do you know anyways to calm down and control or stop anger?

ok, i have difficulty controlling anger. its got me kicked out of my whole state school system. its completely wrecking my life, please give me ideas on how to better calm down and controll anger. please dont say hit anything, i've benn fined before for breaking the schools bathroom wall. i need things that are not destructive please. help me, i'm very scared of my own strength when it is being fueled and driven with uncontrolled rage.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ask yourself where all the rage comes from. Were you treated badly as a child? Do you somehow feel hard done by?

    There are various therapies that could help you...and i would recommend investigating hypnotherapy. Going under hypnosis itself will calm you down IMMENSELY as it is a deep state of relaxation, and it will enable you to find the core of your anger problem; whats causing it, and help you come to terms with it, which will result in you being a lot less angry, which i'm sure will feel a lot better than having that rage inside you all the time.

    You could go the psychiatrist route, but all this will do is give you a medication to stop you being angry, which you'll need to take maybe for the rest of your life to help you control your anger.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    There's a couple of things to try. Notice when you are getting mad before you blow up. Sense the tension in your body and acknowledge that you're heating up. Take action with deep breathing. Breath in and count to three then let it out slowly (like a sigh). Repeat several times and concentrate on breathing and counting until you feel calmer, try to slow it down as much as possible. Next, identify what is behind the anger. Anger is a secondary emotion and is preceded by something else. Recognize what it is and think it through. For example, I got angry when I got a speeding ticket. What emotion did I feel before anger? Embarrassement, surprise, sadness, frustration. I was embarrassed because I knew what I was doing was wrong and should have been driving the limit. I was surprised because I had gotten away with it before and suddenly there's the cop with a ticket. I wasn't expecting it. I was sad because it was going to cost me and I'd rather spend my money on something else. I was frustrated because I wanted to hurry and now I was delayed. After every statement I could tell myself..."because..." which would allow me to explore more about my thoughts that lead me to anger in the first place. For example, I was embarrassed because... (I view myself as a good person and my actions didn't reflect it). Additionally, anger may come from a heightened sense of alertness or arousal which may have come from childhood traumas etc. If this seems to be the case, I'd suggest finding a counselor that can help resolve personal traumas and stress. Good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    You really need to be in a completely controlled environment, with a highly skilled therapist who deals with anger management. Many times they will get together small groups of people with similar feelings and backgrounds as yours too, which really works.

    Anger management is one of the fastest and easiest behavior issues to fix - please call or ask around, no doubt there are more than one you can try. Seriously - I had the same problem you have - they will give you ALL the right tools to fix the problem and you will feel a million times better about everything.

    Source(s): DIRECT EXPERIENCE
  • Kit
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    You might want to sign up for anger management classes, I am sure there are some nearby where you live. I also think getting into sports and not necessarily team sports might help you release, when you are working out and tiring the body it will help ease the tension. Bike riding up and down a terrain, swimming, weightlifting at a gym are just a few suggestions. Hope this helped a bit.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Execise alot go to the gym and lift weights one day and go run outside or do some sort of activity or try getting into boxing. Those things helps me. You could go to a physcoligist and get on triloptal that really helped me it is a mood stablizier

  • 1 decade ago

    Make a mini zen garden.

    Get a little (shallow) wooden box with a top, fill it with sand, get a few small rocks/pebbles, and a mini rake (like a doll house one) and use it to create paths and patterns with the rocks and rake.

    It's actually verrry soothing..

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, just think that why you are angry and what can be that much important to make you angry and during this thinking get breathe :) it will works believe me!

  • 1 decade ago

    i would try seeing a psychiatrist. it helped me...

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