Men out there can you give a girl advice (women can too)?

After 5 years we have decided to get engaged...no planning a wedding (would love too)..but saving that for next year. I come home from work or school and my lubby is asleep on the chair. I do my regular routine of studying and cleaning up the house...but each night it has become the same. I would say we have good intimate times and are a match but I can't get into that like I used too. But I still take care of him. I'm just wanting us to get away on a cheap roadtrip or something cause i'm going insane. Why is it when a guy first meets a woman he is all about going and doing everything for her...but then it becomes just stay at home month after he's got the girl? lol What can I do to make my situation better. I just feel bored...and I don't want it to be that way.

Update:

Curtis you are right! :)

Update 2:

No i definately believe marriage is going to be a lot of hard work. I just needed some opinions cause i was going to plan a getaway and I don't want him telling me we can't afford it. We can. And we haven't did anything together for quite awhile...besides getting breakfast somewhere.

Update 3:

I lived on my own since I was 18. I've put myself through 5 years of college. This last 4 months is when I moved in with him. I could not afford to live on my own. I tried. He was gracious to let me move in. There is nothing wrong with this.

10 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    We get bored too! It's not like if you plan a trip we'll always say no. Also don't expect him to change. If this is what he's like now, this is how he will be when you get married. REMEMBER LADIES MEN DON'T CHANGE!

  • 1 decade ago

    It seems to me that by "intimate times", you only mean sex - but it needs not be this way. You can have intimate times with your spouse that have nothing at all to do with sex - this is not the only source of intimacy in a relationship. Yes, your life will necessarily settle into a routine - it's something to be expected. You can't live just for the excitement of the first few months of a new relationship - you have to learn to find joy in the small things, in sharing your life with another person even if "sharing" often means simply watching a TV show together or eating dinner together. It's not all fireworks and roses - life is much more subtle.

    First off - you need to find ways to entertain yourself; don't count on the other person to make your life exciting - you, yourself, need to do it. If you are boring, you will be bored. Find hobbies, interests that you can engage in on your own.

    Two - take a look at his hobbies; is there anything you could take an interest in?

    Three - if you feel your relationship needs excitement, take the lead and start suggesting things you can do together. Take tennis lessons; join a local hiking club; go and see movies you both want to see; invite mutual friends over for a BBQ; go to a karaoke bar; play videogames; sign up for a foreign language class; go camping. There are things a couple can do together; a common interest will bring you closer. Talk to him about it and see what both of you can do to make your lives - and, by extension, your relationship - more interesting.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you want to be married, then I think you should move on. Five years is more than enough time to know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. Even now, you are not really engaged at all. Engagements are about planning a wedding, not figuring out if you want to be married. Move on now to find someone or something that will bring you more happiness. If not, you will wake up in 5 more years and wonder why you wasted so much time.

  • 1 decade ago

    You both tend to stay in so that you can save money to put towards your (joint) hopes, dreams, and future together...if you are out all the time you'll spend all the money you could be saving for other things (like your wedding). If you feel pent up then plan for a quick getaway weekend...sometimes I just have to plan something and tell my husband we are going. It could range from a family hike to a night away from it all. If you think marriage is all about permanent wining and dining - you are sadly mistaken.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    jason hit the nail on the head for me too.

    my last ex live-in gf always told me that she was going to call my boss and get me a long weekend so we could travel to minneapolis to see a prairie home companion live, but in 4 1/2 yrs she never cared enough to take the time to do that, but during that same timeframe she always expected me to let her know of my plans for her and i to do for each and every weekend.

    its not always the men who must make the first move...women pursue men in the beginning just as much as men pursue the women...and both can and should do sponteanous things and plan sponteanous trips that would make the other happy during the whole relationship...isn't that what companionship means.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well the same thing happens to some woman also. They get comfortable with their mate and then they start to let their looks go. So both sexes are quilty of that kind of stuff. You just need to make a note not to do those sort of things too often. And to find the time to spend together.

  • 1 decade ago

    You never should have moved in with him in the first place. You are going to have to try extra hard to make your relationship work. With that said, try and think only positive thoughts. Remind yourself why you are with him in the first place. Be super sweet and nice to him. He will definitely respond.

  • Lydia
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Don't 'blame' him - you have let it happen. We teach people how to treat us! Plus, with the two of you shacking up, it's pretty common, it's not special anymore, so it sounds like you are taking each other for granted. Time to change your attitude, and get things shakin'!

  • 1 decade ago

    Your fiancee doesn't want a marriage, he wants a mommy. Run don't walk away from this one. Think you will change him ? I really doubt he will change. What you see is what you get.

    Source(s): Life.
  • 1 decade ago

    well he wanted to impress you and now he feels like he has you. you need to take control and say we are going out and doing something right now. best of luck

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.