Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

Should I wait? What is going on?

He's 21 and I am 2.5 years older than him. We have been together for two years. I broke up with him once last year to deal with some personal problems and when we got back together everything was perfect. His family loves me and mine loves him. He was loving and caring and everything I could ask for. We dealt with everything head on, we both agreed it was like a dream. Then he decided to move back home 8 hours away to get his financial life and career on track and to be near his friends and family. I was supposed to come with later.

He started acting distant and said he loves me but he doesn't want the responsibilities of a serious relationship right now, he still wants to be with me and he doesn't want to date anyone else (he lives in a small town I would've heard if he was- plus I know him well enough to know he means it) He said he wants to stay friends with me and go on dates with me sometimes when we visit but he "merely wants to live our lives until the time comes" he is doing a lot of self discovery but he is also pushing me away a lot in the process. I decided to let him come to me when he wanted to talk but then he started acting immaturely with phone calls, ie hanging up or telling me to call and not answering five seconds later or not calling when he makes plans to call. He started hanging out with his friends back home and they don't seem to be a very good influence on him. I told him to "just stay gone" after he started acting this way and he has called me fourteen times in a row and left messages saying that he loves me and that he cares about me and he doesn't want to hurt me and I am choosing to feel hurt.(this was last week) He continually sends messages asking if I'm coming for Thanksgiving but I haven't responded to anything. I am so confused, I know he loves me, I know he wants to be with me, but why is he acting so childish? and will this ever change? Why is he pushing me away? He broke up with me saying that he didn't want to and he still loves me but he didn't think it was fair to me to keep me from finding someone else because he knows he needs to focus on himself right now.

Before you say it: I am busy with my own things, I don't contact him (anymore) I have friends and family that I hang out with. I have Yoga, volunteer work, my artwork, protests and work parties, I have in no way stopped my life over this but I miss my best friend, I want to understand.

Update:

he just texted me that he can't wait to see me for Thanksgiving... I am so confused will someone please give me advice

2 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Wow, my girlfriend is the same way childish .. except your boyfriend has a good purpose of "ignoring" you he has a job and a career non like mine : [

    she just wants to drink and hang out with friends and family that have such low lifes and i'm afraid she will fall for that type of stuff again ,

    Sorry, i'm supposed to be answering your question ha . If you love him and he's been trying to contact you for over a week now after he was being childish and dumb .. maybe he realized what he was doing and now he wants to apologize and change things ? I strongly suggest you go with him and his family on thanksgiving .. have a good time ..idk if I should tell you to take the time to talk to him about it ? or just try and not talk about it until later because either way things can be uncomfortable and you won't want to ruin the day by arguing and such .

    Idk if you're religious what so ever but maybe you should pray about it ? and talk to him !! you need to get your things straight .. fix things because you love each other and maybe in the future you can move in totogether or move closer to each other . Two years of a relationship is a long time ,, i'm sure it's not easy to do this .. but if you feel like you don't wana talk to him keep doing what you're doing stay distracted and stay involved with other things other than thinking about him .. maybe it's not meant to be and there's someone else out there as well .

    I hope i helped a little ?

    i'm almost in the same situation as you see ..

    and I wouldn't really know what to do either : [

  • 1 decade ago

    You need to decide what you want. Do you want to wait for him? Do you want to be with him? Do you want to see him? If the answer is yes to those questions, you need to go see him for Thanksgiving. Right now you are playing a game with him. If you don't want him in your life you need to tell him. By not telling him, you are just stringing him along until something better comes along.

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