Single moms with children?

How hard is it? What did you have to cut back on when starting off?

Im having a hard time right now and seriously thinking about leaving in the next few months. I have 2 young children. Him and I are having alot of problems which he does not see. He is a alcoholic and is very mean to our son. For our daughter, when he is home, no rules apply to her which I think is not good. He gives her EVERYTHING she asks for. He tells her to call her brother mean names. Right now I am a stay at home mom with very little income. I am so ready to leave soon. What do I need to prepare myself to leave.

Any advise would be great.

5 Answers

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  • Pashok
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It like almost impossible to survive, most hardest thing you would ever encounter in every aspect.

    Source(s): *I*
  • 1 decade ago

    Leave !!! You will NOT regret it later you will not. Yes it is hard but you will survive at first you feel all the changes and questions from your children but keep on moving ahead with your children. The family and friends will give you the hand. About your income start putting out applications agencies or what ever you think you can start with. Im a single parent for 3yrs. Is better alone with your children then living in a situation like your just because hes the father no way nobody deserves to support that way of living.

    Good luck but move out.

  • 1 decade ago

    First time around I was 21 years old. I threw the alcoholic bum out and then went back to school and then college. I had to support my daughter by myself. Yes it was tough, but I had a mom to help me.

    Second time around. My little daughter is now 25 years old, but I got married again when I was 28. My new husband turned out to be just as bad, actually worse. He treated our new son and daughter like crap, he was gone for days on end, turned out he was a drug addict. I threw him out 8 years ago. BEST THING I EVER DID. Yes, I work hard, I have to do the work of 2 people, but my son and daughter respect me very much, and I am TOTALLY DEVOTED to my kids.

    To prepare yourself, you will need to have a plan. Where will you live? How will you support yourself and your children? I suggest that you first start off with finding a good babysitter and then either go back to school to get skills, or go ahead and look for a job. You must have a solid income. Write down your income vs your expenses. List everything: Rent, car payment, insurance, gas, electricity, phone, groceries, then add about $100 to that for emergencies. If you want something bad enough, you can do it. Make sure you get child support, not for you, for your kids, they deserve it.

  • emma b
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Ok. Im a single mum of one and ahd to throw a violent partner out...my sons father. At firsts it's hard. But you will survive. As you dont work you need to go straight to the job center...no not for a job, ts where they deal with benefits too. Tell them what's happend and they will get you on income support and with child tax credits to. You will also get help with council tax and what not.

    If you want some advice a bit closer to home, go to your local citizens advice bureau, they have helped me no end

    good luck, you'll do great on your own!

    x

    oooh heres the C.A.B website addy http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

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  • 1 decade ago

    wow.. girl good for you if you decide to leave a bad situation for your children and yourself.

    i'm a singe mommy and my son is 16months old... luckily i've always worked full time at the same job so i've had the income but by all means it does not mean it's easy..

    i'd recommend, if their around, to use your parents/family/friends as much as possible.. i completely understand you not wanting your kids in that enviornment. i've never been a supporter of saying together for the kids.. you can raise very well adjusted children with separated parents.. do whats best for you and your kids..

    but anyway.. i just moved back home to save and buy a house but be4 that i was renting on my own for awhile.. just me and my lil man..

    it's VERY hard but it's nothing us moms cant handle.. there are many governmental programs that can help out financially with day care, some food, milk, eggs, cheese, etc.. it's not "welfare" but (where i'm from) it's call WIC. I was never eligible but know many people on it who pay practaly NOTHING for day.. use all available programs to your benefit and NEVER feel as tho your getting charity..

    being by yourself is tough but something that's beneficial for you is you have 2 who can play with each other and keep each other company.

    you'll be doing it all.. cooking, cleaning, getting up with them in the middle of the night, getting up early to get them yourself and them ready for work/day care.. come home and do it all again..

    it's nothing to be afraid of tho... MANY women do it EVERY day.

    I felt more confident and independant cause i know i can do it on my own...

    you'll be fine! do whats best for you! we're always here to help if you need ;))))

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