when you get married to a man, you marry his family...how far true is that?

My mother-in-law always complain to my husband that i don't spend time with her, my not spending time with her is because we speak different languages. i speak english and she speak spanish but she still complains so today i offered to take them(she and her husband) to a shopping mall this afternoon and i don't know how to manage that. she's in her 70s and i'm in my 20s and my father-in-law is in his late 80s.


i'm in a langugage institute

Update 2:

and we recently moved to latin america so i'm still trying to learn the language. everyone else speak spanish but me.

Update 3:

my husband is out of the country for work

18 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think its sweet that they want to spend time with you. My in-laws act like they are a closed circe and I'm not in it. We all speak English so its not because of language. They are the reason I'm fed up and am divorcing my spouse. They can all have each other. You have it made trying to learn in the institute and being in latin america. Enjoy.

    Anyway even though you think there is a language barrier your marriage is the inspiration to break through it. Take them to the mall and just make sure they enjoy themselves. Make believe you are the person in charge of a couple of visitors from a spanish-speaking country. You don't have to kiss their *sses but they are your elders. What language did you take in high school? It wasn't Spanish was it?

    You are going to have to tune your ear to the accents and think hard about what they are probably saying. They are going to be doing the same thing. Its a good idea that you are taking spanish classes and for them to take an ESL class. They can find one almost anywhere (churches, county recreation centers, public libraries). This is your golden opportunity to show them and yourself that Americans are just as able to speak other languages and be international than anybody else. Buena suerte!

    Source(s): American born Spanish student from 7th grade (Everyone needs more than 2yrs of it. Lived in Spain, Mexico and Puerto Rico trying to learn more Spanish. Open mind
  • 1 decade ago

    Well, maybe the shopping mall wasn't the smartest idea in the world....and though you're under no real moral responsibility to associate with your husband's parents, they are elderly and will not be around for much longer. It might be a nice gesture to learn a little bit of Spanish so that you can communicate with your mother-in-law, or even find someone who speaks both Spanish and English so that they can translate for you when you're together. Considering that it sounds like your husband probably speaks both Spanish and English, finding someone to translate shouldn't be too difficult. You might also try picking up a Spanish textbook so that you can study the language a bit. Your mother-in-law would probably love to help you learn, so you could make it into a very positive thing.

  • 1 decade ago

    And he marries your family.

    Yours is a bit of an exception because of the difference in age and languages - is he much older than you? The time frame is too short to do what would be the best - which is to get a friend or another relative who speaks both languages to come along - especially if both are mobility limited and have to be pushed in wheel chairs. Find out if you will need chairs. You may be able to rent them at the mall. Ask at stores that interest them if someone speaks Spanish to interpret. Take it easy, don't plan much. Don't be surprised if problems come up. Be pleasantly surprised if grandmama (aged) wants to buy you a small gift for being so nice.

  • Power
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    My son has a hispanice g-f & I am American & speak only English. My son moved accross the country but when he was here he had a very busy schedule but always made sure he spend a day with us during the weekend. We all went out together. So you should do this with your b-f with them. You can all just spend the day together. We would run to the store together & get things done & go out to eat of fix a meal together. This is so important so get some tapes & learn to speak spanish. If you have children & they live to be 90 your kids can learn both languages & have some of the best gifts any child can get that is of love.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well, spend more time with your MIL. Learn to appreciate her, even if you don't speak the language. You can always enjoy her cooking or the way she moves about the house, you can love her for creating a beautiful son, you can appreciate her for being a dedicated wife and mother. You can teach each other your languages! Just try to have a good time.

    And yes - especially in Latin countries - family is everything so you should try to integrate yourself into his family as much as possible.

  • 1 decade ago

    My husband is not close to his family so the saying is probably true most of the time - but there are exceptions.

    As for managing her at the mall - you are shopping, be pleasant and cordial. While you are there you can check out the Rosetta Stone at a kiosk - try picking up on a little spanish...if she's sees that you are trying, maybe she'll back down a little.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Be respective and friendly to your in-laws. They are, after all, your husband's parents. Shopping malls are really not good places for seniors.... I can't imagine a shopping mall as a comfortable place to build bonds with your husband's elderly parents.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It's pretty true. That was nice of you to offer to take them to a mall. Just be nice and try to communicate; smile a lot. She will be nervous, too, so just remember that. It's a new relationship for both of you; try to be relaxed.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Spending time with his family doesnt mean your married to them

    you have to spend time with your in laws they are the parents of your husband that is going to be hard two old people take them somewhere oldschool and feed them and take em home

    and wala bobs your uncle

  • _
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    You are under no obligation to sit and spend time with your MIL. If you want to, great, if not, no big deal! I do not spend time with my in laws ( I used to live with them.. that was enough time in my entire lifetime to spend with them.. those 4 awful months!). If they want to come visit to see the baby, great! I will not go to their house though.

    You do not marry your in laws. You might have to visit for holidays, birthdays and funerals, but you do not have to have tea and coffee every weekend.

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