How do I get my 5 year old to clean her room?

My daughter can 'literaly' destroy her bedroom in a matter of minutes. I will start be politely asking her to clean her room. "Can you put your ditry clothes in the laundry room, please?", or "Be sure to put your books in the bookbag."

After a while, when she has done nothing, I turn her TV off, and tell her that she can begin watching TV or playing video games when her room is clean. Then it will get to telling her she has to stay in there until it is clean, only to come out to potty or eat. After a whole day or two of combat, I end up taking everything away from her, and she is left with nothing but a bed and clothes. After a week or two of NO toys, I will give them back (only if she has been good) and it starts all over again, as if it has never happened in the first place. I have tried rewarding her for good deeds, dicepline, and negotiation. Ive tried almost everything I could think of besides putting her up for adoption (thats a joke...).

What do I do?

8 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I agree, a whole room can be overwhelming for a child by themselves. Helping is an excellent idea.

    I have a rule with my boys, they can take out and play with whatever all day long. It has to stay away from the bottom of stairs and out of hallways/walkways (nothing hurts worse than a lego or G.I. Joe in the foot!). At the end of the day they have 30 minutes to get everything picked up and put away. Set a timer and when it goes off I give them each a brown grocery bag and walk through he house and they have to pick up whatever orphan toys I see left out and then the bag goes off to charity. I stick to my guns and it isn't too often that I find something left out.

    For your daughter, something similar could work but be sure you have things organized for her ability. Get bins and put pictures on them for what is suppose to go in them so she knows where things need to go.

    Good luck and just remember, we were all there once and hated cleaning our rooms too.

  • 1 decade ago

    Here's my line " part of playing is cleaning up. If you can't do the cleaning you can't do the playing". As far as taking the toys away. I think you're on the right track. But she should earn each toy back one at a time. Decide ahead of time how she will earn them back. (each day one toy, but if all is not cleaned up in the end , whatever is out gets taken away again and start over) and explain that if she doesn't want the toys then you can give them to a little girl who does not have toys and will take care of them. (This one will require follow through, so don't use it if you won't do it.) Also stop asking her to do it. I tell my kids I am not asking you I am telling you to "put your toys away" or "pick up your clothes" or whatever. Also put some toys away in totes, that only you can get to. Only leave "X" number of toys accessible to her. If she wants the other toys she can have them but has to ask. This will help you in the area of control. good luck

    Source(s): teacher and mom
  • 1 decade ago

    I go through the same thing w/ my 5 year old. I've tried:

    1) Play w/ one toy at a time, and clean after each one (for ex: barbies, and then puzzles)

    2) Clean together b/c a whole room can be intimidating for young children & they don't know where to begin. Sometimes we have a race to see who can clean faster.

    3) I ACTUALLY throw her toys away (well, I donate them) and if you're serious, you do it. If you bring it back, she's 5 now & she knows you're going to bring them back, so what's the point?

    4)If all else fails, use Santa! LOL

    I think cleaning together & having the race has been the best plan.

    Source(s): Mum of 2
  • well, i suppose its mainly coz of her age coz shes young and stuff she doesn't understand..maybe, if you clean the room and have her help you she'll get into the routine of it slowly and also if you continue giving her rewards for it.. i suppose you just have to be a little patient now though and maybe keep less things in her room so theres not much to make a mess with ? ^_^ dont worry, it;ll get better as she gets older :)

    hope this helped ! :D


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  • 1 decade ago

    When you want your 4 year old to do something that they do not want to do...i know this sounds crazy but it works. Give the child eye to eye contact and in a firm but crisp and warm voice say "Julie, it's time for you to clean your room now. Thank you."

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i have a 4 year old with the same problem...i have begun to say "if you dont listen to momma then i will have to pick a toy and throw it away"...BUT you will actually have to throw one away infront of have to follow through with your threat and dont give it back...therefore i suggest tossing something little a barbie shoe...or 1 really works on my kid...all i have to say now is...OK what toy do you want me to pick" and she hurries to do what i asked... good luck

    lmao good one xsophiia..i like the ten dollar idea :)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    what i once read, was that, let her room be messy.

    let her mess it up as much as she wants and never cleans it.

    after a few weeks or days, if she cant find anything, and you can barely walk in her room, say youll take her for ice cream, or something if she cleans her room. or say you hid 10 dollars in her room and she has to clean her room to find it

  • 4 years ago

    i actually enjoyed extremely some the different responses, which blanketed using boxes, possibilities, and so on. i think of yet another key could be giving your daughter a concrete meaning to the information "sparkling." She could think of that being waiting to stroll for the duration of the room and locate her popular doll is "sparkling." and in line with probability this could be a reason that she could quite do different chores: they could be much less confusing to understand your expectation. cleansing along with her before everything could be powerful yet, for sure, you choose to be waiting to head directly to different issues on a similar time as she cleans her very own room. you are able to evaluate an interactive photograph time table: make photographs which characterize each and each element of the cleansing technique, and velcro them onto a strip from left to right, interior the order she could finished them. case in point--> make mattress, positioned toys in bin, positioned books on shelf, positioned clothing in drawer...positioned an envelope or some thing below the strip, so she would be able to get rid of each and each photograph as that's finished. then you definately can replace them later, Or, if the order would not remember, she would be able to replace them herself the subsequent time she cleans. a super thank you to construct in motivation is to end the time table with some super reinforcer, that can replace in line with what she is involved in on the time. you are able to as nicely positioned 2 or 3 photographs on the tip (in a column), representing issues she would be able to % between whilst her room is sparkling--> ice cream, a million/2 hour of television, a visit to the park (in spite of you sense is ideal). do no longer enable all and sundry help you already know that your expectancies are too extreme (a minimum of no longer for this reason). our young babies learn what we practice. sure, before everything, you will could help her many times, and ought to lessen to one or 2 cleanings a week. yet whilst she is doing that nicely, start up fading your self out, and anticipate her to do it extra many times. at last, you would be waiting to deliver her as much as sparkling her room universal. And optimistically in any respect, she would be able to start protecting it sparkling. extra ideal to start coaching this suggests on a similar time as she is youthful, than waiting till she is a teenager....!

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