I have a autoimmune disease and a girlfriend?

She said that she doesn't know if she will be able to put up with taking care of me or even deal with me not being alive when she hits her 40's. The disease effects my fingers and toes. Do I keep her until she leaves which could be soon or never. She actually listens to what i have to say and has helped me slow my drinking. At this time she does not need to take care of me at all. Or do i get rid of her and find someone who is not self centered. Help with a suggestion that i can do.

1 Answer

  • Anama
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hi Cameron, I have an autoimmune disease as well, and I certainly do not allow it to influence those sort of decisions about my life and who I love.

    Here is the deal, is there any chance that you are ready to be married or in a real relationship any time soon? I certainly hope not because it sounds like you may have an alcohol issue that needs to be dealt with before you can commit to someone.

    I understand that you feel there is some pressure here with your shortened life expectancy, but honestly, if a man approached me about our relationship in the manner that you are approaching this issue and your whole p.o.v. (should I "keep her/ get rid of her"), well, let's just say that I would be making that decision myself and it would be a very easy one at that! Who wants a man like that? If you were the type of person who embraces life, lives with joy and appreciation, loved deeply and well, then I would embrace a life with you and all that comes with it. If you are just looking for a future "nursemaid with benefits", forget about it!!! and NEXT!!

    Seriously, there is no need to make the decision to stay together or break up right now. It is simple. You all will either work this out as it is, or you will break up one day. It might not even be over your autoimmune disease... it could be over your drinking, or even the way you or she snores at night, or a million other things. I really do not see the point of deciding your future together based on what MIGHT or might not happen decades from now.

    I say let this matter rest, and try to work on your other issues at hand. There are so many people out there with other major physical issues that are not important to the people who love them. Everyone just deals with whatever is given to them day by day, we can do no more than that. No one knows how they are going to react to any situation until they are in the middle of it. She may say she can handle it, and then find out that she really can't, or it could go the other way, where she can handle it and it surprises both of you. Only time will tell.

    You need to decide to work on yourself and to make yourself a good man, and then you will know if she is right for you or not.

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