Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Should I worry about telling my wife?

My wife is entering her 9th month of pregnancy and having a few problems, but nothing major. To help her out with our son while I’m at work, her step mom has been staying with us for a couple of weeks now.

My wife and I have been sleeping in separate rooms this past month because I toss in my sleep. This keeps her up, and she desperately needs her rest. This morning I was lying in bed naked taking care of myself, when the door opened. I figured it was my wife, so I didn’t even look up. We have a cool relationship, and she like it when she catches me doing that to myself, but doesn’t like for me to watch her watching me. She says that I change the way I do it when I’m watching her. After a few minutes of me working it I was about to finish I looked back to see my wife’s step mom standing there watching me. At that point I messed everywhere. I was completely shocked. She didn’t say anything, and just smiled and walked away closing the door behind her.

I went to tell my wife, but she was sound asleep and I didn’t want to wake her. I confronted my wife’s step mom about it. The first thing she said was if I felt better. I told her I didn’t appreciate her doing that, and I’d like her to leave later. She said that it wasn’t as if she’s never seen a guy do that before, and that my wife said I did that from time to time, and she just wanted to see it and that I should just drop it, and not tell my wife. WTF

Before I talk with my wife, I have a few questions. Do women talk with their mothers or step moms about there husbands doing that? Should I tell my wife? How should my relationship be with the step mom at the point?

Serious advice only please….

16 Answers

  • Elsie
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I know mothers and daughters who are that close that they talk about that kind of stuff but I'm not one of them. Maybe she's just that close with her or if they were knocking back some cosmos at a girl's night out and everyone got a little loose lipped about their partners...who knows. My husband is a nurse and he says the women talk way more about their sex lives to one another than any man he's ever known.

    While I think her sticking around to watch was inappropriate, I think your anger is coming from the fact that you are embarrassed about "getting caught". Asking her to leave when your wife really needs her is a little extreme.

    I wouldn't press the issue with your step-mother-in-law, but I would definitely tell your wife about it. If she acts like it's no big deal, then I wouldn't worry about it, but if she gets upset, then the 2 of you should talk to the stepmom together.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    OMG! Ok firstly, no I do not talk to my mother or step mother about my sex life... that's just gross. And yes I think you should tell your wife what your step mother did as I'm pretty sure she will be very pi$$ed (at least I'd be). Not really sure what your relationship is going to be w/ the stepmom, but I would assume very uncomfortable. If this was my situation I think the step mom would have to leave my house!! Is there any other family member that can help out w/ your son? If not, can you afford daycare? Good luck w/ this one... You'll have to keep us updated as to how your wife took the news.

  • 1 decade ago

    Amazing, I read sex story just like this! Except the Mom helped herself to a hand full. I do not think most women talk to their step moms or real moms about you MBing. I doubt she even knew you would do that. I think the step mom wants some son in law action. Ask your wife if she ever mentioned this to her before. Then tell her what happened but dont tell her how long mom stood there. Just tell her mom caught you just as you finished and smiled and walked away.

  • 1 decade ago

    Do women talk with their mothers or step moms about there husbands doing that? I never ever talk to my mother about my sex life.

    Should I tell my wife? Yes tell her. Don't keep secrets

    How should my relationship be with the step mom at the point? Cool and distant. She sounds creepy. She's not the bio-mom so she has no blood ties to your wife.... not a good situation

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  • 1 decade ago

    First of all, what in the world was she doing in your sleeping quarters? that would be my first question. If I was you I would tell your wife because it sounds to me as if the step mom is that morbid then she might twist things around in her favor and create problems. Her step mom is in your home and you have the right to say who stays and who goes. For the fact she asked you not to tell, right there it sounds to me as if she is covering herself up. I doubt your wife has said anything to her and I certainly wouldn't share sex stories with my mother or worst even if I had a step mom.

  • 1 decade ago

    what your wife tells her step mom, depends on her relationship with her step mom, it's not unheard of, but when you tell your wife what happened it may be a good idea to start out by asking her if she ever talked about it with her step mom. If she did, tell her that you are uncomfortable with that as being a topic of conversation between them and tell her what happened in regards to her watching you. as to how you should act around the women now, i would keep a good distance away, if she was curious enough to watch, who knows what else she may do.

  • sayres
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Was she remorseful? If now not, she is probably not telling you the identify on the grounds that she's enthusiastic about carrying on with this affair. It's undoubtedly at paintings. Do you already know any of her co-employees? Are you just about any of them? Maybe it is a buddy, and she or he is aware of on the way to harm you much more. Do you've gotten a mood? Maybe she thinks that you can desire to overcome him down. It would be a quantity of matters. I could feel matters via, and get your self to a peaceful and rational state. Then, I might feel approximately coming to her process, probably select her up for lunch or whatever so you'll be able to "take a seem round." Best wants. (God can get better marraiges from affairs.)

  • 1 decade ago

    Women talk about lots of things, sometimes about what their men do, but for her step mom to want to "see it" is disturbing. You shouldn't hesitate to tell your wife and be cautious of this woman. As hard as it may be, I would tell her step mom that it made you VERY uncomfortable and that this behavior will not be tolerated in your house. There is no question that a boundary has been crossed. I agree with you, WTF?????

  • Jeanna
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    You should tell your wife. No normal woman discusses her husband's jerking off habits with their mother or step mother.

    I would keep your step mother away from your son too- she is not exhibiting behaviors that I would want near children.

  • 1 decade ago

    you need to tell your wife!

    theres no ifs and or buts about it!

    your step mom in law has violated your privacy along with your wife's privacy!!!

    and for her to stand there to continue to watch is down right wrong and you need to tell you wife! your wife needs to put her in her place!!!

    and your step mom in law liked it and she has betrayed your wife by telling you to drop it and not tell her, and you don't want to do the same by not telling her!!

    And she needs to leave and get out NOW!!!

    try and get some time off at work or see if you can start getting off early!

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