Uncomfortable holiday visits....?

So, I'm going to spend Christmas with my birth mother, who I didn't know until I was 21. Her and her husband have had the hardest time out of all my family coming to grips with my sexuality, due to how they were raised. This time the whole right-wing redneck family's gonna be there.

Well, I was told before I came for Christmas what I was and wasn't allowed to speak about in front of the family, and was asked if I could possibly "try to act as masculine as possible" for them. I'm going to do it, and I have my own little evil plans, but I want stories from you guys about your uncomfortable visits home after you came out, or some good stories about how it went really well. Anything to help me feel a little better about my situation. :D Thanks, loves!

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    It has never been in that situation. Now I have family come visit our home and be uncomfortable. I like the thought of your own "evil plans." A man after my own heart. I'm so proud.

  • 1 decade ago

    haha. I'm only 13, and haven't come out to my parents (and only a couple friends), so I don't have any stories, but I'm sure I will. But I would try to act as gay as possible if I had such a homophobic family (which I don't). And put those evil plans to work. You don't have to wreck the whole visit, but just be yourself and if they don't like it, then TOO BAD! lol. No, you don't have to go over the top with it, but I would just be myself and do what I normally do if I were you. But I don't even act very gay in the first place, so I don't think that would be that catastrophic to act like myself. I just don't think they should tell you what to say because you are over 21, and they shouldn't be telling you what to talk about just because the rednecks ain't gonna like it. But I hope you enjoy your visit and nothing goes too wrong. Happy Holidays!! :D (((HUGS)))

  • Charli
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    i go to a nice little church school for good catholic children and my best mate whos gay and is a great fan of cross dressing ran for head boy. the head said he would only get considered if he ditched the skirt for the meeting with the governors. He told them wear to shove it and wore the girls uniorm and guess what... he got it! the moral of that story that even the most conservative rednecks will respect you for being who you are and if they dont then they arn't worth the bother of having there opinion

    That said im still too scared to come out to my BNP dad (BNP is the guys in england who reckon england is for the english and we should shoot the others)

  • 1 decade ago

    I think you are being put in a difficult position and understand you may want 'evil plans' to break out.

    My cousin spread rumours through my family that I was queer. What was worse - he was right! How does one overcome it when nobody is willing to acknowledge what is being said behind one's back?

    I think you have to try to make them see that the way they want you to behave is really really unreasonable. If they won't stand up for you, I wouldn't feel I owed them any loyalty.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Was kind of lucky here. Had no problems with my family!!! I can imagine how things would be uncomfortable and I wish you luck with that! And evil plans are ALWAYS good!

  • 1 decade ago

    hey dear,

    my best advice is to be your natural flamboyant self. tell her you are very happy! and mention that you have a "male partner." if she freaks, just tell her you're upset that the visit didn't work out. then leave her to feel guilty..

    if she's happy and understanding, then yay! i wish you the best of luck. coming out to family and friends are the hardest thing to do, almost everything else seems easy after(:

  • 1 decade ago

    I suppose it's all down to how much you are prepared to compromise your true self to keep your mother sweet. If you really don't want to, just tell her, and tell her why, then stay away.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you can't be you don't go.

    Or ask them to be more gay.

    I have a t-shirt that I wear every year to a certain party.

    It says.

    "I don't mind straight people, so long as the act gay in public".

  • 1 decade ago

    screw em. i would be super super super gay. and make sure you make yourself into every stereotype that they could possibly dream of. they dont even deserve for you to go if you ask my honest opinion. obviously they dont care about the REAL you!

  • 1 decade ago

    im sorry dude my family doesn't mind homosexual people my sister and i are both gay and they dont really care it would suck to be in your shoes i wish you the best of luck

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