What do you do when you find out the child you have been raising is not really yours?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Throw a party and thank the Lord I don't have to pay child support.

  • 1 decade ago

    There are lots of circumstances here that change the situation... How did you find out? How attached are you to the child and vise versa? How old is the child? Are you and the mother married? And so on.

    Not knowing any of that, I'd say if the child is attached to you, loves you like a dad, and is secure with you then you are his/her dad. The child didn't create this situation. The mother did. Again, depending on the circumstances, the mother is to blame. If you guys can work through this and were happy together before this came up then why let it ruin a good family? If there were problems already then maybe it is time to re-evaluate whether or not you want to stay with the mother. Not staying with her doesn't mean you can't be a part of the child's life.

    I hope that was helpful. I know some people that have been through this sort of thing...Sometimes everything works out great. Other times not so great. Just know that love is not something biological. It is a choice you make.

    love

    noun, verb, loved, lov⋅ing.

    –noun

    1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

    2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

    4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

    5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?

    6. a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.

    8. (initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.

    9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.

    10. strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.

  • Afina
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I expect that you are upset and I can't really blame you but try to remember this... You love the child, that shouldn't change. You have been raising the child, keep doing so. It is not the child's fault and the child needs you, now more than ever. Remember that a family is not defined by blood. It is defined by love.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It's not the childs fault. And If that happened I would think i would of already made a connection with the child. Why take out the partners mistake on the child? That's not fair.

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  • 1 decade ago

    i know that this is probably a blow to you but i think you should continue to be a part of the child's life. it is not the child's fault and the love that you have for the child (and more importantly, that the child has for you) is still there. you should sit down and have a long talk with the mother about trust and how she broke it and what you expect from her from now on. don't be too quick to jump on her because she may not have known that the child was not yours (granted she should have told you from the get-go that the child may not have been yours). but seriously, the child does not deserve to be abandoned because your feelings or pride may be hurt.

  • 1 decade ago

    That would be insane. I don't think I would be able to give up the child I had been raising. I would have been too closely bonded to him or her. I'm not sure I can say what I would do until that actually happened to me.

  • 1 decade ago

    One thing i know is it takes more than sperm to call someone a dad and u still can be there dad even though there not proven in some test that it is ure child. Dont punish a kid for something that was a mistake. If u truly loved ure baby thats all u need

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Even if your not the father, you can still be the dad. Parenthood is not about biology, but about love and emotions. If you love this child and they love you, then you have an obligation to stay in their life. Remember, its not the child's fault.

  • Stacey
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    If you love the child like it's your own anyways, you should continue being the child's father even though you're not biologically.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I would take a paternity test to be 100% sure of it.

    I would then see if I was going to severe ties to the relationship or keep it going.It all depends on the situation.

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