Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

Problem with grandmother?

OK my grandmother is having some problems and we don't know what to do.

For years she lived in Texas (way far away from us) with our abusive grandfather would never let her do anything (control freak). They also refused to acknowledge the fact that I existed until I was about 10 years old because I was born out of wedlock. Kinda sucks with your brothers and sisters get presents and cookies from Grandma at Christmas but you don't.

Anyways, my grandfather died a view years ago and she decided to move up to our state in the same small town we lived in. After a few years I moved to the city, and later my mom and siblings did too. She stayed out in that small town in her huge house. She raises dogs, and lets them urinate and poop all over the house and never picks it up. It's absolutely disgusting.

Now she constantly complains that nobody comes to see her, and sometimes makes comments like she's gonna kill herself.

It's incredibly frustrating. We've told her that nobody comes to see her because she lets the dogs piss and crap all over the floor and it's disgusting. Not to mention she just plain rude alot and has always had this attitude that "if your younger than me, than anything you have to say is less important than what I say"

Any advice?

Update:

Kate, why the hell would I call the Healthy Department? That would just make the situation worse and could push her over the edge.

5 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    How frustrating is that. Unfortunately, she sounds like the older type that will not change in her ways. Old ppl become use to their way and their is the only way. You can try the honestl approach. Tell her you love her and want to visit, but cannot stand the offensive odor. Or you could ask her if you can come pick her up for a day out. Perhaps you and your family can offer to clean her house and have the carpets/floors cleaned, and build a shed area for the pets to be outdoors.

    I'm sorry I really don't have different advice. My grandmother had the same issues that we never resolved until she developped alheimerz and we had to move her in with us, then eventually a nursing facility.

    Good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    Ignore her...she is an old lady who has lived her life largely abused and under the command of a grandfather who "ran the show"...she has lost her husband, companion and in a sense, Master. He told her what to do and like a dutifully submissive wife, she did it. Even shun her own grandchild, which is something alot of women could not & would not do, even if they had to sneak, it's just a motherly thing.

    All this to say that she cant be the proudest person when she looks back on her life, what she has done and what she hasn't. She is probably suffering from some inner bitterness, deep seeded resentment, so she is throwin herself a "pity party" and wants the fam to now come and commiserate with her.

    She wants some attention. I think as a show of good measure you all should hire a cleaning crew or housemaid to come and clean up...if she agrees, consider going over, or picking her up and taking her out.

    She is an old woman and Im sure she is pretty stuck in her ways, there is just no changing that. You never know when she might not wake up to ask you all to come and visit, so dont play tit for tat too long. Might turn out to be too late.

    All the best!

  • 1 decade ago

    She is old, GRIN and bear it. When they are old, they revert back to childhood. They never listen, are stubborn as pigs and as helpless as little children. My father-in-law is 82, and he is as hard to handle as a two year old. He can't speak, he has alzimhimers, he urinates if I don't send him to the toilet on time. He gets lost if he goes out of the house alone. He wants food, even he just ate, cause he can't rember eating. It is a tough job, yet your grandma is all alone by herself, either you take her with you so that she is not lonely, or put up with the dogs and pay her more small short visits.

  • 1 decade ago

    Call the Health Department

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 4 years ago

    whether it makes some human beings indignant on your loved ones you're able to desire to stand up on your Grandmother. And be very trouble-free and easy. something like Grandmother i admire you and prefer to be around you yet i admire my mom and it hurts me once you communicate approximately her. So in case you are able to no longer stop asserting undesirable issues approximately my mom i visit could desire to stop seeing you. that's your decision yet once you're saying something undesirable approximately my mom, you will lose me. that's the main severe to you? If trashing your mom is greater significant possibly its time to decrease off touch for a mutually as. you will nevertheless love her, yet all of us who places up with abuse isn't helping the two the abuser or themselves.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.