hitori asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

my mom died when i was 18, and i'm 23 now.. but i never cried or got sad about it. am i a bad person?

she was so loving and caring for me, and i loved her back A LOT. but i was also kind of a brat and a jerk to her.

i also saw her die right in front of me but i still never shed a tear from it.

i had to fake crying and fake being sad/depressed so my family didn't think/know that i'm heartless or something.

10 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You aren't a bad person....your just not very emotional. That doesn't make you a bad person.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well, from my point of view ' not at all '. You are not a bad person. Off course, in the first place if you were a bad person you would not be here on Y!A asking this question. It shows what kind of a heart and mind you have - a reasonable one - Because you knew people cry when loosing loved one, you are feeling bad because you didn't for your mom. Even though a cry does represent a strong emotion over somethings but it does not necessarly mean every body has to cry. People discribe their emotions in many different ways other than by a drop of tear. And sometimes you can find people who have a weak emotional responce to situations and others have strong. You will find sometimes BIG people crying over an insult! So to make things short ask yourself if you felt bad at that moment or not. if you felt bad then you did love your mom you just had a dry eye

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i was the same way with my Grandma, i was a little sad but she was so old that i wouldn't talk to her or come around because she would sit and stare and i didn't know how to react. so i quit caring. i had to fake cry and be depressed too because my family thought i was heartless and didn't care either. i was more affected by deaths when i was little not now though because i am independant and 21 now. i was more insecure when someone died but now i am not. hope this helps but this was a tough question for me. another thing though is we can be in kind of a shock as to where we have no feeling til later which also happened to me or a denial kind of thing. i am sorry that happened to you though i would hate to lose my mom. i love her too much! i give my mom a crap load of grief too sometimes though because of issues that i have, but no you are not a bad person.

  • 1 decade ago

    Having seen her die may have had something to do with it. You saw the end process of life unfold before you; death, namely. So, it may have brought a form of closure to you that the other's did not have, in that respect.

    I'm not a professional, I am just going off a hunch that perhaps that was it. The reality though is that everyone experiences these things in their own way. Maybe it was shock, denial or disbelief that this had happened and you did not process it.

    Nonetheless, there is nothing wrong with you. But, I do think that you should consult someone with professional credentials that may help you to resolve the past. It will really help; trust me.

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  • 1 decade ago

    My mom died when I was 29, and I didn't cry until maybe a week later, after the memorial service. I loved her, and was in a state of shock when she left us, but I didn't have a fit. People are different. I wouldn't let anyone make you feel ashamed because you may not be as emotional as expected.

    But if I were you, I'd make sure of being ready to die myself. That's most important. If you died without the right relationship (no, not religion!) with your heavenly Father, you'd be very sad, and crying, forever. If you don't have this relationship, just ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart, to forgive you of any sin. Thank Him for dying for you. Tell Him you believe He's the Son of God who has risen from the dead.

    Keep the relationship going by:

    o Talking to God everyday about everything. Spend time alone with Him, ask for His help, in the name of Jesus Christ

    o Reading, meditating, and applying His Word daily from the Bible to your life. Start with St. John from the Message or Amplified Bible version.

    o Making friends at a local Bible-teaching, Holy Spirit-led church, where you can be encouraged in your walk of faith

    o Telling others about Jesus Christ.

    If you mean business with God, He'll come closer to you. He'll never leave you or forsake you as long as you stick close to Him.

  • 1 decade ago

    How can you be a bad person? Just because you did not cry does not mean you had no love for her. My uncle, my grandpa, my grandma and 3 of my cousins have passed, I have not cried because they are gone. I miss them and I still love them but I know they don't want me sobbing over something I have no control over.

  • 1 decade ago

    Nah. Sounds like it is coming to the surface just a bit later.

    Ya mum wouldn't want ya to be sad anyway eh.

  • 1 decade ago

    we all find our own time for that kind of thing.don't be angry.

  • 1 decade ago

    yes i think so

    you need help like the tin man

  • 1 decade ago

    You have mad ....

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