use to lock herself in the bathroom and refuse to go. Also id like to point out that he had a harassment order in place against us due to stalking and harassing us! As soon as the court gave him his parental responsibility order he withdrew his order for contact YES he never wanted the contact he used and messed up my little girls head just so that he could continue to control my life! We were then advised to move by the police due to the fact of the stalking we were receiving from this my ex. I then gave up my job of office manageress to stay at home and help my child get better especially with her fear of men after this experience it has taken me over two years now to get my child to gain confidence and to talk to men! My child turned to my husband and said the other children have daddy’s please can u be my daddy so for over two years now she has looked upon my husband as her father and has a tremendous bond with him. We returned to our old house a year later with my ex living down the road who never bothered with our child still. My husband then got offered an amazing job working in the middle east after a lot of soul searching and due to the fact that my husband is the construction industry and the was very little work for him we decided after great discussion with the children and looking in to the better quality of life this was the way forward for us. My ex heard about this and has put in to court that he wants a prohibited steps order to stop me changing our daughters name full stop then as a after thought in different coloured pen wants contact. He is opposing my child moving abroad by saying I am always moving to keep our child away from him yet it was him that signed away his child in court over two years ago by saying he didn’t want contact and when our child reaches 18 if she wishes she can contact him. Now I have cafcass involved in our life saying that I haven’t promoted my Childs father to her what was I suppose to say oh by the way that’s your dad but he don’t want to see you!!! When my ex decided that he didn’t want to see our child the case was just dropped nobody helped me with what my child had been through or advised me how I deal with it just left me to pick up the pieces. What I am suppose to tell my child my husband and I have spoke about this and had decided that we would when my child was around 8 years old. Yet I feel like now I am having to suffer as I didn’t do what they expected from me yet we have given my child back her confidence a loving home My child knows she has two dads as she has mentioned before but does not want to see him as he is not nice yet when carcass are here she says she only has the one dad. My husband is now working abroad and we are going through the courts at the moment to move over there and this is killing us all being apart. The children and myself have been out to stay with my husband on several occasions and they love it over there and want to move desperately we can see so many positives in which this move would benefit the children’s lives. Do you think the courts will stop us as he is opposing us going by saying we keep moving to keep our child away from him?

10 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago

    This is typical selfish man behaviour. He just wants everything to be about him. He's not thinking of his child at all or he'd have broke his neck to get to those visits with her. He wouldn't have missed any chance to be with her if his feelings matched the legal action he is proposing to take. But, you know this already. You've already missed a lot of chances to show him up for what he is whilst he has made every move to his benefit. When he was telling disturbing lies to your daughter, YOU should have called in social services and asked for an order to stop him seeing her. Scaring a child like that is abuse and should be dealt with. It's time you started getting every piece of his negative behaviour recorded officially. You must get in contact with authorities yourself from now on. Invite them into your life to protect your daughter from her father so that he is investigated and his behaviour from now on will be monitored and recorded and then can be used in your court case. As for moving. Get on with your life and go. Don't put anything on hold. The sooner your family is settled and happy in their new enviromnent, the less likely the courts will want to uproot them.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    i think that you have every right to move if this is how he has been treating you, the court will have seen that the last case was dropped and will know that your child is now happy again and i dont think they will stop you from going also the police advised you to move away from here!! he sounds like a complete low life!! i hope things sort themselfs out for you how you want!!

    Wish you all the luck!! xx

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • reggie
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Theoretically he can oppose your move because he has parental responsibility

    He would be unable to prove that you kept moving in order to prohibit contact.

    Depending on the age of your daughter, the Court's do listen to their opinions.

    From what you have written I think it is possible the Court will tell him to fukc off, in the best interests of the child of course.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Rena D
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I have only one question. Why did you tell him? Why not just move because after you have gone there is nothing he can do about it. You are the parent in control stop listening to him. He is out. I wish you the very best and your husband and daughter and to be very happy.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    I hope not, he sounds like a nasty piece of work. If the courts are aware of everything then I'm sure they'll allow you to go. I'm glad you and your children have found such a wonderful man to take care of you. Good luck!

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Meggie
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Thats long,en u have been repeating yourself,anyway i think in all this u should get a good lawyers ,who will be strong in all this,i think u should just do the best thing for the chindren also better you stay away from tha losser

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    You need to counsult your lawyers and tell them this. Only they will be able to offer you the best advice. As for my own opinion, your ex is really horrible. Having him around will not benefit your daughter. You need to keep this in mind.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    he cant do anything about it, if he signed her over in court he has no parental responsibilities, you and your husband can do what ever you like and he cant do a thing!!!

    im going through a similar thing with my ex, somehow i managed to sign my son over without actually knowing about it or going to court, and ive been told i have no right to him

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    This sounds like a nightmare, although I dont understand why he has a say in anything if he signed over his parental rights???

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    There are two sides to every question,you are not perfect, so think of all the people involved before you think that the grass is greener elsewhere

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.