I am having my husband's baby but?

I don't want her. I know it sounds horrible but my husband forced himself onto me time and time again and then I eventually got pregnant. He is indeed a Muslim man with strong beliefs. I am a Christian woman. I explained to him that I will not allow our baby to have any religion. I guess I was raped. I have dispised my husband ever since the day he laid hands on me. What to do?

Update:

I am thinking of a termination and then telling him I lost the baby. I only have 3 months to go.

Update 2:

My husband is aggressive and he pushed himself onto me to have his child. I don't want children at the moment. I am only 20 yrs old. He is quite a bit older. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I was taking birth control but he found them and threw them down the toilet. When we were first married he was charming, sweet and knocked me off of my feet but 2 yrs into our marriage, he's changed into a beast.

Update 3:

I was thinking of getting a divorce and moving back to Australia but he said he'll find me somehow, someway. I'm frightened.

Update 4:

I know someone who can abort the baby. We have very close, powerful friends. I am 6 months pregnant.

Update 5:

He even swore the Koran that he'd find me if I ran away from him.

Update 6:

Believe me, please. My question is very genuine. I need some help people.

Update 7:

True Creed: He actually swore on the Koran that he'd find me if I ran from him. I'm scared and I don't know what to do. I don't know anything about the Islam faith besides what my husband practices. I've met his family a couple of times and they don't like white, western women and my family don't want to know me because I married a Muslim man.

Update 8:

Don't you think that for the last 6 months this has been eating me up? A friend told me about Yahoo Q&A and said to see what people can advise you, so I am looking for honest advise. Thank you. I am brand new to Yahoo.

Update 9:

Wow! some people are really mean on here. I came to this section looking for honest advice from Muslims but I think I should head towards the Christian section now. Thanks for nothing most of you.

Update 10:

My husband is from Morocco but has lived in the USA for a number of years.

37 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    hi ya,

    don't listen to some of these rude people on here. if you're genuinely looking for help, you need to call the police and they can advise you on a woman's shelter. i say keep the baby and get as far away from this monster. good luck.

    p.s muslim men aren't supposed to behave in this manner, but sadly, some of them do.

  • 1 decade ago

    Ok... firstly an abortion at 6 months is illegal I think and so if you had one from your friend it would probably be unsafe and could kill you! I really don't think you should go through with it. Can I ask where do you live now? I don't encourage divorce but if your husband is genuinely abusing you, you should get out! However if it is just a matter that you don't see eye to eye (which is common, especially in mixed race/cultural relationships - I am in one myself) the you need to try everything you can to save your marriage for you and the baby... Try reading the surrendered wife by Laura Doyle, I swear by this book it really has helped my marriage and there are online forums you could join to, another one that's supposed to be good is 'the proper care and feeding of husbands'.

    I honestly hope you do the right thing and I am sure you will... getting cold feet before a baby is common but once you have her you will love her unconditionally I am sure.

    If you live in the US then you should go to a womens shelter if you feel you are in danger, I dont know if you can fly all the way back to Australia while 6 months pregnant... But at least in the US you are protected as far the law goes, if he thratens you you can get a restaining order.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think it's too late for termination! You'll have a beautiful, healthy baby and regret that you ever thought of termination. Your marriage situation is another story. He's 'quite a bit older that you'. So I guess he's set in his ways. That's too bad. Too bad for you and for the baby and for him. He needs counseling from a MUSLIM professional. Your husband would reject any other counseling so if the counselor is not MUSLIM, he will not try. But with a MUSLIM -(male), he'll give it a shot. I wish I could give you more advise, but I'm stuck. So Sorry. I hope that somehow you can finesse you husband into getting the help that you both need.

    ps. The Koran is a Muslim's guide to everything in life. It can be used to benefit you & your baby & your marriage. That's why I keep insisting on a MUSLIM councilor or shrink.

  • 1 decade ago

    You cannot get an abortion for a 6 month pregnancy just like that. It has to be severe medical reasons, they dont just give them willy nilly. In the UK the legal limit for abortion is 24 weeks and its some of the latest in the world even then you have to give birth to the child after they have injected it and killed it causing pain and distress to the child. Do you know what its like to give birth? Do you know what a sad heartbreaking sight it is to look at a 24 week old baby dead? Do you know on another ward they are struggling to save its life at this gestation and you just want to kill your baby because "you dont want her".....

    I cannot believe this is a genuine question. If your a christian like you claim not only is it against your faith if nothing else.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hi, Why don't you leave him, go back to Australia and if you really don't want your baby then have her adopted, if he does find you then you could tell him you lost the baby if you are so frightened of him get out now. If you have an abortion now it is far too late and you risk losing your life as well as your baby dying. You should have had the implant that stops you from getting pregnant or the injection that works the same way, that way he would not have found your birth control. It must be a terrible situation for you to be in, sometimes you learn the hard way. But i would simply disappear not tell anyone at all where you are going that way he cant trace you at all.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    What country are you in? You must go to the police! At least here in the UK rape is rape whether he's your husband or not. Go to the police, and file for divorce. You can't love him after he's done this to you and you owe him nothing. If you really don't want the baby then have a termination, it's YOUR life, not his. Have you got any family, a parent or a sibling, or even any close friends that will help you through this?

    I feel awful for you but you have to get out of this relationship NOW. To stay with this man would be stupidity.

  • 1 decade ago

    1st of all sister regarding ur life if i ask u suppose u have a car that its 2 wheels are one from a bicycle and one from a truck,how much it will continue and how much distance this will cover?

    life is same like that u have different believe he has different believe and of course there would be many problems created by such situation and also ur husband dont love u if he has knowledge of islam because he know u would burn in the hell fire but still he never invites u to the way of lord and the way of rightousness

    005.086 But those who reject Faith and belie our Signs,- they shall be companions of Hell-fire

    Today, I have perfected for you your Religion, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your Religion

    The Holy Qur'an, Chapter 5, Verse 3

    To those who reject Our Signs, and treat them with arrogance, no opening will there be for them of the Gates of Paradise, nor will they enter Paradise until the camel can pass through the eye of a needle: Such is Our Reward for those who sin

    The Holy Qur'an, Chapter 7, Verse 40

  • 1 decade ago

    If you live in the US go to the police there are laws against abuse towards women and they will help you get counciling and if needed a free place to stay where you will be safe from your husband. There are excellent domestic violence help centers all accross the US. If your husband raped you it's a cime and you need to get help. Look under domestic violence in your muslim yellow pages or google Dorcas House it is in Little Rock, Arkansas. It will give a number to call. Ask for a woman named Terry. She can help you. She knows many contacts. And as I have just learned from Answers you can divorce your husband if he is mean to you in any way. you do not have to stay in the relationship.

  • 1 decade ago

    Your husband has no right to be aggressive over you. What did you think of marriage is for if not to live as a family and to having kids! That's you mistake to marry then go for an abortion. Abortion is prohibited in both the religions. Better discuss with those responsible, your parents etc to solve problems. We don't know who you are and where you live. There are marriage and divorce laws and rules and your husband must obey that, unless you live somewhere in the African jungles.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Where in the world are you living now? You can get help if you are in the west and kick his bum bum.

    If you are in a Muslim country contact your family back in Australia and tell them to get you out of there.

    He is not a good husband no one can force you into sex or having a baby when you are not ready.

    You can't abort the baby now, you can give him the baby once you get out of the marriage I'm sure he would raise her. You might also end up changing your mind once you see your baby.

    edit:

    If you live in the U.S.A than why the hell are you in such a relationship?

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    im sorry for what happened,

    but now you must think of this baby this human inside you. has a soul has personality has a right to live.

    dotn be a murder. your act will be no different to the parents who strangly their babies to death. you woudl be the same.

    and if your a chrisitian you know god will punish you never ever an excuse even after rape.

    its not in your hands anymore, your not in this alon becuase their is a life inside you who needs to live. its not your rght to kill this baby.

    :(

    im moroccan and this is not a reflection of how all men are.

    but i think its wrong for muslim men to marry christians or jews its not right... and allah doesnt bless the couple. so infact i think teh problems are due to doing a haram act and now this happend.

    sorry aagain but you cant do that to a human... its plain murder and you say your relgious? what religion... satanic??

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